AIBU to think commander Sarah West has spoilt this for all women now

(90 Posts)
Thefishewife Sun 27-Jul-14 07:30:10

Commander Sarah West was promoted to the rank of first female navel officer of a war ship despite fierce opposition.

The long held view is that women in such close quarters with men would for long periods of time would lead to the investable and on board relationships are bad for moral , and causes issues that can be difficult to resolve in a small space

After so many years of women navel personal convincing the brass this would not be the case what did she do start and affair with one of her married junior officers on board

Personally I think she is a silly women not just fucked her own career but have set navel women back

And sadly this will be now used as exactly the reason why women should not be on ships (hmm) I was just so peed of when I read this

Johnogroats Sun 27-Jul-14 07:32:57

You may well be right. Ex RN officer here. However, while there is very probably no smoke without fire, perhaps we are judging too early?

redshifter Sun 27-Jul-14 07:33:45

YANBU

WanttoFindWorkLifeBalance Sun 27-Jul-14 07:36:00

I think there are a number of different facets here. I think it's hard for her being held up as a female role model and as a result being a media target - would this have even made the press if it had been a male? If all true, then yes she hasn't behaved as she should but usual disciplinary should deal with this rather than trial by press. Depressing though that this may in some ways set back diversity progress within the navy.

limon Sun 27-Jul-14 07:37:25

Oh do get some bloody perspective! We don't go around betraying men and dechiding men shouldn't have senior roles because so many of them have affairs with female staff.

yabvu

limon Sun 27-Jul-14 07:37:41

Sorry for typos.

fishybits Sun 27-Jul-14 07:42:19

"Fierce opposition"? Who opposed her appointment OP?

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sun 27-Jul-14 07:42:51

Do you think we should wait for the outcome of the investigation before we start slagging her off?

Anyway, Lord West (retired First Sea Lord) said that when he joined the Navy, women weren't allowed to go to sea. However, he still had to discipline male sailors for having sex (presumably in similar circumstances to the allegations here)

Johnogroats Sun 27-Jul-14 07:44:15

Limon - you are missing the point.

Any captain of a ship in the RN (male or female) would be taken off if such allegations were true, ie an affair with someone on board. There is background on the BBC website. I am no prude, but if true she has been bloody stupid and absolutely should be removed. A huge shame after what appears to have been 2 successful years in command. And a set back for women in the forces.

melissa83 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:49:10

I dont see the big deal and its definitely no different to the men in the forces. Nearly all the pilots and aircrew are shagging lots of women behind their wives back including really young ones. Lots of forces instructors shag the trainers even when they are 16/17/18. Everyone is shagging everyone officers/sgts/all the young girls.

Infinity8 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:49:48

How many men in senior positions at work have had affairs with colleagues in less senior roles?

I don't think it's fair to judge her more harshly than them.

That said, I would have had more respect for my career than to do this - it's unprofessional. And shagging a married man is skanky, so if she did this I won't be feeling too sorry for her.

melissa83 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:53:05

I think its sexist that they are even putting it all over tv or the media. Nearly all senior men in the forces do the same so why isnt it a big deal for them?

MassaAttack Sun 27-Jul-14 07:53:26

If it's true that a man in her position would be removed, then so be it.

The truth is that if male officers mess about with junior colleagues there seems little apparent consequence to them at all. I suppose it matters less on land, or if that colleague is only a civilian.

I can't help suspect some double standards and sexismat play, basically.

kim147 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:54:24

Just imagine if it had been a gay commander of a warship who then had an affair with someone.

Would that then be an argument for saying homosexuals shouldn't be in the Navy?

Thefishewife Sun 27-Jul-14 07:55:13

Fishy bits her appointment was opposed I have navy in my family and the view still is very much women should not be on board let lone on command

This exact sernero was trotted out as to why women should not be on ships and the first time a woman commander is appointed what dose she do I am sick of hearing women are a distraction in the forces

But sadly for us we need to prove it

kim147 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:57:16

How many male commanders have been dismissed for having relationships on board with others?

If so, how many of them have been front page news?

melissa83 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:57:43

What about all the instructors/regiment/ptis/training instructors/officers/cpls/sgts etc that shag lots of young girls every year. Everyone knows it happens and its usually married men in their 30s/40s. Some are getting with a few on every flight/squadron but no one minds that do they?

kim147 Sun 27-Jul-14 07:58:41

What happened to the Junior Officer? Wasn't he also involved and at fault as well? Shouldn't he be named in the media?

MassaAttack Sun 27-Jul-14 07:59:18

Excuse typos blush

melissa I agree it's fairly commonplace, but I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's the majority.

melissa83 Sun 27-Jul-14 08:00:43

I know of hardly any women that went through training without being with at leat 1 if not more cpls or sgts. Locking them in your wardrobe, sneaking them out the window, walk of shame etc. Its the way it is and always will be due to the amount of men to women.

Thefishewife Sun 27-Jul-14 08:01:50

And it's not good enough to say well the men do it you actually get in lot of trouble for affairs in the armed forces man or women however in this case it's was a long overdue appointment and this is what she will be remembered for and I bet their won't be any more women commanders for a good while

Lottiedoubtie Sun 27-Jul-14 08:02:05

When one male officer is disciplined (for anything) does it reflect on his entire sex and set other men back in their careers?

Thought not.

MassaAttack Sun 27-Jul-14 08:04:36

Exactly, Lottie.

Thefishe - do they really get into a lot of trouble? It doesn't appear to have held back any of the ones I know of.

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 27-Jul-14 08:04:44

kim I think in the forces that the more senior person is considered the one committing the bigger offence.

Agree that when males are caught in the same boat there is no big hoo-ha like this though.

melissa83 Sun 27-Jul-14 08:05:27

Men get in a lot of trouble for affairs ahhahaha. Takr it you never been on a wednesday or on an overseas jolly/det

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