AIBU to grieve the loss of my child in this way?

LostAndCantBeFound · 2016-04-18 20:00:54

Hi I have known of Mumsnet for ages and just when I was about to sign up and join in, my life changed massively. My beautiful son was taken from me and life was ever so difficult. I would like to keep this quite short, so sorry for the lack of info. However, I now do stupid stuff, it's pathetic really, but in a way, it does help. I will go onto all the shops online and do a whole order of clothes, all different age groups, for little boys, I'll purchase them and then I'll just send them back... It's the same with instore clothes. I sign him up for clubs he'll never go to and when it gets to the day of going, I pretend that we have found somewhere else. I actually go to open days of schools and take a look around, I have been to secondary schools too. It is so ridiculous, but I just cannot help it... AIBU to do such a stupid thing??? I know it is stupid, but I don't know.

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AIBU?

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