To be annoyed at friend coming over with a cold??

(33 Posts)
Xfirefly Thu 07-Nov-13 11:50:13

would you go to a person's house who had a baby knowing you were unwell and could potentially pass it on?
my dd is 9 weeks old, she suffered a cold at 2 weeks old which luckily wasn't too bad.
OH friend, who does my head in at the best of times, asked to pop in to lend a DVD. He comes in has a cuddle with dd and then tells us (moans rather) that he's got a cold. my oh immediately calls him a twat for coming over but he just laughs!?
Anyway, dd has been up all night now with blocked sinuses and a very chesty cough. she's not her usual smiley self bless her she's very irritated.
OH just said leave it lie but I want to tell this friend he's made her ill

am I right to be annoyed? sad

Xfirefly Thu 07-Nov-13 13:16:48

bea the first thing he did when he come in the door was cuddle dd as he does adore her, so I didn't notice he had a cold straight away.
oh and friend have the type of relationship where they can tell each other what they think and swear at each other...so no he doesn't call everyone twats grin

LittleVikingChick Thu 07-Nov-13 13:18:24

I completely understand you being annoyed. Yes there are germs everywhere and we cannot live in a germ-free bubble, but it's just common sense to take a little care in the first weeks/months. In Norway where I live people even take extra care to wash their hands before holding a baby the first couple of months of the baby's life. First the get used to the 'family-germs' then you start exposing them more and more to the world and later they pick up everything they see and put it into their mouth.

TheIggorcist Thu 07-Nov-13 13:40:59

It is odd that so many mumsnetters think it is the height of bad manners to go into a house wearing shoes, but bringing viruses in is fine.

Mim78 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:41:56

I think they should warn you first and give you the option. Ideally before coming over but definitely before cuddling the baby.

They probably just didn't think about it but ideally you are right.

Cold will be awful in the winter though. If you are bf try to get the colds yourself first and then baby will get immunity (not meant entirely seriously!)

misspontypine Thu 07-Nov-13 13:52:43

Yanbu to be angry. My ds was in hospital for a week with a "cold" he turned blue and had to be rushed to a more specialists hospital in an ambulance. There were babies in intensive care, all the babies apart from my greedy ds who thinks food is more important than ooxygen had tubes in their nose to feed them.

Emergency alarms were constantly going off because a baby was struggling to breath or had stopped breathing.

a cold is often not "just a cold" for tiny babies sad

Xfirefly Thu 07-Nov-13 13:55:19

I just thought it was common sense but I can see how it comes across as me being overbearing. I always stay away from family and friends children if I'm ill because I know it can be a nightmare.

mim yes this friend is the type to never think beforehand. he always used to call unexpected late at night when me and oh were either in bed or about to go to bed.

she was breastfed for the first 2weeks then due to getting sepsis and being in hospital very poorly for another week I had to stop sad .so she has had some goodness from me.

Xfirefly Thu 07-Nov-13 13:58:52

misspontypine - the midwife told me when she had her first cold to keep away from people who had colds and cold sores. she said it would be hard to avoid the virus but to avoid people who were obviously ill and would be in close contact with her could be a help. she said you have to be very careful with small babies.

that's why I was miffed tbh .

uhOhOhDear Thu 07-Nov-13 15:07:53

Yanbu. I don't think you need to justify yourself, very young babies shouldn't knowingly be exposed to viruses imo. Of course she'll have loads of coughs and colds over the years, but the first few months it's better to avoid if possible.

Congratulations btw :-)

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