to be angry with my manager?

[MagicDucky]

So, here goes.

I've recently been signed off work recently for two weeks with work related stress. I don't think it was entirely work related, my DD was a bit unwell too (which is VERY unlike her) but mostly work related.

The reasons at work are a long story for another thread, but the only people at work whom I told about the stress was my manager and my best friend. She has pled ignorance to everything be who asks about me saying she thinks DD is unwell. Which I'm thankful for.

However I've now found out that most of the staff know it's stress and have heard what's written on my sick line.

The only place that could come from is management. Surely there's something in the data protection act which prohibits this kind of behaviour.

I know it seems like a petty thing to be upset over but now I'm even more nervous and worried about going back. I'm crying at the thought of it. I feel like such a failure.

I'm sorry this is so long. I just don't know where else to vent.

[WhoseBadgerIsThis]

Nothing useful to add unfortunately, but a big hug as that is truly shit of your manager.

[Fizrim]

I would be wary of blaming anyone until you know what has happened. You may (quite understandably!) have been showing signs of stress before you went off and someone has simply guessed at the reason for your absence.

As you have been signed off with work-related stress (and I'm assuming that is written on your sick note) then they may be in touch before you return as they should be looking to reduce your stress on your return.

I hope it is sorted out. I understand it is upsetting, when are you due back? And I hope your DD is getting better too.

[MagicDucky]

Fizrum, I know what you mean, but when a colleague said to my TL she had spoken to me and heard it was because DD was unwell my TL replied with "Well that's not what it says in her sick note"

[Blondie1984]

You MUST NOT regard yourself as a failure as that is absolutely not the case and I very much doubt anyone else will be thinking that of you - so many people go through this sort of difficulty but up until recently it has been brushed under the carpet - you aren't alone at all - and projecting your thoughts on to what you think your colleagues might be thinking is not going to help you -I'm sure they are all just hoping you get the support you need to work through the difficulties. So please, be gently on yourself

[MagicDucky]

I'm due back on Thursday although DP just came in to find me crying over this (I know I'm being silly I feel very childish.) and wants me to go and get signed off a bit longer.

Yes! Thankfully she is much much better now! Just need to fix me, she's been doing a good job of that!

[RJnomaaaaaargh]

It's out of order,

But as a manager I would want my gran to know you might need a little more support than usual when you got back.

[PoppyPopTart]

I'd be annoyed too OP. I left work due to MH problems and when I handed in my notice I found out my manager had been having a little chat to my supervisor about it. They were discussing my 'problems' and didn't think I really wanted to leave work, that my head wasn't in the right place and I was just making a hasty decision that wasn't the best one for me My supervisor let slip they had been talking and then when I had challenged her as to what she was talking about and how did she know the reasons for my leaving, she stumbled her way through what had been discussed. I was fuming. How dare they talk about this and decide I was making the wrong decision That's for me to decide!

[MagicDucky]

Poppy that would make me so mad! It's a rude and nasty thing to do! It has nothing to do with anyone else. I'm sure they thought the were being kind though, and said with the best intentions.

[PoppyPopTart]

Tbh I felt she had betrayed my trust as she assured me the only other people she was obliged to tell were the deputy manager and the owner, and would leave it completely up to me to tell anyone else if I wished. She was only worried about the impact it would have on the company

[PoppyPopTart]

Oops sorry magic completely making your thread about me!

scuttles out of thread

[Viviennemary]

Itr's not uncommon for managers or other staff to say what is written on a person's sick note. Oh so and so is off with this that or the other. I don't think they realise this is confidential information. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have a sick note and have been off sick for two weeks. That's not very long. I think the rest of the staff will probably be quite sympathetic as most of them will have been through diffcult times themselves.

[MagicDucky]

I hope so! Thanks Vivienne! I just feel it is unprofessional. Fair enough if it was a broken bone but this is something a bit more personal.

[TiredButFineODFOJ]

It's unprofessional, yes. However a lot of people do seem to think that if their child is sick then they are off sick, so to be fair I think I would say your manager would be within their rights to say that you yourself were signed off sick- but not give the details of what you are off with.
Whenever I'm asked why someone is off sick, I always ask "if you were having lazer treatment for piles, would you want me to tell everyone?" That usually shuts people up, some things need to stay private.
Isn't it funny how we the employees feel shame for becoming ill with stress from work, but employers don't feel at all mortified for creating the situation?