(57 Posts)
newbiemum13 Thu 06-Mar-14 01:38:06

I am interested to know how often people's baby sees their grandparents (your MIL/FIL) But again very specifically when they live 1 hour drive away.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 06-Mar-14 01:47:32

Um, as a grandparent, I'm finding your tone a little confrontational, but that might be due to personal difficulties with my own dil, mother of dgs2. (Half an hour away) Why specifically the in-laws, rather than your own parents?

LuisCarol Thu 06-Mar-14 01:52:27

My in laws saw my baby about once a month when they lived about 90 minutes drive away. They now live 90 seconds walk away, and they see the babies every day. My in laws are awesome.

TheZeeTeam Thu 06-Mar-14 01:55:17

When we lived an hour away, my MIL came every other Thursday and once a month, we would go stay at theirs for the weekend.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 06-Mar-14 03:04:43

Back when my own dc were small (they're adults and parents themselves now) we lived about an hour away from my mum (dad deceased) and pretty much the same distance/time away from PIL.

There may have been some deliberate choice in this; far enough away that we couldn't be expected to visit daily, not so far we'd have to stay overnight. But then we met young, had dc young. Lots of things can be different...

Mimishimi Thu 06-Mar-14 03:17:35

My parents live about an hour and 15 minutes away. We see them about once a month or so on average.

redcaryellowcar Thu 06-Mar-14 03:32:09

in laws around 45 mins away, see them about once a month, my dad about an hour see him every 6-8 weeks,.my mum (divorced from dad) about 40 mins,. see her most weeks, but as i am sahm see my parents usually through the week with weekend visits limited to 2-3 per year! my dmum i see once a week and she comes to look after ds so i.can do stuff like dentist appointments.

StrawberryGashes Thu 06-Mar-14 03:59:00

I don't see your post as confrontational at all. They see the grandparents once a fortnight and they live 90 minutes away.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 06-Mar-14 04:15:05

I think we need more input from the OP, really.

HeyMicky Thu 06-Mar-14 04:16:27

PILs live an hour and 15 away and we see them about once a month

russianfudge Thu 06-Mar-14 04:31:18

Sadly they have no paternal grandma, and my fil is abroad so not a lot! But my mum is an hour away and it's around once every five weeks now she's older (7) but when she was a baby around once every three.

newbiemum13 Thu 06-Mar-14 04:32:32

Hi, thank you for the responses. It's just an "out of interest" question. Obviously people are going to vary widely but just thought it'd be interesting to see where we sat on it. "OldLadyKnowsNothing" I said in laws just because they happen to be 1 hour drive away, other grandparents are a few doors away, that's all. If it was the other way round I'd still be asking the same question.

rabbitlady Thu 06-Mar-14 05:43:25

i see the baby (2yr 4mo) whenever i can - because she hangs out with my baby and that nice boy my baby married and i want to see them all.

occasionally, i might go three weeks without seeing them. usually it would be once or twice a week. a bit more now because i'm not at work. i live five minutes away.

son in law's mum sees the baby every six weeks or so. she lives a four-hour drive away, i think.

TwittyMcTwitterson Thu 06-Mar-14 05:46:09

DPs parents are divorced, both are still approx an hour away. I'm going to say we see DMIL monthly ish and DFIL when he can fit us in to his busy schedule. his new gf seems to e very selfish and generally spends the whole time she's allowed him to see us moaning about having to leave soon so he shouldn't get too comfy

My mum and dad also separated. One is an hour and a half away one is about 15-20 mins further. I'd say again monthly ish. Usually it's sort of the fifth week.

Hmmm, just realised my dads gf also generally dictates when he's free. Where do these women come from??? shock

puddeycat Thu 06-Mar-14 05:48:04

My husbands parents died years before we got together, but my dd sees my parents at least 3/4 times a week.

SaltySeaBird Thu 06-Mar-14 05:58:34

My inlaws live 10 mins away and see DD normally twice a week. They do a days childcare for us (I do worry she is too much for them but they seem to be happy and they asked to have her). We also pop round for a cuppa at the weekend so we get to see and speak to them instead of just having a flying conversation at pick up / drop off.

My DM lives an hour away and sees DD on average once a fortnight. We go there for a Sunday roast or she will come round to us. Often I'll go and see her in the week too if I have no plans for my day off. I wish she was a bit closer, it feels like a bit of a trek, although it's less than my daily commute.

DailyBread Thu 06-Mar-14 06:05:18

If my parents or inlaws lived 1 hour away (sadly much further) I imagine we'd see them every 1-2 weeks, depending on what we were all up to and how good they were about babysitting!

Euphemia Thu 06-Mar-14 06:29:22

OP what is your AIBU? You haven't said yet.

NobodyLivesHere Thu 06-Mar-14 06:32:11

About once a year thank The Lord

APipkinOfPepper Thu 06-Mar-14 06:35:30

My parents live about 45 minutes away. I see my mum once a week when she has the children when I work, and meet up at the weekend once every 3-4 weeks. MIL lives an hour and 45 mins away, we see her maybe every 3 weeks.

24again Thu 06-Mar-14 06:38:21

Same distance - (but maybe crucially my parents) saw them every week for five years. Sometimes twice a week, either I'd travel to them for the day or they'd come up to me. Was wonderful and very helpful.

MigGril Thu 06-Mar-14 06:40:35

probably averages about once every two months as they are often busy (but are retired). Some years we have seen my dad more who lives over 4 hours away.

They never come to us we always have to go to them, as they can't leave the dogs to long and our house is way too small too have three large dogs running around.

TamerB Thu 06-Mar-14 06:41:38

As much as possible - make the most if it. They can be a real part of their life then and ( from a selfish point of view) willing babysitters.

Kezzybear Thu 06-Mar-14 06:53:52

It really depends in yours and your DH's relationship with parents. Mil lives an hour away and we see her over Christmas and special occasions but this is her choice. We don't even text or phone inbetween. But for others it will be a lot more. Do your in laws want to see GC more? Also I would rather they came to me more than have the boys in the car for too long. But whatever works for everyone.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 06-Mar-14 06:58:01

What other grandparents do or don't do is irrelevant. You clearly think that they either visit too much or not enough. Reality is that grandparents are individuals, they make their own decisions, live life their way, and there is no template they all conform to.... no 'right' way to do it. Similarly the rest of us are individuals. Some of us like constant contact with extended family and others would prefer to be left to get on with it.

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