AIBU to NOT want to organise this?(26 Posts)
Last year Dh and I went away at a certain time of year with the kids and had a brilliant time. We are going to do the same this year. It was just a lovely little family break and we are looking forwards to the same again.
Now some of my friends have mentioned about going (this was before we said we were definitely doing it again this year) this year and have been looking up prices. I (bloody stupidly) mentioned I get a small discount and they immediately said it was brilliant and I could arrange it all for them.
NO NO NO!! After a recent event, I swore to DH that I refuse to organise any thing again. It always brings me hassle in some way, I always have to chase people up, and some of the people that are going are notoriously flakey and don't often reply to messages.
Now I tried to get a quote online and it actualy won't let me for the size of the group and says to phone. I know they are going to want me to do it and us all to book it together so we get a group discount, which we would. But I actually don't want to go with them. We enjoyed ourselves a lot last time and were looking forward to a little family break again, not trying to coordinate with 3 or more other families were peoepl would want to do different things plus one in particular likes to get her own way and if you don't agree to what she wants, she'll keep mentioning it.
AIB a miserable bugger? If not then how do I diplomatically say "hell no, we want our own family break?" It is highly likely they ware going anyway and we are all going to be there at the same time. DH is really not keen on the idea either.
Go somewhere else as a family only. Just say you and your dh want some complete down time with just your family.
There are 2 issues:
-you don't want to organise it (don't blame you)
-you want privacy (again don't blame you!)
No, YANBU at all, I would hate that too.
Can you just say there wasn't any availability?
And say it now so you don't get roped in and leave them enough time to sort it themselves.
I would tell them straight that a holiday should be exactly that - A holiday from your normal life, and a time to spend some real time with your family. They are not welcome.
Just tell them to organise it themselves.
Say you can't book it with such a large group size and get the discount, so you will be booking your holiday separately to get your discount and if you happen to end up at the same place that would be great (all mostly true!)
just say that you tried to get a quote online but it wouldn't give one for a big group (not a lie) and that as thats the case you'll just book for your family and they can book for themselves if they want to go
Tell them the discount is for you plus 3 and no more.
It can't be anywhere else because the thing it is, is specific to this particular place. I can't also get away with saying there isnt any availability as if I don't book it, they will end up doing it their selves and it will be blatantly obvious that I lied.
Plus we and the kids loved it and were really looking forward to it (me and DH are, we haven't told the kids yet).
Can you say something along the lines of,
"I've looked into that break for you and if you want to get the discount you'll need to phone this number, however I'm afraid you'll have to count DH and I out as we've discussed it and agree we want a family holiday just the 4 of us. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time though and if we're there at the same time we might even bump into each other!"
Ugh no sounds like a nightmare!
I'd just say sorry, it wouldn't let me get a quote for that size.
Anyway, you've already booked your trip right? So you obviously can't get the discount twice, and you can't book a group soooo... They'll just have to do it themselves.
That's a good idea, I'll tell them I can only use the discount for us. Which is what I'd prefer anyway as the discount split between means we'd hardly get anything off our break, being split between that many.
I know they will say about phoning so we can get a big group discount though. And I can't pre-empt and book ours now as we can't afford to until slightly later this year.
I suppose they wouldn't know if I'd booked it or not!
Or .. Sorry I can't book online for all of us. I have booked for us so if you want to then you can book online....we might see you there for dinner or a drink.....
The discount is your little perk not to be used for every tom dick or Harry.
Tell them you have had a look at booking with your discount but you can't do it.
Tell them it was a discount per family.
You won't take on the whole group booking as .... who would
Keep it light.
You are not being unreasonable to want a family break for just yourselves, discount or no discount. I would recommend you just tell your friends straight that is what you want. No true friend would object to that. I would not recommend telling an elaborate story about booking systems / phone lines / whatever because they might see through it - just tell them straight, it's your family holiday.
Could this say there are restrictions on how the discount is used, and you can't get it for a large group?
I (bloody stupidly) mentioned I get a small discount and they immediately said it was brilliant and I could arrange it all for them.
Just don't get back to them. If they ask say 'oh sorry, I meant I could get a discount for us, not for you. You will have to book your own holiday.'
The thing is,it is actually true, I can't book online for a group that big anyway. I'm also fairly sure I'd said something along the lines of I'd look into it. They kind of caught me on the hop because when I mentioned my discount, I wasn't expecting them to jump on it and say I could sort the whole thing out for us all.
I'm not entirely sure how understanding one of them will be. She moved away at the beginning of the year and whilst its nice to see her, she will mainly see it as an opportunity to see her and be miffed if we don't jump at the chance. References have been made when we have seen her previously about how "XXX and you get to see ME" like we have all been sitting around d and waiting for her. 'jokey' comments are frequently made when we have done things that she clearly can't do with us anymore.
Anyway, that doesn't bother me too much. Its been a stressful time recently and I just want a nice break with my family. That's actually what I could say. I'm just not entirely convinced they'll see it like that as they see it as a great opportunity to go away together, whilst I see it as my family trip being encroached on .
And I can't pre-empt and book ours now as we can't afford to until slightly later this year.
THIS is your solution!
'Guys, I am so sorry. You know we are really keen to go to X, and we discussed doing it as a group... Well, me and DH are not sure we are going to be able to afford it. If we can, we will, but we're going to be booking last minute I'm afraid. Please, don't wait for us - all together you are such a big group that you might not get sorted in time and be able to stay together, plus, if we don't end up going you will have waited for nothing! It means we can't do the discount thing - but, I've looked into that and actually between all of us it would give each family hardly anything off the final price. So - go ahead and book, sort it, give us the dates and we will try our best to be there!'
Then - if possible, end up booking another week after inventing a vital family party/set of exams/routine operation DH has been waiting 20 years for on the week they are going - so boo hoo, you won't be there when they are. Or, if it's a set week thing, see if you can book last minute as far away from their cottage/caravan/underwater pod or whatever it is.
Ok then - contact her and say 'can't get discount for a group that size so back to plan A - maybe next time'.
And do feel when you book or nearer the time to ask for accommodation away from them!
I think the best thing is to be vague and say you're not sure what you'll be doing but you will probably be doing something as a family. Do what Castlemilk said.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.