To ask DF to babysit

[29herzie]

I'm currently 39+5 with DC2 and thoroughly fed up mwith my DF. I have struggled to find child care for DD1 (2) for when I go into labour as I have no local family and even family further away have been having lots of health problems etc. I have agreed though, that my DD1 will go to her childminder in the first instance until back up from out of town can arrive. I thought I had arranged this with DF (who lives about a 2.5 hour drive away but is much more physically able that MIL who is 82 and frail and lives a similar distance away). Now though he is saying that he is planning to go on holiday next week! ( he only got back from his last trip on Saturday!) He seems to have forgotten the arrangement and when I called him yesterday he just said he just assumed DH would be looking after DD1 while I have the baby. AIBU to think that he should prioritise the birth of his grandchild over a weeks hill walking in Wales?

My alternatives are now my frail 82 year old MIL who can't lift DD1 or carry her upstairs... A partially sighted aunt with a broken wrist or my DSis who lives 6 hours away, works full time, has 2 young DCs and is moving house.. Or flying a friend ( who is having serious MH issues) over from Germany - who DD1 hardly knows...( all of whom have said they would like to be able to help.). Or of course DH staying home with DD1 and leaving me to get on with it like DF has suggested.

Of course the birth may be quick and straight forward but after a failed induction, EMCS and week in SCBU last time I feel the need to have plans in place.

[DoJo]

YANBU to be annoyed, but there's not much else you can do if he is determined to go. Would the child-minder be able to take on more than you have currently arranged? I would imagine that the maximum would be one overnight stay for you actually in labour, and then she and your husband could juggle it between them if you need to stay in any longer.
It is crap of your dad though - we have plenty of help and I'm still worried about having to leave my son, so I can't imagine how much harder it must be to have this on your plate.

[summerainbow]

I would go childminder babysitter freinds route forget about family

[29herzie]

Thanks for your suggestions but I realise I forgot to say that my childminder is going away in a week and although her DP has agreed to babysit in an emergency I can't ask him to keep her longer term... Very awkward timings!

[ConstanceMarkYaBitch]

Thats what friends are for. Ask one of them.

[QueenArseClangers]

Bloody hell! You've a right to be miffed.
Have you thought about hiring a doula? She could either be a birth partner or be with your DC?

[BrieAndChilli]

Home birth
One of Dds friends mums
Neighbour

[DustyCropHopper]

Do you have friends locally or friendly with neighbours who could look after your dd while you give birth? I know I would willingly have a friend's child in these circumstances.

[miaowroar]

How selfish of him - sometimes I think people don't deserve grandchildren.

I am sorry I have no suggestions - but I wouldn't be in a hurry to invite him over to visit new baby - but then I am such a sulk!