AIBU to think there is a difference.

(37 Posts)
mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 17:49:40

After a conversation earlier I was left feeling like rubbish, is there really no difference between people who choose not to work and claim, and people who work but claim top ups. Are all benefits viewed as the same.

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:35:14

Don't get me wrong lol i think we all have jealous moments . I got jealous at a friend once because she claimed top ups whilst her oh worked so she didn't have to .. and of course in was a bit envious but didn't judge her because it's.not her fault

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:31:21

I never said I had a problem with unemployed people at all .. as above we were talking about the ones who chose that lifestyle. Not everyone on benefits.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 17-Nov-13 18:25:30

... but if her angle is that all benefit claimants are scroungers, "douche" is quite polite really.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 17-Nov-13 18:23:33

I hope you realise, OP, that most people on unemployment benefit are not on it as a "lifestyle choice". The majority will have been in a job before, and will be in one again, and would rather like to be in one right now if they could. Most of the rest are trapped in that uncomfortable position where they cannot get a job because they don't have experience, but they can't get experience because... well, you know the rest. Yes, there are a few lazy arses around, I'm sure. I haven't actually met one myself. I have, however, on a couple of occasions, been unemployed and it really isn't as much fun as certain media might have you believe.

I begin to realise where your sister may be coming from, actually. I thought she was calling you a scrounger because she thought you were one, which would be completely unfair; but if her angle is that you don't have a right to look down on other benefit claimants because you, too, are not able to be independent of state support right now, her point would be that they are no more scroungers than you are. Or no less. Or something.

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:22:08

Nope get no help of him, haven't heard from him since the day he left .

Angria Sun 17-Nov-13 18:19:48

Molly you're the one with the career, so what if you are helped in that by benefits.

Was she really having a dig at ex partner. Do you get any help from your children's father?

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:19:01

Well she is educated too has a degree in law but took years out for kids, her kids are both at school now.

I rent a 2 bed flat , and have 1 in school and 2 younger, we live v different lifestyles.

Your sister sounds like a douche. I don't claim anything but don't judge those that do either - whether that's unemployment benefits or the top up ones. She really shouldn't be so smug and judgmental, life rarely goes as planned- what if her husband left her

Ilovexmastime Sun 17-Nov-13 18:13:33

Sounds to me like your sister is putting you down to try and make herself feel better about the easy life she has when she can see how hard you work for what you have. IYSWIM?

iHateMrTumble Sun 17-Nov-13 18:11:57

I was thinking about this the other day, I work in childcare which is notoriously low paid, most of the people I trained with (we all qualified in 2000) have either moved on to earn more or top up wages with their tax creds. Who would do the low paid but still essential jobs if there was no help to survive (and I mean survive not live!) on those wages.
We would all be leaving our children with school leavers and police like you op would leave their careers they were trained for and experienced in as soon as they needed to be providers.
We should not be ashamed to work in responsible but low paid professions.

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:11:08

Teenage I'm not benefit bashing at all but I don't believe I have to agree with certain benefits because I am on a diff kind as its all different and in different scenarios so yes I agree with benefits .. but not it being used as a lifestyle choice. But there is a difference

annieorangutan Sun 17-Nov-13 18:09:38

Your doing a very important job and havenkids of course thats much more impressive than if you were at home just claiming benefits. Ignore.

cantheyseeme Sun 17-Nov-13 18:08:29

Theres a big difference, unfortunately we're not all in a position to have better careers (yet in my case) but think of the 'uneducated' jobs out there that pay minimum wage.... they make the world go around, we are the ones who care for elderly and mentally ill people, where would they go?

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:07:36

Yes she is older she said what's wrong today is everyone relies on top ups and fathers are not even forced to pay up , yet another dig at me. I'm currently training for CID and love my job.
I hate the whole we have everything because we work hard for it .. Yes so do other people , shop workers, nurses, cleaners.

Oh and im unemployed and actually get less benefits than i did when i was working.

SecretNutellaFix Sun 17-Nov-13 18:06:49

And should anything happen to her relationship with her husband she would be the one totally fucked, not you.

You have a job and earn your own money. She doesn't work and whilst she doesn't claim anything from the government appears to be totally reliant on another person to support her lifestyle?

Well you claim benefits, benefits are benefits, so long as you don't join in an anti benefit rant with your sister she has no right to judge you.

pianodoodle Sun 17-Nov-13 18:04:53

I'd ask your sister what she would do if her husband left tomorrow.

janey68 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:04:50

People who choose not to work, or who deliberately keep themselves "underemployed" to get benefits are totally different to those who are working to their capacity though.

I know a couple of women with school age children who work part time school hours (and have been offered full time school hours only contracts) who deliberately continue working only 3 or 4 days a week because they get topped up through tax credits. Now thats taking the piss. However, it's also a short sighted view as I'm sure people in this kind of situation will get hit before long

If you work full time but are on a very low wage then that's different. Of course the real problem is that NMW should be higher, and the more hours someone works, the better off they should be . In an ideal world, a full time job on the NMW wouldn't need topping up and the worker would be able to afford to live.

mollyandme123 Sun 17-Nov-13 18:04:28

It got very heated, as I pointed out actually I am above her on the work ladder, she relies on her husband 100 per cent so don't really see the difference there either.

Anniegetyourgun Sun 17-Nov-13 18:04:07

So you are a scrounger because you do paid work, but she isn't a scrounger because she doesn't. How very... is "logical" the word I'm looking for? Perhaps not.

Gossipmonster Sun 17-Nov-13 18:03:03

But if she is a stay at home mum she's not claiming benefits?

I presume she s your older sister?

She's talking out of her arse -ignore her smile

DameDeepRedBetty Sun 17-Nov-13 18:02:43

Loads of xposts!

I didn't think it was possible to join the police these days without a reasonable level of education - don't do yourself down OP.

OwlinaTree Sun 17-Nov-13 18:02:10

She sounds smug.

DameDeepRedBetty Sun 17-Nov-13 18:00:57

Your sister is a bit of a silly moo. Whether or not the working tax credit system is bonkers is a completely different conversation. Meanwhile there's a massive difference between claiming the money and childcare element which means the difference between just about surviving and actually living while working, and those who spend their time coming up with ways to avoid having to do anything other than watch daytime telly.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now