To think that "wanting the best" for your child doesn't necessarily mean spending the most money? (aka CallaLilli's brass-necked colleague rides again!)

[CallaLilli]

So Ms Brass Neck started speaking to me again today, purely to tell me she'd just purchased a £400 high chair for her yet-to-be-born child. I said "oh really?" and she asked me what I did when DD was weaned. I told her I spent a tenner on a second-hand chair from Gumtree, to which her response was to wrinkle her nose and say "Second-hand? Well I only want the best for my child" and walked off! She's the gift that keeps on giving, isn't she?

I guess I'm still being "punished" for refusing to bring back almost the entire contents of a French parapharmacie for her next month. Oh well, I'm sure I'll survive, although since when did buying second-hand mean you weren't "wanting the best" for your child?

[redshoeblueshoe]

Google the most expensive high chair/equipment, baby classes etc and tell her you are buying/doing all of that.
Or maybe soooo rude to her that she won't talk to you

[CallaLilli]

And the irony that she's spent £400 on a high chair but wanted me to lug back a stack of things for her as she's too tight to pay the 6-10 euro delivery to the UK fee!

[AlpacaLypse]

Ooo she really is wonderful! Keep'em coming CallaLilli!

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Meh, your Secondhand-tenner comment was seems a deliberate one that you knew you'd get a reaction from. So, tbh, both as bad as each other.

[NeedACleverNN]

I once had someone ask me what nappies my dd was in.

When I said mamia they actually pulled a disgusted face and said well we only buy the best for our daughter. Pampers all the way.

I just nodded and smiled and walked off. Then laughed two years later when they had their second child and both kids were in mamia.

[CallaLilli]

A few months ago a colleague got engaged and Ms Brass Neck commented (fortunately not to the woman in question) that the engagement ring didn't look expensive enough. Apparently a man has to spend 3 months salary on one!

[TooMuchOfEverything]

Hahaha just read the holiday shopping thread. Priceless.

However I do have a shopping requirement, well a recommendation for you - when you go to France, buy some Haribo Dragibus Bi-Cool sweets. They are LOVELY.

[CallaLilli]

Funnily enough Need, she asked me if I'd tried the Pampers subscription service from Amazon and was horrified to hear I buy nappies from Asda and Aldi. Apparently her DP "doesn't do Asda".

[NeedACleverNN]

I think anyone spending £20 a week on nappies is a fool tbh. They have a wee and a poo and it's in the bin.

We use sainsburys now instead of mamia as we have found the quality better but it's still only £4 a pack and that lasts me a good two weeks if not that bit more

[patterkiller]

My mil was horrified that I was keeping dd1s clothes for dd2. Both born in the summer and imo wold have been crackers to do anything other.
Mil thought that FIL working two jobs and never seeing his children was far preferable to her sons wearing hand me downs.

[DropYourSword]

Virtually everything I have for my first baby has either been gifted to me secondhand or bought secondhand from gumtree. Doesn't mean I'll love my baby less, just means I live within my means! After the first time you use something it's technically second hand anyway!

I think it's a bit sad for people to be so preoccupied with materialistic opinions like this. Your colleague would be disgusted at how little my engagement/wedding ring cost, much closer to 3 hours salary than 3 months! And my shoestring wedding. Doesn't bear any reflection on my happiness or the strength of my marriage (or how much I love my ring and the memories attached to it!).

[AnthonyPandy]

The next item you purchase, could you say you got it out of someone's skip? Embellish it a bit, you had to do it in the dark etc...

[fuzzpig]

Ooh, she sounds like a right treat, in the entertaining thread sense :o

[KeyserSophie]

People are just dumb and don't stop to think that if they put the £390 quid they saved on a highchair in an equity ISA now, the kid would have a college fund in 18 years. That said, there's obviously a middle ground, but unless you're Michael Bloomberg, most investments are on an "either/or" basis.

[BillSykesDog]

£400 on a high chair? Hahaha what a mug. PFB I'm guessing.

[realhousewifeoffitzrovia]

Another reason for second-hand: I have read that second-hand items are - by and large - healthier, because new items tend to emit more chemicals. Anyone who has unpackaged a new plastic item is probably familiar with the "new plastic" chemical smell.

[Lovepancakes]

I think £400 saved for something else is far better as the child never remembers the high chair not minds which uses at the time as long as it works! I was too precious with DC1 though and wasted money like this on a new Bugaboo, would now be far more likely to spend it on something the DC actually notice or save it.

[DrSeussRevived]

I assume she will be returning the preg/baby bits you gave her, as they are second hand?!?

[LastOneDancing]

That's interesting realhousewife

I got the rage with our £100 highchair (fool!) and bought a £12 antelop from Ikea which was 100x better.
I also got a second hand rocker that was originally £120 - it was total crap.

She's wasting her money.

[LoveBoursin]

The thing is, I foiund that until I had actually tried said high chair/pushchaair etc I had no idea how it would be used or how good it would be.
I bought lots of unuseful stuff dor dc1 but not with dc2.

Having said that at her reaction to second hand stuff and shopping at Asda....

[Chocolatteaddict1]

I have a family member like like this. What you have to do is play them at their own game and it works.

Eg ... You - oooh lets see a pic of this high chair then" when she shows it you screw your face up and say 'oh that's not for me - I prefer a more colourful one/traditional one ect....

what ever she tells you about be very rude about it "oh that's not for me, oh I think that's ugly, oh I had one of those when I was a kid..."

OR another good one is just laughing at in pity or disbelief when they are really rude with a tilt of the head.

folk like this can not cope when it's done back to them and in my experience it's always stopped.

Cheeky mare!

[DrSeussRevived]

Everyone gets an Antilop in the end, even if it's a spare for granny!

[fluffypenguinbelly]

Is this going to be one of those threads where everyone competes to have spent the least on their child?

"Well my child had clothes 50th hand worn by 49 children before. I used a high chair from the 1970's that cost 7p from a jumble sale. I used leaves foraged from the forest instead of nappies..."

Who cares who spends what on stuff. It's their money.

[OnlyLovers]

YANBU, obviously.

But I don't know why you bothered speaking to her, TBH, after this childish silent sulking she's been dishing out to you.

[HeteronormativeHaybales]

We bought Tripp Trapps for ours (one new on offer, one second-hand) but got years and years of use out of them as the dc are small for their ages - and now we've had a third after a big gap. We got strollers and slings (lots of use) new but prams (v costly new and not so heavily used for us) passed on or second-hand.

And I love putting dd in the baby clothes her brothers wore :)

Equating 'new' with 'best' is quite insecure.