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AIBU?

Job interview

30 replies

TrixieBlue2016 · 15/05/2016 21:50

I am a senior manager within the company I work for. I am doing interviews (as I of 3 on the panel) this week. When interviewing we don't get told the name of the candidates just get their application form.

My DH was out with one of his friends in Friday and was told that the DW of his friend is interviewing for a job in my company. His friend knows that I work for the company not that I would be interviewing. I'm not sure if his DW knew. But I'm sure she must. DH then told me.

On the application form there is a bit to say if you know someone at the company and none of the forms I saw had that bit checked. I contacted my boss yesterday to say I think I know a candidate, my boss agreed I should now be excused from the panel just encase this was true. He didnt know the name of the candidates either.

So friend and his DW came for dinner tonight and her DH mentioned her interview. His DW looked uncomfortable and didn't really say anything. I just said good luck. It was awkward.

I got a call from my boss about an hour ago. He asked me if I knew such and such. This was friends DW. I said yes.

DH has just had call from his friend. My company called DW and cancelled interview as she was asked again if she knew someone who worked there and she admitted she knew me but didn't put it on the application form. DH friend was angry that I must have told my company.

I feel terrible that her interview has been cancelled but I feel I had no choice. I would be in trouble if my company found out I knew her and didn't say anything until she showed up for her interview. The DW needs a job as they have just bought a new house. Wiu?

OP posts:

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edwinbear · 15/05/2016 22:01

YANBU - if you hadn't flagged it, potentially both you and the DW would be in need of a job! You did the right thing, she was dishonest.

mumofthemonsters808 · 15/05/2016 22:02

I would have done exactly the same, try not to beat yourself up, the wife had the opportunity to declare she knew you and decided not to. She now has to deal with the consequences.Id also feel awkward and somehow responsible for her interview being cancelled but logically I'd know my hands were tied. The wife does probably need a job, but so does every other applicant.In this life, sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong and get drawn into situations that are beyond your control.

NameChange30 · 15/05/2016 22:05

Can't she just call them and apologise for not putting your name on the application form? Say she forgot? It seems very harsh of them to cancel her interview because of it. Can you encourage them to reconsider?

Scarydinosaurs · 15/05/2016 22:07

You 100% did the right thing. She made the mistake, you have no obligation to cover for her. It was wrong of her to lie.

edwinbear · 15/05/2016 22:11

Why did she not declare it in the first instance? Presumably they don't refuse to hire people on the basis they know a current employee, but do refuse to hire someone who lied about it?

GloGirl · 15/05/2016 22:12

Nothing else you could do, you can't be responsible for her gaining or losing a job.

haveacupoftea · 15/05/2016 22:15

YANBU. You were being professional, she wasn't. She clearly isn't the ideal candidate if she is dishonest from stage 1.

TrixieBlue2016 · 15/05/2016 22:17

edwinbear it's the lying. The application form has a statement of fact that you sign.

Her DH is mad at my DH for telling me and for me telling my boss.

I don't know why she lied. She has texted me begging I do something to help her. But I can't.

OP posts:

grumpysquash3 · 15/05/2016 22:19

I think the problem here is that you happened to find out via DH's friend and DH, that DH's friend's DW had an interview! It's quite convoluted.

In a different set of circumstances, she would just have turned up, it would have become obvious that you knew each other, & your managers would have known it was impossible for you to have recognised her from the anonymous application. It would have been her problem that she hadn't disclosed knowing you.

The bottom line is that you haven't done anything wrong, whereas she has.

Just out of interest, why is it such a big deal if you know someone in the workplace?

edwinbear · 15/05/2016 22:20

Her DH should be directing his anger at his DW for lying rather than at you and your DH.

chewingawasp · 15/05/2016 22:27

Try not to feel too bad about this. You did the right thing and unfortunately she didn't. If she had turned up at the interview the outcome presumably would have been the same.

Lou2711 · 15/05/2016 22:32

It's her own fault, she knows you work there and decided to lie. You were only protecting your own job by being honest. Don't feel guilty, it wouldn't have been difficult for her to admit she knew someone there. Her DH has no right to be mad, he shouldn't have mentioned it

Salmotrutta · 15/05/2016 22:32

grumpy makes a good point - even if you didn't know before the interview it would have been pretty obvious when she turned up that you knew her!

