To think they shouldn't do this

[nocabbageinmyeye]

We live in a cul de sac, well it's more of a large square with no through way and a small (very small) green area in the centre of about 25 houses (several of these cul de sacs make up one big estate) the road circles the green area and all the neighbourhood kids play around this area, there are no paths so they are on the road too but as it just generally just residents it is usually safe and I have no worries about dd1 playing there.

My aibu is, there are new neighbours with a 3ish year old, when the drive into the estate they pull over, take their ds out of his seat and let him drive the car on his dads lap, obvs the dad is driving but the ds has the wheel, there are no adult hands on the wheel. Yes they go slow but still 10-15 km so not that slow considering and they do it when all the kids are out playing. They have to turn off the main road, left around a corner by a green where the kids play. I know people did this when I was growing up 30 odd years ago, i don't know I just hadn't seen it been done in so long it kind of annoyed me. Aibu? It just seems so unsafe, maybe you'd have to see them do it and the estate to get it, there are absolutely no adult hands on the wheel it's like they talk him through it while working the pedals

[RockerMummy184]

I highly doubt a 3yo would be competent enough to steer a car around a housing estate with no help. Maybe what you can't see is (like on the odd occasion my son has done this) that daddy has hold of the steering wheel at the bottom while letting the little one think he's driving.
I think if you're concerned the children will be injured it would be more sensible for them to be told to stay on the green and not to play in the road where the cars are.

[nocabbageinmyeye]

I actually thought that too but i have just seen them again and definitely his hands aren't on the wheel, now the child is sitting on his lap so obviously his hands aren't at the ready I'm sure. The kids can't but be on the road to get to the green though. Liked they have just done it now, no kids around all at school so minimal risk, it's the doing it with 10-15 kids playing not so much the doing it as I say it was very common 30 odd years ago. Maybe you'd have to see the layout it's hard to descibe

[nocabbageinmyeye]

*Are at the ready

[NewLife4Me]

It sounds similar to where my mil lives, and YANBU.
Children should be able to play safely without some dim witted parent acting like a twat.
I'd report him tbh, what happens if something happens and the three year old is injured?

[ShadowLine]

Of course they shouldn't be doing this.

For starters, if the 3 yr old is "driving" a moving car, he can't possibly be safely belted into a car seat of any type, so they're breaking the law there, and endangering their DS if there's a collision, even if they are driving slowly. Plus the dad's control over the car will be impaired even if he is holding the wheel low down.

How can you be sure the dad isn't holding the wheel at the very bottom?

Agree the children should be told not to play on the road though. Even without this neighbour, you still might get other cars driving in the cul-de-sac too fast or something.

[LadySheherazade]

How on earth would you know if the parent's hands are on the wheel unless you are standing next to them looking in?

He probably has his hands in the lap holding onto the bottom of the wheel, with the child sat there you wouldn't see this.

I think you're being a tad hysterical. It is not physically possible for a three year to be doing anything other than sitting on a lap with his/her hands on the wheel!

[Hellocampers]

Of course he's holding the wheel at the bottom. No 3 year old could steer a car safely.

You couldn't possibly see into the car unless the pavement is much higher than the road and the car is literally crawling past you.

[AimlesslyPurposeful]

It does seem a very odd thing to do but the dad would have his foot on the pedals. So, even if the child did turn the wheel in the direction of someone in the road/on the pavement/grass the dad would hit the brake.

However, I don't think you can say for definite that you know he isn't holding the wheel. How can you see that he doesn't have a couple of fingers on the bottom of the wheel? Is it a glass car?

[nocabbageinmyeye]

I sound like Mrs.Mangle now I swear I'm not I jusy happened to see out my bedroom window (terraced houses with no paths so he sort of passes right by my window, no paths is why the kids have to go on the road too get to the green), one hand was on the window like he was holding the thing where you'd keep your unglasses (?) The other on the gear stick so at the ready yes as I said but not on the wheel.

When you drive into our cul de sac you drive through two greens on either side and the one in the centre, the kids play between all three and as no paths they have no choice but to go on the road too get to each or get from their house to one of them.

[Hellocampers]

Well in that case could you tell him how dangerous you think this might potentially be? The main danger to him and his son really.

[TheHouseOnTheLane]

Oh God report the twat! If a child ran out the Dad might not be able to move on time! It's entitled, pathetically indulgent behaviour.

[MiddleAgedandConfused]

People have being doing this since cars were invented. I am sure that the dad will have it under control. I would just relax and forget about it.

[nocabbageinmyeye]

My dd is 9 so she has cop on on the street, well where most things are concerned, it was more the small kids I was thinking of, when there is a bit bunch of kids playing it's very easy for them to get excited and forget to look up and down, i was sort of thinking his reaction time might be slower.

I was just surprised really, i thought it was a thing of the past as I genuinely hadn't seem it in years before this couple moved in

[Coffeethrowtrampbitch]

He sounds like an idiot.

We were shocked when we visited Blair Drummond safari park a few weeks ago to see a couple with both of their young daughters on their knee in the front, and the girl on the driver's knee steering the car. The driver was holding the child round the middle so definitely not steering.
They were driving round areas with lots of pedestrians and laughing away, so obviously not concerned that they had put anyone else at risk.

I don't know what if anything you can do about it though .

[WeirdCatLadySaysFuckOffJeffrey]

If it worries you so much why haven't you said something to him?

For what it's worth, I don't think he should be doing this. Though he would be able to brake in an emergency and I bet his hands are on the wheel somehow. IMHO children should be taught to stop playing and be safe if a car approaches (and shouldn't be playing in the roads anyway).

[NarcyCow]

You've two separate issues here.

The father shouldn't be letting the 3 year old sit on his lap, it's illegal for him not to be in an appropriate carseat.

Kids should only be playing on the green unsupervised if they're old enough to look after themselves. The 'small kids' you mention who would forget to look up and down the road shouldn't be out without an adult.

[nocabbageinmyeye]

They don't play on the roads but do have to use them a lot due to lack of paths.

Your right NarcyCow about the younger kids they prob shouldn't be out unsupervised they don't have a good awareness of safety.

I won't say anything, they seem to think it's great fun so obviously don't see anything wrong with it, their child's safety isn't my concern, i don't know them from adam so i'm not going to knock to give out, i really am not a nosey neighbour i was just waiting on a delivery so i was looking out just thinking it was one of those things that were a thing of the past.