Bus passengers

[Calamityoncrutches]

Have nc for this but regular poster. I am completely prepared to be told iabu but genuinely interested on others opinions.

I was born with a physical disability which flares up at times resulting on me needing crutches and being in extreme pain. Currently I am at a point where I can not safely drive. Today I had to take my ds to and from school so the only way to get him there was via two buses.

I collected him from school and we walked to the bus stop opposite. We stood for 45 minutes waiting for the bus (meant to be every 10 minutes) I also had my friends daughter with me age 2 because she was called away on an emergency.

When the bus eventually turned up I was in agony but at least I was on my way home. I knew the bus would be busy because of how long we waited but at this point felt like crying. I paid for my ds and looked for a seat. Not one person would let me sit down so I had to stand on crutches, trying to desperately hold tight to two children whilst various other passengers just stared at me. I understand everybody had had to pay to use the bus and some other passengers may have had hidden disabilities but surely there must have been at least one able bodied passenger who could allow me to sit down. There were various passengers with children and yet not even a child was asked to move over so I could even Pearce on the edge of a seat. I could not physically stand up at the bus stop any longer and was now running late to pick up my dd who finishes school 45 minutes after ds approximately half a mile away.

If you have followed this far aibu to expect somebody to show some consideration?

[Sparklingbrook]

Calamity you are NBU x 1000000000000.

Selfish buggers.

[Pipbin]

No YANBU.
I don't remember the last time I took a bus but you can be sure that I would have stood up for you.
Being on crutches is not a risky one like asking a pregnant woman if she wants a seat only to find out that she is a friend of the pie.

[Calamityoncrutches]

Thank you, the amount of pain I am in today is immense and did not know if it was just the morphine going to my head.

[birdybear]

Somebody should have offered you a seat. But why didn't you ask?!

[Bambamb]

Yanbu but if you were that desperate why on earth didn't you ask for a seat?

[ilovesooty]

Did you ask anyone to give up their seat?

[Calamityoncrutches]

Sorry should have added I even said to quite a few passengers can I sit down please or at least let the toddler but they all seemed to have hearing problems too.

[Ludways]

I would've stood up for you I'm a heartbeat YANBU at all.

[PoloMintCity]

YADNBU. Have some - hope you feel better tomorrow.

[ilovesooty]

If you asked it seems there were some selfish people on board then.

[NurseyWursey]

God there's some selfish fecking people. It astounds me how many times we read of this, what is wrong with the general public.

[Calamityoncrutches]

Thank you polomint are very appreciated especially as I can't even have some because of my medication

[Sparklingbrook]

Well asking would open a whole can of worms wouldn't it?

[UriGeller]

I genuinely feel very sorry for you and Please have no doubt that if I were on that bus I would have let you have my seat immediately, goes without saying.


You really need to work up the courage to ask though. Give people the opportunity to show their kindness, do it with grace. I think some times people in general might be scared of insulting you if you look capable by asking if you need their seat.

I'm not excusing the passengers behaviour but trying to rationalise the situation. English people can be awfully funny about these things. I don't think its maliciousness, just weird inverse politeness.

I hope you found time to rest when you got home.

[BuzzardBird]

I am sorry this happened to you Calamity. Where the hell do you live?

I once had to stand on a train whilst 6 months pregnant on crutches due to chronic SPD in Italy...ignorant tourist twats!

[ImAThrillseekerHoney]

YANBU and they were bastards, but I think perhaps you could do with a bit of work on your assertiveness because it's really unlikely that an entire busload of people were all complete bastards.

OTOH I know from experience that when you are knackered and in pain your assertiveness skills are sometimes the first to go.

[LetZygonsbeZygons]

I would have said something to the bus driver as you did ask if someone would stand up.

yet another reason for re-instating bus conductors.

[MrsMcColl]

Ignorant feckers.

[UriGeller]

Ok, I see you did ask. Then people are just weird. Ask VERY LOUDLY next time, and shame them into giving their seat up.

I've done this before when I was preg, asked very politely, very loudly and thanked the person very profusely when they muttered and shifted their arse.

[Calamityoncrutches]

I am normally very assertive but I was feeling so weak I did in the end shout at the bus passengers in general "Oh you are all joking of course" trouble is buses don't even wait until you are sitting down so to get back to the driver etc would mean trying to move as well as keep three of us upright. I have been in about twenty minutes now from collecting dc's so finally able to rest.

I wish I had put in op that I had asked people as I hate people who drip feed.

[Sparklingbrook]

Who would you ask though? or would you make a general announcement to the whole bus?

[LetZygonsbeZygons]

yes its amazing how people suddenly become disabled themselves as soon as they get on public transport, deaf and blind.

im on crutches too OP and I ask very loudly now if no one gets up.

[Sparklingbrook]

I hope you are feeling better soon and can start driving again.

[JessieMcJessie]

That's shocking. Was it in London? Only possible explanation is that people on buses tend to retreat into themselves/phones/papers and may not have noticed you? However that's clutching at straws- I live in Hong Kong where many locals are breathtakingly rude and self-absorbed (have lost count of doors swung back in my face) but even here a person on crutches would immediately be given a seat on a bus.