AIBU to put toddler back in nappies?

[sunshinesue]

We've been potty training DS (2yrs9mths) for about 4 weeks. He's brilliant with wees, virtually no accidents, happy to tell me when he needs to go, will go on the potty at home or loo whilst out etc. Poos are a different matter, he will not go in the potty, he gets upset and holds it until he can't keep it in anymore then poos on the floor or in his pants. He gets very upset at making a mess and I'm getting sick of clearing up poo. Today after two dumps on the carpet in ten minutes I've put him back in nappies which was upsetting for us both.

I feel terrible, I don't want him to feel as though he's being punished. I've made it clear it's OK to be in nappies and we'll try "big boy pants" again soon but he's really upset to be back in nappies. It just seems such a shame as he's dry (even at night) but he's clearly not ready to poo in the potty. I've asked him about it and he says he just doesn't want to poo at all.

Am I over thinking and just try it again when he's ready or should I have sucked it up and kept going?

[Aeroflotgirl]

No don't do that, poos often take longer to manage. Be calm and matter of fact, mabey get him to remove his clothes, help clean up.

[Fresh01]

My DS found it hard to learn to poo on toilet (he skipped the potty as he preferred the toilet). He would go in his pants! We worked out he wasn't sitting for long enough to relax enough to go. He also preferred us not to be in the room with him when he was going. Too much pressure of us watching.

So we made it a routine. Every day after lunch he went and sat on the toilet for a couple of episodes of fireman Sam on you tube on the iPad. Within a few days he had gone in the toilet and got rewarded with praise and chocolate. Within a week the chocolate bribe wasn't required and within a few weeks fireman Sam wasn't even needed.

With DC4, she preferred me to sit on a stool next her and read books! She still looks at the books but I don't need to be there with her anymore, just to go when "help to wipe is called"
It is a slow frustrating process and each one does it differently.

[maggieryan]

Seriously don't go back. Boys seem to have this problem more than girls. My son was 4 and had this problem until I got told this technique and it worked. You tell him he can do his poo in his pants BUT he has to tell you and he can only do it on the bathroom. I did this for about 3 or 4 days, then tell him he can ONLY do it sitting on the toilet (with his pants) on and again he only had to do it for about two days and that was it. Following day he sat on toilet and did it properly. It's like they have a fear of letting it leave their body. When I got told this technique I thought no way would it work but it did. I told a friend and it worked for her too.

[mumeeee]

Don't put him back in nappies. He sounds as if he has done well so far. Poos often take a bit longer to manage. Just keep on going he will get there.

[SnozzberryPie]

Could you ask him to tell you when he needs a poo and you put a nappy on him just then?
Or pull ups so he can take them off himself to use the potty for wees?

[goblinhat]

I too would suggest the toilet rather than the potty.
And some privacy.
Leave the bathroom door ajar and busy yourself nearby but out of the toilet.

[PrinceHansOfTheTescoAisles]

Ahh this is so hard. Ds was the same and it took about six months to get sorted. Such a hard time. But I agree with pps...don't put him back in nappies if he's doing well with wees. Maybe just bulk buy pants and give yourself permission to throw them away if they're pooed in?

[HolyDrinker]

We had a similar situation. We really upped his fluid and fibre intake so he couldn't physically hold on to it for very long anymore. We also used the iPad as a trick to get him sitting for long enough, at a set time in the day. We also didn't allow iPad at any other time, so he ended up begging to do a poo! He's regular as clockwork now.

[SoThisIsSummer]

according to these so called super nanny people dc who still do poo's on the floor are NOT READY.

forget about it all and put nappies back on.

its hard to get perspective when in it, but each child comes to this differently.

when a child has got it - you hardly even know they have or are being trained.

so put nappies on and forget for a month.
in the long term you do more damage trying to persist than not.

[Inim]

pull ups maybe?

[Aeroflotgirl]

No do not put him back in nappies, he is doing well with wee, and is upset with being in a nappy, this could well put back toilet training. Just be patient and relaxed and follow some of the suggestions on here.

[DisappointedOne]

Toddlers often think that poo is part of them and are scared about letting it out. Laying a nappy in the potty can help. The no cry potty training solution is good for explaining why things happen and ways to deal with them.

[BarbarianMum]

My nephew was dry in the day from 2.5 but insisted on putting on a nappy to poo until age 4. At you ds' age id try getting him to ask fir a nappy when he needs a poo. This seems to be a fairly common intermediate stage. With dn they'd take him to the bathroom put the nappy on, he'd use it, get cleaned up, wash hands etc then carry on. So not exactly potty trained but not having accidents either.

[sunshinesue]

Thanks everyone, some great suggestions here. Cross your fingers for us please!