I was at a birthday party with DD (4) at a friend of a friends daughter's birthday. I know the mother, but not well enough to consider her a good friend, but we see each other through my friend with the kids.
DD slammed a door and caught the birthday girls fingers and I told DD off and got her to apologise to the girl and told her how dangerous it was and that someone could get really hurt. This isn't the first time she's done it and she's actually slammed her own fingers in the door. It's not a malicious thing and it is an accident but it's something that has happened on a few occasions now.
After the girl had calmed down the kids went off to play again and DD slammed the door again not five minutes after this happened. I went to the room she was in and told her off and said if she did it again we'd be going home and told her off (no shouting, just in a firm voice).
The mother of the birthday child came and said to me (in front of DD), I think you're being too hard on her, you are too strick with her, she's a well behaved child and she's not doing anything on purpose. I said this isn't a one off and she needs to learn she can't do this (in my head I was thinking 'how dare you' but I didn't say anything as I didn't want to cause a scene at the party).
This woman then went on to say to me "well if you aren't careful you will end up becoming like your mother and she won't want a relationship with you". (Back story - I have no contact with my emotionally abusive narcissistic mother who has done some truly awful things to me. The reason this woman knows about any of this is she was at my friends house when some really upsetting things had been happening with my mother and had heard me talking to my friend about some of what was going on.) At that point I said 'you are totally out of line to say that to me and to make any comment on how I parent my child'. She apologised to me but was quiet with me for the rest of the party, as if I had hurt her feelings for calling her out on what in my mind was totally unacceptable. AIBU to think this whole scenario was completely out of order and to be upset? I'm very sensitive around the whole issue with my mother and being anything like her, so maybe I'm going over the top because of that one comment, but I'm still quite upset about the whole thing today.
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AIBU?
To have been really annoyed/hurt about what happened (sorry a bit long)
21 replies
KellyElly · 17/02/2014 10:30
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