Bit of background - my friend has been in a relationship for over 15 years and has two DC. There have been problems pretty much the whole duration. Her partner is difficult at best, emotionally abusive at worst and it has been getting worse. I have tried to support her through all the ups and down and listened to her be unhappy for so long but supported her when she tried to make it work. She has finally decide to leave him but he resisted and emotional abuse to her and DC has been increasing and she felt suicidal but had no energy to sort things out. So I decided to step up support. I called her brother who lives in another country to ask him to give her support so she would not feel alone. I helped her get a lawyer and went with her to see the lawyer and tried to do as much research to help her get out of it as best possible as she was settling for less than she was entitled to. Her husband was refusing to sign the divorce papers and was not wanting to give her a fair share of their assets. Lawyer advised her to ensure she got what she was entitled to as she would need to house herself and her husband and not end up in a situation where he had a house plus assets and she could not even get a place over her head. Her partner had been telling her she was destroying her children's lives making her feel bad so she not want to demand more. I was desperate for her not to end with too little to live for and end in poverty and have to rely on his whim and power games for any longer but she was not listening to me or lawyer. So called brother again and asked him to help drum some sense into her head. I saw her after this and did not mention to her. But her brother told her so she came to see me a few days ago and was furious saying I betrayed her by talking about her behind her back, keeping secrets and she could not trust me anymore. She was so mad it was more her yelling and not listening to my side of things when I tried to explain that I felt it was the right thing to do for her she walked out. I have known her for 24 years and we are in London without our families so are very close. I see her as a sister and godmother to her child. Emotional abuse and being depressed have become very normal for her but I felt I had to do anything I could to help it stop once and for all. I do feel she is diverting her emotions into anger towards me. My grandmother just died and I have to deal with funeral next week plus been a bit down physically and emotionally the last few weeks so I can't quite figure out if it was really that terrible of me to call her brother and should feel bad about that?
Sorry for long post.
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AIBU?
to think my friend is being unreasonable? Or am I?
20 replies
tickledpinker · 30/12/2015 00:29
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