..about this child minder?

[ALittleFaith]

I am raging! Before I went back to work at New Year I arranged to put DD in with a child minder. At only 6 weeks notice she told me she couldn't have DD as one of her PT kids was going FT. I ended up getting my Dad to do a lot more which we have managed for 10 months but things change.

I wanted to put DD in child care now because my Dad hasn't been well. I decided to try this child minder again because I did really like her despite her letting me down. I changed my hours at work to start in two weeks' time. I contacted her last night about settling in sessions and starting in a couple of weeks. She emailed me saying she can no longer have DD as again one of her PT kids is going FT! I have already changed my hours. AIBU to be fucking fuming? Once is bad, twice is ridiculous. I want to reply to her email with a rant. WIBU to give her poor feedback on childcare.co.uk?!

[Aeroflotgirl]

I would leave this one, and try and find another, she wounds very unreliable. If she cannot have more charges, she should say she cannot.

[Littlef00t]

Did you sign a contract at the point you agreed to go with her? In my book, you either did, and if you drop out owe her fees and she can't go back on it her end, or you didn't and it's still flexible.

[ALittleFaith]

No we didn't sign a contract. I feel like an idiot for giving her a second chance only for her to do the same thing again!

[jacks365]

You can't expect someone to keep a place open in case you decided you did need it. The child minder has done nothing wrong the place went to the first person who actually booked it.

[PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair]

That does sound very annoying, but I can understand why she would prioritise an existing client over someone new who hasn't yet signed a contract, in case it doesn't happen and she loses both children if the other parents find other childcare.

Could you have said or done anything to make her question your intentions, eg the email about settling in, could it have come across that you are not sure your dd will be staying, or have you been awkward about paying up front etc? I'm just wondering if this is her standard excuse when she realises that she isn't going to get on well with a particular parent and changes her mind about working for them?

Sorry if that sounds mean to you, I'm just wondering whether it is really coincidence that this has happened twice or if she's trying to subtly say that you're not going to be a good fit.

[ALittleFaith]

I thought it was all agreed jacks, I was asking her about finalising all the details. We only discussed this last week. I've never used a childminder before, clearly I was naive about securing the place.

[ALittleFaith]

I was very definite about her going. I don't think it was ambiguous. I'd given her a proposed starting date. Yes maybe she doesn't think we're a good fit story of my life and I'm not very good with subtleties. I'm upset because I changed my hours in good faith and now I'm struggling to find an alternative. DH and I both start early (think 7am so 6.45am drop offs) so finding an alternative childminder isn't easy, nurseries are impossible.

[PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair]

And btw, 6 weeks notice is quite a lot to give. I know it must be frustrating when you're trying to sort out going back to work and you have to start the search again, but most CMs will give (& expect from you) 4 weeks notice of any changes, so even once a contract is signed, it is perfectly fair and appropriate for her to give you 4 weeks to arrange alternative care. 6 weeks should be plenty.

[jacks365]

Until you sign the contract there is no commitment and you are still only a potential customer. You did get back in touch but many won't.

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

Oh poor you.

Ex cm here and that's not very professional.

You should both have signed a contract with a start date and you should have paid her a deposit for the place.

I can see why she would prioritise her existing children but in my book she's let you down.

We arnt all like this.

[Thebodyloveschocolateandwine]

I don't think people realise how vital the contract sign is and how vital it is that it's read properly and signed

I never allowed my clients to sign or discuss contracts with kids in tow as noone must be distracted.

All business like that was done after hours and quietly

[PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair]

The early starts might be the issue then. I have taken on some children who stay quite a bit later than most of my others. At the time I agreed to it, it seemed ok, but having discussed it with my family they weren't keen and complained about it eating into our family time.

Had I been given an option of a current child doing extra hours within my normal times I may well have decided that was a better option and not signed the contract with the late finishing parents.

As it turns out, it's fine and doesn't cause too much upheaval, but as a self employed person the CM has a right to decide at any point which hours she's happy to do and which clients she wants to prioritise. That's the perk of having a job which takes over your home and entails huge responsibility. As you say, most nurseries can't accommodate those hours and if you haven't signed a contract with the CM she has every right to give the space to anyone else.

[ALittleFaith]

Thank you Thebody.

To clarify, this time it was only two weeks' notice. New Year was 6 weeks. Well I guess I've learnt my lesson about contracts the hard way.

[ALittleFaith]

My boss just rang about my change in shifts as she's doing the rota so I've said to leave them as they are so it's not quite the crisis it could have been.