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To expect to be called my married name and not my maiden name ?!

(106 Posts)
thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 09:39:36

Got married in August. ]

Changed my name with GPs, dentist, both banks, etc etc.

Gets a letter from hospital last week "Miss C Blue" for example when I am now "Mrs C Red".

Its probably the lack of sleep but I almost cried this morning when calling the GP for an appointment to be told "We dont have a Mrs Red on the system, but your details match up with Miss Blue, is that you?"

SO frustrating. I'm totally PMSing this week too.

specialsubject Fri 25-Oct-13 14:08:04

the biscuit is for crying over a trivial admin issue. May this be the worst thing that ever happens to you.

You'll be able to sort it out. Name changing does make a lot of work, but you volunteered for it.

Hey, I'm with Becca, go gently folks
OP says she usually lurks but de-lurked to talk about this.
Can't we make it a bit less personal and talk about the significant hassles of changing your name with any tips that might help her? Or even why you didn't change yours.
But not the "haven't you got anything better to worry about" stuff ?

Bubbles1066 Fri 25-Oct-13 14:20:36

When I changed my name at the doctors they changed my surname not title so I was Miss x and became
Miss y. I just left it. The bank changed it twice (I was mrs x mrs x on letters for a while) and orange spelled both my old and new names wrong. All of it had to be sorted out. So I get why you're annoyed but don't get upset. Not worth it. Orange to this day have an extra H in my name.

bittapitta Fri 25-Oct-13 14:20:51

When I changed my name I wrote to the PCT they sent a new NHS card. I don't think telling your GP is enough.

MurderOfBanshees Fri 25-Oct-13 14:23:21

My bank was like this, weirdly they changed my name on some bits of the system but not others. Very frustrating. Meant lots of fun conversations on the phone, even had one person ask me how I didn't know which name I was registered under, like it was me who hadn't updated the system.

Talkinpeace Fri 25-Oct-13 14:34:40

I use both my names.
I have bank accounts in both, passports in both, CRB checks in both, charity commission and companies house records in both
my tax records and NHS records are in one, dental records in the other
its part of who I am ornery

chillax - pick your battles

This is meant in the nicest possible way - if you are feeling incredibly vulnerable and likely to take extreme offence at any telling you YABU, probably best not to post in AIBU. There are other, more supportive forums.

Especially when the particular issue you've picked up on is really not important. There is no hint that anyone has mixed up your medical records, indeed you say that the GP knew who you were even though they had not updated your name.

Not really a good idea to ask if YABU and then when people say "yes you are" to start citing all the genuine traumas in your life.

Also probably a good idea to get some perspective on this, or you'll end up taking it out on someone who really doesn't deserve it, like your GP's receptionist or someone at Morrisons checkout.

thursdaysgirls Fri 25-Oct-13 14:50:41

Urgh specialsubject what a troll thing to say.

Yes Im a total princess with a silver spoon crying over spilt milk. Not like the worst part of my life was losing my son when I was 19 and spending time in a psychiatric ward was the worst time of my life, I clearly know nothing about trauma and hardship.

Let's not turn this into a "my life is worse than yours" thread when it was a mini rant and advice seeking OP.

Thanks for the tips folks. By the time Ive changed my name I'll be 53 and filing for divorce hahaha. Guess I know how I will be spending Monday morning grin

ColderThanAWitchsTitty Fri 25-Oct-13 14:56:48

It's incredibly irritating (and concerning) when people in positions of trust with your private information can't get so much as your basic name correct.

Please don't feel the need to "prove" that your life is shit OP by listing what's gone on. We've all had shit (even those with "charmed" lives) and I'm sure specialist knows that..yours isn't the first thread she has posted that on.

If everyone only ever posted the really horrible shit happening to them I'd have to stay of mumsnet for fear of falling in to a black hole of despair.

dexter73 Fri 25-Oct-13 15:04:13

Actually I don't think you are being unreasonable. It is important for them to have your correct details and if they can't get it right after 6 attempts then that is pretty useless.

