To be a bit weirded out by work colleague's behaviour?

(48 Posts)
VulvaVoom Wed 16-Oct-13 15:07:59

I've returned to work from Maternity leave and have pretty much started a new position, some colleagues are ones I know and some are new people.

I took my DD into work this pm to see my old work friends/colleagues, there's a man who I don't know very well and have only had (very brief) work chat with over the past 2 days.

He bounds over, says 'is it a he or a she?' I then tell him and he starts putting DDs socked foot in and out of his mouth while she's sat on a colleagues lap. I felt a bit weird about it and a bit embarrassed, he then picks her up and put her on his lap and starts lowering her through his legs quickly (as if she's falling) and back up again.

He's quite a, shall we say, eccentric man from what I can tell but it made me feel quite strange. Men don't generally grab babies off of women they hardly know do they? This isn't an thread against men holding babies, I guess if it was a familiar known male colleague, I would have no odd feelings but this is strange yes?

Prepared to be told I'm the weird one BTW, I really can't tell if IBU?

Frau Your post is sickening. There aren't sex offenders on every sodding corner!!

OP, it might have weirded me out. But a lot of people can be a bit deer in the headlights when they meet a new person. I suspect he just likes babies, or has one of his own.

Frau - your post has really disgusted me.

Men are allowed to go a bit gooey over babies. Doesn't mean they're looking for sexual gratification FFS.

lionheart Thu 17-Oct-13 10:36:33

Honestly, it sounds like he just loves babies but I understand that it must have felt a bit peculiar since you don't know him well. Actually, if you did know him it might feel stange. There are lots of threads on MN about the ways others, family, friends, strangers interact with babies and young children. I think, inevitably, having a baby just makes you more sensitive/protective when it comes to boundaries and your children.

Frau, surely the female colleague is then guilty of placing the child on her genitals if she had her on her lap?

Or do only heterosexual males abuse children?

I am normally one if the few voices explaining how many sex offenders there are in society and not to let children wander on their own, btw.

Your post is indeed sickening.

Following on from Frau's post.

Under 2's have feet that you want to play with etc, as baby's brain development is enhanced by them making the connection between their hands and feet and control, it is natural to aid development by using a baby's feet to interact.

Getting a baby to clap does the same.

Or do I need help and keeping away from small children, as well confused

My ex partner loved babies and children under about 7, we attended a wedding at a hotel once and entertained a strangers baby so they could eat, whilst waiting for the night time party.

We have fone the same around the pool on holiday. I have 3 children, he has 2. My former DH was the same.

I am in Liverpool, we tend to be forward with children and it is accepted by parents.

I have to hold myself back when I see babies, I could happily entertain them for hours, they are wonderful.

I feel sorry for men who feel the same, as they are thought of as strange by many.

I love babies - thank goodness I'm female and won't be classed as weird or viewed with suspicion!

I'm sure he was just enjoying interacting with your DD perfectly innocently. Some people do genuinely love babies/toddlers/children - if there was a room full of people and babies I'd much rather be interacting with a baby than an adult. Other people can't think of anything worse than being handed a baby and probably don't get those that enjoy it.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 16-Oct-13 22:38:59

Perhaps over enthusiastic but nothing more than that.

FrauMouse what a bizarre thing to say. Weird.

Some people love babies. Prefer kittens myself.

CackleCackle Wed 16-Oct-13 22:32:49

*Dp and I

CackleCackle Wed 16-Oct-13 22:20:32

This reminds me of a similar thing that happened when I was in scbu with my 1st born, she was a day old. She had a bit of trouble breathing and had a few tests done. My partner and I were waiting with her when a male doctor probably in his 40's came in to discuss the results. All fine btw He picked her up and went all gooey/coochy coochy coo on her, look at you! (Holds her right up arms stretched right out) Aren't you gorgeous? So much hair (blows rasberrys at her). Dp and were like hmm at each other. But to be honest I found it sweet, he was obviously in the right job! He loved babies! Everyone else we'd been spoken to by was so clinical. No major expression, serious. It was a breath of fresh air.

Poor fella. He sounds a bit like my dh. Great with small ones, awkward with big ones. Friends love bringing their kids round here as my dh will have them building stuff with lego, painting or playing in the garden. They get at least an hour of peace.

Frau your post is actually quite sickening.

quoteunquote Wed 16-Oct-13 21:56:54

To me he just sounds like he is one of the people who loves babies,

what is quite sad that it is frowned on to be like that.

atomicyoghurt Wed 16-Oct-13 20:38:03

Haha he sounds like a total freak. Sorry but I can't imagine when it would be ok to put bits of a baby in your mouth, unless it's your own baby.

marriedinwhiteisback Wed 16-Oct-13 20:30:27

I'd find it a bit over the top to be honest. I wouldn't have taken my children to work as babies though. Work's work; private is private and best kept that way.

phantomnamechanger Wed 16-Oct-13 20:25:39

cant see the problem, perfectly lovely behaviour IMO from a man who happens to like, and from the sounds of it be experienced with, babies.

The poster on about passing the baby near his genitals is just unbelievable!

NEWS FLASH - babies sit in laps all the time!

Tuppenceinred Wed 16-Oct-13 20:15:14

FrauMoose that post is crazy. When a baby is cradled on someone's lap would you describe that as being close to their genitals? I put my baby nephew on my lap to rock him backwards and forwards, meaning his feet are near my "genitals". Does that mean I've got some sort of weird baby foot fetish?
Would the reaction be the same if a woman had played with Op's baby in the same way?
As others say, it sounds as if this bloke loves babies, in a completely normal and non-sexual way. He may have been a bit OTT, but I've seen women and men go similarly stupid when faced with a little one.
FFS the world's gone bloody mad.

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Wed 16-Oct-13 20:14:41

Oh for Christ sakes Frau Moose, He wasnt rubbing the baby of his fucking genitals!!!!

FrauMoose Wed 16-Oct-13 20:11:13

It's very odd really. On the one hand we act as if paedophiles are round every corner and everyone who comes within 100 metres must be CRB checked, children put under virtual house arrest etc. We are big on 'stranger danger'

But when somebody who we are acquainted with basically comes up and grabs a female baby, does a spot of toe-sucking and passes her near his genitals we say, 'Oh how sweet he just loves babies. What's your problem with that?'

It doesn't add up does it?

Mushypeasandchipstogo Wed 16-Oct-13 20:09:23

YANBU he sounds a bit weird to me but a wouldn't worry too much if your DD is not going to see him again!

DH would do this. He is gaga about babies. When my niece was a colicky screaming nightmare, her mum used to ask him to come up to give her an hour of peace. He is the baby whisperer voodoo man. Either that or he's actually boring them to sleep grin

coldwinter Wed 16-Oct-13 20:05:18

I can't see any issue with this at all confused

Milkjug Wed 16-Oct-13 20:03:26

I knew someone exactly like this. He was terribly socially awkward, especially around women, went scarlet every time he spoke to one, and he adored children and was desperate to have some of his own. You would find him playing with any child in the vicinity. I found it rather touching, and I gather he's now married with daughters, so hurrah.

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Wed 16-Oct-13 20:01:40

What did you think was inappropriate? What did you think his intention was?

You already thought he was weird (from a two min conversation?) Did that cloud your perception of the events?

mrsjay Wed 16-Oct-13 19:58:41

aww penelope thats nice

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