DD1 is 19 now! I am booked for a hysterectomy next month due to having a 'bulky' womb and a prolapse. I am 44 but I guess I always thought that there was a chance it could happen, and DD would have been over the moon even with the big age gap. I actually don't want another child for me as I am too old, the sleep deprivation of the last one (now 5) almost broke me!
DD2 died shortly after birth when DD1 was 4. She had sorted though all her toys and clothes to share and was so excited to have a baby sister. I can sometimes get flashes of how DD2 would look now and how they would have played around with makeup and doing each other's hair and fought alot. I feel jealous when I see women with two daughters.
After DD2's death, I went onto have 3 boys. DD was not impressed and although she loves her brothers deep down, I have been filled with guilt for years that she lost her sister and she has in her teenage angst said some awful things like it was my fault (she has apologised many times now she is coming out of alien creature mode and into mature adult ).
She is the type of girl who would have been in her element with a sister, very girly. I had hoped that DS3 would be a girl and was slightly devastated for a few weeks when I found out he wasn't at 16 weeks but got over that quickly.
I am now filled with this terrible sadness that obviously there is no chance that another girl will ever happen now and feel terrible guilt that DD has 'missed out'.
I have 4 sisters and have never been close with any of them but that was due to how we were brought up (very dysfunctional family) and I suppose I wanted DD to have what I didn't have.
AIBU?
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AIBU?
to find it hard to accept that DD will never have a sister?
26 replies
StuckInARabbitHole · 15/01/2016 10:25
OP posts:
VocationalGoat ·
15/01/2016 11:24
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