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AIBU?

To think you tell your children about your marriage breakdown before you tell Facebook?

10 replies

EchoOfADistantTide · 31/03/2015 17:58

I think I've put my foot in it.

I saw that DS's best-friend's Mum posted on FB announcing that she and her husband had decided to separate. No nastiness, he commented too and so on.

I was a little surprised and said to DS, who was sat next to me, "Oh dear, XXX's parents have split up"

DS was messaging his friend on Skype this morning who said his friends said his parents haven't split up. DS must have said I'd seen it on FB so the friend has asked my DS to send a picture (which he hasn't).

I feel bad that I've possibly been responsible for telling this child his parents are separating, but I REALLY thought that they would tell the children first. If I hadn't seen it on FB but heard it from someone else then I never would have mentioned it for fear that it was't official.

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Discounted · 31/03/2015 18:01

Gosh. Yes I'd have said something to my DS too. I would have assumed it would be general knowledge among anyone with a vest interest long before it made it to FB. However, that doesn't seem to apply in all sorts of situations IME.

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NoMilkNoSugar · 31/03/2015 18:02

ShockWhat an idiotic way to parent (them not you!) That poor boy.

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Hissy · 31/03/2015 20:15

My parents never bothered to tell me or my sister they were getting divorced.

We overheard dm telling her friend in the kitchen. I dare say if fb had have existed then, this is exactly what she would have done.

Mind you she's funny with information. Told everyone about the new home she was moving hundreds of miles away to.

All about what it was, where it was etc.

Except me. I didn't get told where she had moved to until about 10 days later.

I knew she was moving, and when, but not the town/village whatever.

She had left interim contact details for others. Not me though.

Did I mention we are no contact?

Some parents really are that fucking hateful. :(

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atonofwashing · 31/03/2015 20:45

Wow - how insensitive of that mother. Poor kid.
It's not your fault.
YANBU.

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CarolPeletier · 31/03/2015 20:46

Its not your fault, don't feel bad. Ask your son to hold off sending picture.

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MaidOfStars · 31/03/2015 20:48

The parents are idiots. It's not your fault, I'd have assumed the same.

and might be tempted to comment on the FB thread to that effect

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EchoOfADistantTide · 31/03/2015 22:09

My son doesn't have a picture, he only heard it from me. There's no way on earth I'm giving DS a screenshot to send to him.

i'm sure he's gone to his parents by now.

Thinking about it now, maybe he DID know but is in some kind of denial? If he admits it to his friends then it will have to be true. He's 11 by the way.

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Discounted · 31/03/2015 22:13

That is possible Echo. DS2's best friend's parents split about a year ago. I know dad has moved out of the family home but friend still hasn't told DS2 (and neither have I, but more through luck than judgement)

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Discounted · 31/03/2015 22:13

They're 11 too.

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LowryFan · 31/03/2015 22:19

Kids are funny about their parents relationships. I could well believe the child is pretending not to know. My DC have told me of two lots of friends who's 'parents are splitting up', yet over a year later both couples seem happily together still.

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