to be so worried about my dad's future?

[lookingspiffy]

My parents split 8 years ago, affairs on both sides. They sold the family home, from which DF got 80 000 and DM got 120 (they reached some agreement whereby he got a bigger share of his pension). DM also received some inheritance from her mother, which meant she bought her own place outright and is now retired, living in a small town with a small pension but generally happy and has enough spare cash to live comfortably, but cheaply.

DF has been renting a place in the countryside in the north of england for 8 years. He is 65 and still working for a sales company. He works from home, mostly, but it is quite pressured. He has an on-off girlfriend but their relationship is a bit of a disaster and they have split up about once a year for the past 4. During the break ups, my dad gets very depressed, won't eat, won't answer his phone etc. It's a nightmare.

Anyway, landlords have given DF notice to move out as they want to sell the cottage. Now he wants to buy, in the same area, and has put an offer in for a house for which he has been offered a 90 000 pound mortage. I spoke to him last night and he looked ill with worry. His plan is to work for the next 10 years to pay off the mortgage and his backup plan if he loses his job is to pay it off with capital out of his pension which will give him barely anything to live on.

I have asked him to find something cheaper, he says he was lucky to get the mortgage and has been told he won't get offered another one. He reckons he can't buy for less than 80 000 up there, but won't move to a cheaper area.

I feel like he thinks he 'should' be in a nice area, so will take whatever risk to do so rather than cutting his cloth to suit his sail. It was the same when we were kids, he was in and out of work and we had no money. Yet, we lived in a really nice area in a huge house with a huge mortgage and I went to school with kids from rich families unable to understand why we could never afford anything in comparison. The house was badly in need of doing up but they could never afford it and the only reason they came out of the sale with any money was because the house prices went up in the area - they never paid any of the mortage off, just covered the interest for 15 years.

I live in Australia, which makes it all so much harder because he really is on his own and I don't know how to make him see sense or what alternatives to suggest - i'm not very financially minded and don't know what his best option would be. AIBU to think taking on a 90 000 mortage at 65 is a worrying prospect? He thinks he has to take the risk. thanks for reading, sorry it was so long!

[mermaid101]

I don't have a great deal of advice, but it does sound like a worry. What size is the house he wants to buy? Could he be persuaded to buy a smaller property, but still in the area he likes?
Does he have other family closer to home than you?

[Optimist1]

I can understand your concern, but he's a grown man who's had years of financial experience from which to learn! I'm not clear from your OP whether he still has any ££s left from the divorce settlement? If not, then he's effectively starting from scratch at 65 years of age - not ideal. And he's committing himself to a further 10 years of fulltime work when others (eg your mother) are enjoying their retirement. At the end of the day, it's his decision, but I can understand your worry.

I'm not sure I believe that the mortgage offer he's got is the only one he's likely to get, though - lenders make an assessment based on a) a person's ability to repay and b) the value of the proposed property. If he fulfils a), then he just needs to find a property that he can afford, surely?

On the positive side, his State Pension should kick in on his 65th birthday and he will no longer be paying National Insurance contributions. The amount of the SP varies considerably, but it could contribute towards the mortgage repayments.

Not much help, I'm afraid, but he's sailed through his life so far and might well scrape through to the end in spite of more cautious folk like us being aghast.

[HappyAgainOneDay]

An older person here. Please don't judge your father on his age. You'd be surprised how well older people manage because they worked so kept their brains active and their bodies physically fit. If he wants to or has to work another 10 years, let him.

If he becomes desperate to give up work, he can go down the equity route. (I wouldn't like the equity route for myself but my circumstances are different).

[lookingspiffy]

Thanks for the replies. Mermaid the house is 3 bedroom because he wants a spare room and a home office. I think he should forgo the spare room and just put a sofa bed in the office but he wants to have somewhere nice for people to come and stay :(

Optimist He has the capital from the old house - 80 000 - and that's all as far as I understand. Apparently the mortgage lending criteria changed 3 weeks ago and it is unlikely he would be eligible under the new criteria. That's what he has been told, anyway. I'm not that clued up on that stuff though as I am not a homeowner myself yet so have never had a mortgage or been through the process. Thanks for the info about state pension/ NI though.

HappyAgain Please don't think I was suggesting he was too old physically or mentally or couldn't be trusted to make a decision, it isn't that at all. He is very fit and active and is a very intelligent man. I just think that, particularly in a sales job, if someone has to go it is going to be him because he is expensive and he isn't as clued up on new technology as younger employees in the company. Example - they are all encouraged to use social media such as twitter and he has refused because he thinks it's a load of rubbish! I fear that if he lost his job through either redundancy or health he would be unlikely to find another one. PArticularly one that he wouldn't need to relocate for.

If he gets into real financial difficulty I'm the only one in the family with any hope of bailing him out but it would really stretch us when we are already TTC and saving for a house. I have just turned 30 and while most of my friends have parents who support them (I don't necessarily mean financially, I mean are supportive) I feel like I am constantly having to look out for my parents, listen to their problems, and worry.

At the same time, my brother who is 3 years younger just sails through without a care- my mum is paying for him to go travelling next year because he has spent his savings on music festivals! ARGH!

Thanks for listening, I feel like I'm going a bit mad sometimes.

[EWAB]

You are a good daughter worrying about your dad. Not ideal, but could he rent a room out in his new house just to get a bit extra?