This situation is of her own making and you have nothing to feel bad about

TrixieBlue2016 · 15/05/2016 22:53

grumpy they don't care if you know someone. It's a test of honesty. I knew my boss before I started. He didn't interview me because of this.

DH and I have had to turn off our phones as they both are calling us. I wish her DH hadn't said anything surely he must have known that DH would tell me.

Why did she have to lie? She would have had to make a conscious decision to check no rather than just say she knew me.

OP posts:

VimFuego101 · 15/05/2016 22:56

YANBU - why would she not have just said something? She should have owned up when they called her, it would be fair enough for her to say 'yes, after speaking with my husband he reminded me that X works there' and I'm sure they would have accepted that.

nooka · 15/05/2016 23:05

She knows you well enough to have a meal at your house, so not a casual acquaintance. Just think how embarrassing it would have been if the couple had stayed quiet about the interview, and the OP had been on the interview panel. The outcome would have been the same, a completely unnecessary lie showing a lack of honesty = no job offer. Knowing someone at the organisation isn't some sort of black mark , so why she lied about it is beyond me, really stupid.

CurlyBlueberry · 15/05/2016 23:21

YANBU - it's not your fault. It seems a bit of a funny question though. I mean maybe she thought "ah well I don't know Trixie that well, just my husband is friends with hers". Like where is the line drawn? (If she's actually YOUR friend, then that's more obvious, but clearly there are shades of grey. I can think of a few instances where I wouldn't really know my husband's friend's wife/girlfriend, only well enough to say hi to but I wouldn't know where they work.)

FishWithABicycle · 15/05/2016 23:35

I don't think you were at all unreasonable. If you had kept quiet and DW had got the job it would have been corruption. If she had been honest right from the start she might have been in with a chance of getting the job. That she hasn't got the job and you have been honest with your employers is the best outcome all around.

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 15/05/2016 23:44

She lied on the form and over the phone. You may have mentioned in passing to your boss that she was interviewing for a job. You weren't necessarily to know that she had lied about knowing you.

Such a stupid thing to do. If she had shown up at an interview and you were in the panel, you'd have had to tell someone that you knew her and she's be in trouble. If you weren't in the panel and she got the job, someone would have found out you knew her previously and she'd be sacked for lying anyway.

RB68 · 15/05/2016 23:46

the question is asked to avoid just this situation. You did the right thing, she didn't. Its completely in her court - she was even given a second chance to say and didn't - sorry but why would you do that???

Damselindestress · 16/05/2016 02:21

She should have declared it. I don't think it would have disqualified her, they would just have made sure you didn't interview her. But lying about it makes her look dishonest, not an appealing quality in a prospective employee. When you realised that you knew her, you had to say something or risk looking dodgy too. She put you in an awkward position for no reason.

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 16/05/2016 07:14

Yadnbu

I'm surprised she didn't get the hint that they were calling her to ask! Surely that was the time to say "oh yes I'm sorry my DH reminded me that OP works there, I'd completely forgotten!"

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BikeRunSki · 16/05/2016 07:36

She was dishonest on her application form, now she is seeing the impact of that. Silly mare. The rest of the interview panel would have realised you knew each other at interview anyway.

I understand that the issue around declaring if you know anyone in an organisation on an application form, is so that friends/relations are not involved in the recruitment of friends/relations, and being potentially biased.

sooperdooper · 16/05/2016 07:45

Yanbu, why on earth did she lie? Fair enough she might've forgotten where you work when she filled in the form (I don't know where all my DHs friends partners work!) but once she realised and they rang to check she shouldve just said!

Surely then they'd have just got someone else to interview her? But she's proved herself to be a liar so it's her own fault they cancelled the interview - what an odd thing to do!

Has she said why she lied about it? Did she think you'd just give her a job because you knew her and nobody would know you already knew each other??

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 16/05/2016 07:53

Was she hoping you would be part of the panel and wouldn't say you knew her, so she only had two people to win over?

If she didn't suspect you'd be involved in interviewing at all, I can't understand why she'd lie twice. Knowing you would be almost irrelevant if you were to have no role in hiring her.

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