Beastofburden Fri 25-Oct-13 15:49:47

Oh well.

I use Mrs Beast with my MIL and at my DH's work if I am there socially- and the GP I think.

I use Ms Previous at my work and on FB and with lots of our friends, and so forth.

I seem to have bank accounts in both names. I have only been married since 1990 so I guess it would be U to expect them to be updated.

The only thing I dont like is being called Mrs Previous. That's my mother's name.

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 15:59:52

Not really a good idea to ask if YABU and then when people say "yes you are" to start citing all the genuine traumas in your life.

Normally I would absolutely agree the point is that Thursdays was upfront about this very early on mentioning not only PMS but BPD and in fact after relatively few people had said she was BU....it's just that people didn't notice (or chose not to)

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 16:01:06

Witch'stitty has got in bang on thlgrin

Beccagain Fri 25-Oct-13 16:02:41

got it bang on thlblush

Dobbiesmum Fri 25-Oct-13 16:05:51

When you change your name with the GP it goes on the database so it should cover everything medical, it can be done in a very short space of time. On a couple of occasions we did a name change straight away because the patient needed referring that day. Unless the hospital referral crossed with you changing your name you may need to get onto them yourself.

Bowlersarm Fri 25-Oct-13 16:10:08

It took ten years for me to totally change my name over so it wasn't an issue for me.

However it is important to you, so YAdNBU to be annoyed. Just keep persevering and try not to let it get to you.

Talkinpeace Fri 25-Oct-13 16:17:29

Miss Talk - OK, thats my work name
Mrs Peace - Ok, thats my family name
Ms Talk or Ms Peace - if they insist
Mrs Talk or Mr Talk = scammer
but the one that really, really gets my goats is my ***** mother calling me by DHs initial

Beastofburden Fri 25-Oct-13 16:19:00

but surely your records wont get muddled up- you have an NHS number??

AnyoneforTurps Fri 25-Oct-13 16:31:51

When you change your name with the GP it goes on the database so it should cover everything medical

No it doesn't (I'm a GP).

Blokescantbuypressies Fri 25-Oct-13 16:36:31

I once phoned my wife's office:

"Please can I speak to MaidenName?"
"Sorry, I don't think anyone by that name works here."
"Er, yes they do. MaidenName?"
"No, sorry, there's noone by that name here."
pause
"Er, I meant MarriedName."
"Oh, OK, I'll put you through. Who shall I say is calling?"
pause
"Er . . . her husband."

This was about five years after we got married and she had never been known by her maiden name at that company.

I should have hung up.

Jan49 Fri 25-Oct-13 16:43:38

I'm irritated that my new doctor's surgery has put me down as Mrs even though I completed a form saying Ms and have never used Mrs in my life (I'm divorced). My previous doctor's also called me Mrs in error. And I know it's trivial but it's really annoying too. I've had 2 letters and 3 texts so far from the new surgery, all including my full name and title and Mrs. Grr.

Kundry Fri 25-Oct-13 17:05:16

It's much easy in Germany where everyone is Frau. No Mrs/Miss/Ms.

I just booked on Lufthansa - they give you the option of Mr or Ms as title.

If only the UK could have gone the same way.

Dobbiesmum Fri 25-Oct-13 18:11:30

Anyoneforturps it doesn't? blush apologies! ignore me OP, I was telling you what my dozy old boot of a practice manager told me.

BasketzatDawn Fri 25-Oct-13 18:13:02

Be joyful, OP. Today is now Friday. You could change your user name on MN too.smile

BasketzatDawn Fri 25-Oct-13 18:19:09

Jan49, it's taken me over a decade to sort out the same problem. Just got myself changed to Ms instead of Mrs. Such a trivial problem I almost felt embarrassed at wasting their time, but I did fill the form as Ms when we moved here. It bothered MrnotBasketz more than it bothered me, and all the little Basketz have his name. This probably means all the HPs in town think I am bringing up some other woman's DC and no wonder I AM SO frazzled all the time. grin

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