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AIBU?

money missing no one owning up

13 replies

fuzzyhead143 · 29/02/2016 22:01

AIBU to ask if someone else's child has stolen my childs money. long story short two weeks ago on sat night i went out with friends and family to celebrate a new job. while out 4 children stayed at my house this is not the first time they have stayed at mine and with the eldest being 19 we have full trust in them.
well this time some money went missing i have counted and recounted but 30 pound is missing from my sons piggy bank.
i'm completely gutted. one of the children have admitted they were the only one in that part of the house but denied taking the money.
were do i go from from here without wrecking a 6 year friendship.
i want to drop it but friend will not leave it at all.. xx help please xx

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mummymeister · 29/02/2016 23:30

have you discussed this with your friend before your child then OP? if so that was a real breach of trust and you should never have done this imo.

speak to your son. tell him what you think has happened. then sit down with the family and talk about.

please don't go around accusing anyone until you are absolutely 100% certain that this money is definitely missing and hasn't been spent by your child and then forgotten.

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cuntycowfacemonkey · 29/02/2016 23:38

Have you actually asked your friends child? How old is the one you think took it?

To be honest without absolute proof I wouldn't have asked

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fuzzyhead143 · 01/03/2016 00:09

it was not my child he was in bed asleep. no i didn't accuse anyone the dc regularly leave things at each others house and do toy swaps we always ask each other if we have seen some misplaced item..
like her youngest son lost his ds my friend rang and asked if we had seen it . so i did the same with her just asked if any had seen any money about because some had been misplaced and she immediately asked the 19 year old where it was and then asked the younger dc.
19 year old said they were they only one in the room but did not take any money.
i personally want too drop it and move on so as not to cause an issue but she is adamant the 19 yr old took it and wont leave it until they have admitted it. but i told he it must of just been lost and that i have replaced it anyway.
we still meet all the time and seem to still be good friends but she has banned the 19 yo from my house when i said that it is not necessary as i don't believe any one should be blamed with no proof xx

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fuzzyhead143 · 01/03/2016 00:12

because she is adamant the the 19 yo took i don't know whether i should just ask them myself as friend is doubting her own child.
i would never just ask but i have been asked to i dont want them to think im accusing but she wont leave it x

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MyKingdomForBrie · 01/03/2016 00:19

Stay out of it. Sounds like she knows her 19 yr old has form. Either way I would just continue the friendship as normal, leave the decisions on how to deal with it to her and make sure the piggy bank and any other cash are well hidden next time there's unsupervised kids/teens.

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fuzzyhead143 · 01/03/2016 00:25

my sonwould not of spent it he does not leave the house without me and he was in bed asleep before i left.
it wasnt hidden but it was in a room that should not of been entered as it is my husbands workshop for all his carpentry tools and the door has a lock at the top.
ive tried staying out of it but she keeps saying that she thinks hes about too spill its like a soap opera for her xx

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OzzieFem · 01/03/2016 03:01

Regardless of whether your son does not leave the house without you, then I would still ask him about the money. He may have taken it into school for some reason. Do you have a partner who may have borrowed it?

Either way why are you counting how much money your son has in his piggy bank? My mother would never have dreamed of doing this.

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LifeofI · 01/03/2016 03:10

i think it seems like you know the 19yr old took it.
Im sorry about this op, its very hurtful when you trust someone in your home and they abuse it like this. I wouldnt let the 19yr old in again tbh or when he is tell your child to hide his money

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goddessofsmallthings · 01/03/2016 03:30

The 'child', or rather the 19yo, who has admitted being in a part of the house they clearly had no need to enter would seem to be the most likely culprit but, other than dusting the piggy bank for prints, there's no proof that they stole the money and it could equally have been one of the others who were present that night while you were out.

I suggest you continue as you have been doing, remind your friend from time to time that the matter is no longer of any consequence to you, and be sure to lock cash and any valuables such as jewellery and small trinkets away in a secure place before leaving any teenagers or other parties in charge of your dc when you go out again.

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fuzzyhead143 · 01/03/2016 10:28

i counted it ready to bank it as the piggy bank was full it was little less then 100 pound so i was waiting until i had the other 3 pound before i banked it. this is a saving tin we fill for for him than bank when its full.
i doubt he took it to school he is only 6 and i walk him to his class everyday.
i did ask my little boy but he knows nothing he can't reach it either.
my friend now wants me to sit with her 19 yo and question them. i will not question them i just want to leave it but she wont give up xx

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cuntycowfacemonkey · 01/03/2016 12:54

Ahh Ok so it's your friend that is certain it was her 19 year old. It sounds like missing money might be an issue in their house most parents would er on the side of "my child wouldn't steal"

My son was questioned about some missing money at my SIL's house when he was 6 as he was in the room where it was. Turned out the teenager of the house had "borrowed" it without mentioning it. Was a tad pissed off they didn't think to ask her before they made me question ds.

I wouldn't question her son but I am always surprised by how many people leave large amounts of cash within sight and taking distance of children.

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TheNoodlesIncident · 01/03/2016 13:47

If your friend is convinced her DS took it and won't drop the subject, why doesn't she pay you back the money and take it up with her DS, leaving you out of it?

It's clearly making you uncomfortable.

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fuzzyhead143 · 01/03/2016 16:33

it has made me feel awful i would of never expected my friend to carry it on.
i have told her today that with the lack of proof i want to here no more on the subject.. she has agreed to try to stop going on about it.
They have said without a doubt they will repay me but i have seen my friend several times since and nothing so im not going to pursue it, it would feel like i have blamed someone if i accepted the money back anyway xx