AIBU to want to smother my husband with a pillow when he snores!!!!!

(16 Posts)
thehousewife Thu 25-Jun-15 12:17:30

So my husband snores like a train!!!!! He isnt overweight but not exactly super fit either. He got a gum sheild fitted from the hospital to stop it, of which sometimes it did, sometimes not, anyway the dog ate it so we are now waiting 14 weeks for a new one. I've got cancer so really need my sleep at times. But this issue winds me up sooooo much for some reason, i literally hate him in the morning if he's been snoring all night. I already wear earplugs and I can hear him through them!!! He's always apologetic but I'm literally stumped, i don't really want to end up sleeping in separate rooms, I'm terminally ill so like to be near him in the same breath!! FFS what to do……..????? We've tried sprays, nose patches blah blah blah help………..

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 25-Jun-15 12:30:31

It sounds like you have been down the medical route.
Maybe try a different approach?
Could you leave a radio on while you sleep? It might distract you from the train!
My exp used to wake the whole house by snoring. Being in the next room didn't help! He used to wake himself too.

Good luck.

Midorichan Thu 25-Jun-15 12:55:32

My husband and I havent been able to share a bed in over two years due to his snoring...we finally tried the other night when he agreed to wake me up when the kids were up bevause i was going to wear ear plugs...I can still hear him through them, but it's still pretty horrific. They're painful for me to wear too.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 25-Jun-15 12:58:51

YANBU.

I had an ex who snored so loudly, ear plugs didn't touch it. It could keep me awake through 3 closed doors at the other end of the house. 'Twas torture.

In the end he had an operation to remove a big horseshoe-shaped section of his soft palate. It worked a treat (but we still split up).

ExtraBlessings Thu 25-Jun-15 15:27:26

On dear, OP. Snoring is horrendous and it does cause you to feel irrationally that the snorer is intentionally torturing you while enjoying the deep and dreamless themselves.

Can you give yourself a head start to get to sleep? So when he starts up you are already out for the count?

I'm sorry to hear you have cancer. All the best.

MrsRossPoldark Thu 25-Jun-15 15:40:32

Must be so frustrating esp right now.

Can you speak to the GP - my DH snores horrendously and developed sleep apnoea which meant that he stopped breathing for up to 35 seconds [I know - I counted!] at a time and then would gasp for breath. If the snoring didn't keep me awake, the gasping would wake me as he'd jerk violently and then go back to sleeping like baby! He makes the entire house rattle from top to bottom when he's asleep - my sisters and parents have never understood how I cope. It's usually by going bed an hour before he does.

The GP prescribed him a nasal spray which effectively keeps his airways open but recently he hasn't bothered to renew his prescription so is back snoring away again and pi'''g me off! He even snores whilst he is awake - watching TV or 'concentrating' [his words]. It did work for him, as long as he used it every night, so that would be my first port of call.

DonkeyOaty Thu 25-Jun-15 16:18:27

He might do better with a cpap machine. Has he done a Sleep Study with the hospital?

HelenF350 Thu 25-Jun-15 16:25:56

Have you tried a different pillow? This sounds ridiculous but my ex snored very badly and we traced it to a memory foam pillow, once we changed it the snoring stopped completely.

amicissimma Thu 25-Jun-15 16:41:04

My DH snores so loudly it gets through any ear plugs. If I use earphones with white noise it has to be very loud, and makes my ears itchy.

But it's his problem, not mine; I sleep quietly and peacefully - when I can. So I handed his problem back to him and started poking him every single time he snored. He tried being annoyed, but I pointed out that there was no reason why I should be kept awake while he slept; I couldn't do anything about his snoring, but he could. We had this argument many, many times, but at last he lost some weight and it did improve.

Now I've lost my inhibitions about waking him up. Why shouldn't I? He wakes me. Why is he allowed an undisturbed night but I'm not? If he gets woken 20+ times during the night maybe he'll do something about it. Or maybe not, but that's his choice - he'll keep on being woken. I may still get woken up but at least I've stopped seething.

Thurlow Thu 25-Jun-15 16:45:42

I'll swap you for DP's newly developed habit.

It's like a click or a pop whenever he breathes out. A tiny but noticeable pop. Every 5 seconds, like clockwork.

I'd rather have snoring. This is like fucking Chinese water torture.

Breathe... click... breathe... click... breathe... click...

<shoots self>

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 25-Jun-15 16:48:21

You can buy the gum shield things on line. You have to follow the instructions to mould them. Works well for dh. He followed the links from a British Association of Snoring or something like that.

PyjamasLlamas Thu 25-Jun-15 16:49:38

Omg Thurlow!! I thought mine was the only one who did it. Actually it's a family trait as SIL does it too according to BIL. We both moaned to each other for ages about the torture of knowing another 'pop' was about to come.
They don't breathe through their nose at night which is just bizarre to me and so the popping comes from the back of the throat I think? I have no idea.
I have to pinch DH nose or get him to roll over. Her does it
More if lying flat

Thurlow Thu 25-Jun-15 16:56:56

I swear to god it's worse than snoring!

I furiously Googled it the other day and it's something to do with breathing in through the nose/mouth, then breathing out through the other, so something at the back of their mouth (either their tongue or that dangly bit, who know, I'm shit at biology...) has to keep moving position and so makes that noise.

Sometimes he'll stop if I poke him to move. Or just pinch his mouth shut blush

It only really happens when he's deep asleep. If we go to bed at the same time then we're generally ok, but every now and again he goes to bed before me and is deep asleep by the time I get in. Then I know it's going to be a night of pain. The other night I ended up on the floor in the toddler's room (no spare bed without inflating the damn thing) because it seemed more peaceful!

thehousewife Thu 25-Jun-15 18:32:23

Thowloe you just made me chuckle!! I had a friend that did that, it drives her husband crazy!!
I'm going to have a look online to see if we can buy one for the time being!!! A gum shield that is, I'll mention the spray to him too!! Thanks guys at least I'm not the only one suffering!!!
I think he needs to lose a few pounds too, he can get his arse to the gym, there's one at his office so he can get in it!!!

dinodiva Thu 25-Jun-15 18:33:05

My DH snores like a pig when he's been drinking and/or lying on his back. Luckily though, somehow he's been trained to respond to instructions whilst he's asleep. All I need to do is say 'DH, you're snoring, turn over' and he does what he's told.

Now I'm sure that it's an entirely unhelpful suggestion, but as a happily married woman I can't really try the technique out in other people to see if it works for them!

I love whoever taught him to be so obedient.

ovumahead Thu 25-Jun-15 19:38:47

My husband and I have resorted to sleeping in separate rooms for some time now. We always get in to bed together for snuggling and whatever else, sometimes fall asleep together, but then he moves to a separate room. I don't feel that we've lost any intimacy due to this arrangement at all. It's so much better as we're both happier. And I can actually sleep! And he can sleep without gum shields ,nose tape, sprays and a tennis ball gaffa taped to his back... And endless mild violence from me throughout the night! I'm not sure how I'd feel if I had cancer though ,that does change things. Good luck with whatever you decide. I know its not easy but sleep deprivation IS torture !

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