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AIBU?

To find FILs attitude to vegetables annoying?

20 replies

happysorts · 28/03/2016 17:32

I probably am. I find my inlaws hard work. I'm aware that I allow myself to be irritated by them over smallish things. They are old and they are good with dd, but my god they piss me off!
Dd is 2.6. She's going through a really awkward eating phase. She eats lots of fruit, but it's a massive struggle to get any veg into her. She won't eat any sloppy food so I can't hide vegetables in pasta sauces.

We were out for a family meal today and dd had peas with her meal (one of the few veg she'll eat). Dd was unusually happy about this and was starting to eat them when FIL said "ooh yucky peas. How disgusting. Little girls don't eat yucky vegetables like peas. They make you sick. Yuck yuck yuck." Dd started to join in. Pea eating then became a struggle.
Aibu to think that a grown man shouldn't be actively trying to put a toddler off healthy food? He got sulky when I asked him to stop.

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Gatehouse77 · 28/03/2016 17:46

Nope, I'd be annoyed.
One way I got mine to eat peas was to serve with mash - either mixed in so peas can't run away! Or, use a fork to 'plough' the mash then plant the seeds (peas)! You can also plant broccoli as trees.

I know some people won't agree and see this as playing with your food but meal times can be fun without descending into chaos.

NotAnotherNameChangeAgain · 28/03/2016 17:52

I agree that FIL sounds like he's being a wankbadger.

Disagree with Gatehouse's approach personally (sorry!) as in my experience that just leads kiddies into playing with their food and eating even less.

I've found that getting toddlers and older children to "help" prepare meals and choose their own veg (you can get flashcards which are quite cool) really goes a long way to getting them to eat things they wouldn't usually, as "they" made it.
A 2 year old, for example, can do some choosing and also help stir, turn on the oven etc etc. Even if its pointless stirring IYSWIM.

happysorts · 28/03/2016 18:14

Ooohh! Am I allowed to claim a unanimous victory with only two replies?
Thanks for your comments. She won't eat mash (too sloppy) so gatehouses idea is out. She used to happily eat grated courgette in omelette, so maybe I'll try and

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happysorts · 28/03/2016 18:16

Posted too soon...
Maybe I'll try and reintroduce that with her mixing it together.
I think this is my punishment for me being smug about what a good water she was a year ago.
I've 2 weeks off work now so I'm going to put maximum effort into fixing it.
Thanks again.

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AdrenalineFudge · 28/03/2016 18:18

I agree that Fil was being a twat about it, but how can mash be considered sloppy in the same way you described pasta sauces to be?

happysorts · 28/03/2016 18:22

Sloppy is probably the wrong word, but it's a texture that she won't eat. She wouldn't eat mash even in the good old days of not being fussy.

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AdrenalineFudge · 28/03/2016 18:27

Actually when I posted it occurred to me that you might have been using her descriptions and at 2.6 yo she's somewhat away from accurate or descriptive nuance

OnlyLovers · 28/03/2016 18:48

YANBU. Is HE the one who's two? 'yucky yucky' and sulking?

And it's more than annoying and childish; it's damaging to your daughter. Tell him to not speak to her about food in that way any more. Let him sulk, the idiot.

EastMidsMummy · 28/03/2016 19:05

I'm surprised Grandad isn't being praised. Fussy eating is often to be encouraged on Mumsnet...

happysorts · 28/03/2016 19:20

Yup adrenaline- Sloppy is one of her default words to describe food she doesn't like. It's either sloppy (anything wettish) or dirty (anything touching something she doesn't want it to touch).

FIL acts like a 2 year old even if Dd isn't there. I don't think he's ever told he's wrong.

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OnlyLovers · 28/03/2016 19:22

There's a first time for everything, OP.

clockbuscanada · 28/03/2016 19:27

Ugh. I feel your pain. FIL often boasts at mealtimes that a vegetable hasn't passed his lips in almost 70 years. No idea why that's something to be proud of (especially considering that long history of chronic heart disease began in his 30s) but I wish he wouldn't gloat about it in front of DD who idolises him.

Ilovenannyplum · 28/03/2016 19:56

DP is an extremely fussy eater and has done this with DSC before, "Eurgh, that's disgusting, eurgh why are you eating that?"

Drove me loopy, we now have a DS together and he gets a death stare if he so much as even attempts to say anything like that to him. I cannot and will not inflict another fussy eater on the world!

emopod · 28/03/2016 19:57

I totally understand the "sloppy" food thing, happy! My 3yo twins won't eat anything mashed, mushed or wet. No soup, stews, mashed potato or anything like that. Although oddly enough, they'll take fruit puree.

Basically, they need to be able to stick a fork through it in order to consider it for eating. It makes meal planning really difficult. I'm trying to get them into dipping things like tortilla chips or bread into stew or (mild) chilli. Not much success yet. Veggies also an issue. :(

Not much help - but it was kind of nice to see someone else with the same issue.

Also, I would have been enraged if anyone made a comment on food like your FIL did. You are so not BU.

Jenijena · 28/03/2016 19:59

YANBU. FIL is an idiot.

Sweet corn fritters? With added broccoli/peas/whatever?

80sMum · 28/03/2016 20:03

YANBU! What an idiotic thing for a grandparent to say to a child! What on earth was he thinking, I wonder? Trying to be funny, maybe? Massively backfired!

HelsBels3000 · 28/03/2016 20:19

Your FIL is a douche. YANBU in the slightest.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 28/03/2016 20:22

Do we have the same FIL?

My FIL spent ages at Christmas telling my son that baubles were not made of glass nowadays and they were all plastic. My DS didn't believe him so my FIL told him to take one off the tree and throw it on the wooden floor.

It smashed into a million sharp pieces of glass.

PastaPrincess · 28/03/2016 20:27

I'd be really angry if a family member did that to DS. He's two and a half and also great with fruit but iffy with veg. YANBU.

happysorts · 28/03/2016 21:14

Only -

That's what my FIL is like Clock! There are foods I don't like, so I don't eat them. Most people probably wouldn't notice. FIL has to spend half the meal going on about how he doesn't like them. I think he thinks he's being funny, 80smum, and maybe even clever
Emopod - sounds exactly like Dd! Fruit purées are out here though, but she will eat a soft boiled egg.
Lost - I can imagine my FIL saying that sort of thing. What is wrong with these people?!
Jeni- sweetcorn frittas might be acceptable! I'll give them a go

Thabks all. Good to hear that on this occasion I'm not just allowing previous annoyances to cloud my judgement.

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