ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
To wish that just sometimes DH would bloody well think for, and do things, himself!!?(27 Posts)
My DH is a lovely bloke and is great in many ways, however he really pisses me off in that he always tries to get the kids to do everything for him, which they then inevitably can't do, and he keeps barking instructions at them, makes no effort to do the job himself, and then I end up having to get involved.
Take today, for example. I went out alone to get the weekly food shop. Got home and one of the doors at the front of the house was open. DD (aged 8) and her friend were sitting in DH's car, which was parked on the road, and our two dogs were running around on the road and on the path. DH was sitting in the house watching TV. He'd told DD to go and turn off the radio in his car (which he'd left on), and she'd let the dogs out. She couldn't work out how to turn the radio off and he kept giving me instructions to tell her how to do it, and it was just quicker to do it myself. he then shouted to DD to 'tell the dogs to come in' and of course the dogs won't do as DD says, so again I had to get involved in that too, to get the dogs in safely. All the time whilst DH just sat there.
He also asks the kids to do things such as run baths for him. So they'll run it and he'll ask if it's the correct temperature, and then he'll keep shouting instructions upstairs such as 'add a bit more cold' or ' how deep is it now?' and it takes so long with all the instructions and to-ing and fro-ing that he could just go up and run the bloody bath himself. I end up going up to help the kids do it as they can't do it and he gets ratty with them. Or he'll send them up to get something for him which they can't find and again it'll be about 20 minutes of 'look here', 'look there', and once again I'll end up going up to find the item.
He also just seems totally incapable of thinking for himself. If he has to do anything child related then there are 20 questions. He had to pick DD up from brownies the other night as I was getting ready to go out and he must have asked me 10 times what time to pick her up. Or any other job he does, such as bath our 4 year old, he tries to draft me into it, asking questions and where things are.
I'm just fed up with it really. We both work full time, not sure if that will make any difference or not to the answers. He probably works slightly longer hours than me, but I do everything in the house generally.
I told DH from the point at which DS1 could walk (ok slight exaggeration) that he was not to use him as a personal servant, as DH seemed to think he could just give stuff to DS1 to take into the kitchen for him, or get the tv remote control for him, rather than move himself.
If he tries any unreasonable requests while I'm within hearing, I usually just say to DH that he should do it himself.
I do ask DS1 to get stuff for me now, since I had DS2, but only when it's really a bit tricky for me to get it.
Re. things like the timing issue - yes, DH is sometimes guilty again but I don't repeat it more than once, I'm far more of a PITA than that, I just say "I've already told you, can't you remember it?!" Or "it's the same time as it was last week, and the week before and in fact every time he's ever been" and amazingly he usually manages to remember it then! Just sheer lazy "thinking" and I CBA with it.
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