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AIBU?

to be unsure of how best to help DSis?

4 replies

FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 05/05/2016 23:03

My DSis recently confided that she is struggling at the moment with anxiety. She says she doesn't feel depressed and doesn't want to take AD's.

Thing is, I really don't know much about anxiety and how best to help her. I'm worried that the things I suggest that I think will help will actually do the opposite.

Aibu to want to help but just not know how?

For example, she said that she is finding it difficult getting the bus to work, that she dreads it and it gets her whole day off to a bad start. I suggested that she phone me when she's on the bus so she has someone to talk to on the journey and distract her from how she was feeling. She said that actually, that might make it worse! Aibu to try and help even if I know nothing about anxiety and, indadvertedly might make things worse Confused

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AerithEarthling · 06/05/2016 01:10

I have aniexy and can only drive everywhere. Is there anyway you can take her or go along with her?
Feeling anxious it makes you feel like everyone is watching you and feeling uncomfortable and nervous.

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BeALert · 06/05/2016 02:52

Aibu to try and help even if I know nothing about anxiety and, indadvertedly might make things worse

You sound lovely. I think it's more important to try to help than to get things right every time. Keep talking and listening.

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yorkshapudding · 06/05/2016 07:18

Look into whether there is an IAPT (improving access to psychological therapies) service in your area. They provide CBT for low mood and anxiety. Your sister will be able to self-refer to them over the phone or her GP can refer her. Their waiting lists vary depending on where you are but in my area they're pretty good.

Many people find adult colouring books great for relieving stress and anxiety and the Mental Health Foundation have some great relaxation podcasts on their website that she could listen to on the bus.

The book 'Change your Thinking with CBT' might be useful (you can find it on Amazon) and I know a lot of people who recommend 'Mindfulness for Dummies' as a really good introduction to basic mindfulness-based anxiety management techniques.

It can be stressful supporting a relative who suffers from Anxiety. The websites for charities like Rethink and Mind have some great factsheets that explain various mental health conditions and give practical advice for carers and relatives, definitely worth having a look at their info on Anxiety.

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FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname · 06/05/2016 08:16

Thanks for the ideas, I have actually suggested CBT and she seemed quite open to that so I'll look it up!

Aerith unfortunately neither of us drive yet and she lives a few miles from me so it wouldn't be possible for me to go with her at the moment. If I had my full bike license (which I hopefully will soon) then I would gladly take her but she doesn't seem too keen on going on the back of a bike.

I actually think the not driving is a big issue for her - we live in a fairly rural area (one bus or train once an hour kind of place) and I think she feels very isolated because she has no transport of her own and is totally reliant on public transport or other people to take her places.

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