to keep asking for a break

[thomasmonkeymum]

I'm a mum of 2dc, I think in the last month I've asked nearly everyone who could to watch dc.

Only 2 will well 1 now as they wont watch dc again as he played up. The other makes me feel so guilty for asking.

Dc1 is hard work so much so we're even waiting to hear if ss can help us (self referral ).

I'm living on no sleep most of the time and it's really affecting me sometimes I think the dc hate me and so does dp and that no one really give cares on how it's affecting everything. I do feel really useless that I can't control my own child's behaviours.

Aibu to ask I probably sound like a broken record to our families.

[ExtraBlessings]

No YANBU. It sounds as though things have got reallyhard and you are exhausted.

Could your DP have the kids to give you a rest sometimes? Have you told the peple who help you out how much you are struggling and do appreciate it? I think in their shoes I'd certainly try to help someone if I knew they were straggling.

It might be helpful to speak to your GP and the children's health visitor as they may be able tomake suggestions or refer you to other agencies to help you find support.

You haven't mentioned money, is paid childcare an option? Even the odd morning off could give you a chance to get some rest.

All the best .

[Creampastry]

Where's your dp in all this?

[HackerFucker22]

Urm why doesn't your DP watch the kids?

I have never had to ask anyone to take the kids off my hands and God knows I get to the stage of needing a break frequently - kids are hard work so I just hand them over to DP and go out / have a bath / have a nap...

[Runningupthathill82]

I'm wondering where your DP is in this?

I don't have anyone around to watch my DC other than DH, which is why he has them on his own for an hour or so most days, so I can go to the gym or go out for a run.

Can your DP not do similar?

[thomasmonkeymum]

Dp works a lot, he's struggling to.
I do sometimes try and nap but dc1 comes and finds me so I'm not allowed to sleep.

We couldn't afford paid childcare, dc1 goes to nursery but it's still the holidays here which is getting to us all abs causing him to act up more as he can't handle the change in the routine.

[NerrSnerr]

Could you take it in turns on your partner's days off? The first day he takes the children out of a few hours so you can nap/ put your feet up and the next day you do the same?

[PheasantPluckerToADegree]

Some nurseries run a holiday club which is worth looking into, even if it's just for the odd day so you can catch your breath. Also, as a pp suggested it is worth speaking to your health visitor/gp as you may be entitled to some extra help or funding for respite. After going through the ringer getting my child referred to the CDC, we have discovered all sorts of things we can get to help (respite care, funding for holiday breaks, help at nursery/school) so it's always worth asking. On tough days where you're stuck at home I have found it helps to set up a visual timetable for them so they know what's coming up (helps with lack of routine) and failing that we resort to a tag-team approach -my DH will step in when I'm finding it tough to keep things together, and then vice versa. Hope that helps. Hang in there OP - lack of sleep makes things seem so much worse but it will get better.

[thomasmonkeymum]

Pheasant thanks we've referred ourselves to ss for respite, dc1s ot told us to as she's out of ideas.

Normally he'd be in over the holidays but they are preparing him for the school holidays as he will be transitioning him from nursery to a special school.
I'm really terrified as we've only had 1 out 2 weeks off and we will have 6 off in the summer.

Dp only has 1 day off a week and normally he's not in until the early hours the night before so that day is when we try to do as much together with the children.

I think we do need to look at our schedules as I feel I'm breaking down with the lack of sleep, I know something needs to change soon so we both get a proper rest as it's also affecting our relationship.