Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To be so upset with the school? Leaving dd age 4 alone and scared

(253 Posts)
D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:44:05

I thought dd had an after school club. Went to pick her and ds up at 4 walk in and in the corridor dd is sat on a chair next to the office, no visible adults at all and you can't see into the office. She busrts into hysterical tears, so upset that she couldn't actually talk.

It turns out that she didn't have art club so yes my mistake. But she had been sat in the corridor alone for 20 minutes, she's only 4 only just started reception so was pretty confused and frightened. No one called me or her dad or emergency contacts, also I only live literally across the road so would have been easy to just nip over. Also with no one watching her she could've just walked out the doors alone.

I'm just a bit pissed off and upset, I know Iafe a mistake about the club but feel they didn't try hard enough to contact me. Teacher was v apologetic and explained she left her in care of secretary (who afaik was no where to be seen) no one appeared when she cried expect from the school Senco who was also upset and concerned

Judyandherdreamofhorses Thu 03-Oct-13 16:46:00

My four year old would hate that too. But I wouldn't be leaving her at art club until she was ready for such eventualities.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:49:36

She would've been fine at art club. I wouldn't have expected her to be left in a corridor with no visible adults anyway so would not have prepared her for that.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:51:17

She does other after school clubs without mishap as well. I do hold my hands up, apparently she wasn't on the list for art club, almost certain I had a letter home saying she was but wrote down all clubs and days and threw the letter away so cannot prove it.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 03-Oct-13 16:52:00

Poor wee thing. You need to be having a serious word with the school.
Judy that was a bit unfair. hmm

willyoulistentome Thu 03-Oct-13 16:53:54

That's definitely not good. I would be fuming. It's fine to book a 4yo into an after school club. This eventuality should NOT have happened. Why did they not call you?

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:54:00

I feel a bit like she was punished because I made a mistake. I know it's not there duty to nip over bit it would've been quicker than phoning which they didn't do anyway.

hettienne Thu 03-Oct-13 16:54:42

They should have called you - don't they have a policy for uncollected children? I'd be concerned and ask to see their policies/discuss procedure with the head.

PlatinumStart Thu 03-Oct-13 16:55:31

I would be furious. Regardless of after school club you don't leave a four year old confused and alone. Had she not had club and you'd simply forgotten to pick her you would be right to expect a far more rife toys approach to her well being

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:55:37

They've not called me but apparently O2 net work down dh phone isn't 02 so could've got him on that if they did try me and not get through. I just feel they knew I would be there at 4 anyway for ds and couldn't be arsed

PlatinumStart Thu 03-Oct-13 16:56:27

Er "rife toys" should be robust

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 16:56:33

She wasn't upset till she saw me when she burst into tears so maybe not visibly upset but with no one there they wouldn't have known anyway

AmandaPayneVersusThePainballer Thu 03-Oct-13 16:57:57

Even when it is your cock up, that is appalling. You don't just leave a four year old for an hour. Our school have a specific policy and would work through the emergency numbers - they ask for at least three if possible and will happily accept four (so we have mine and DH's mobiles, the house and my mum)

christinarossetti Thu 03-Oct-13 16:57:58

She wasn't being punished but when no-one was there to pick her up and she wasn't in an after school club they should have called you.

They didn't know that you would get there at 4 - how long were they going to,leave it to contact you?

WahIzzit Thu 03-Oct-13 16:57:59

Poor thing. I would be pretty angry that they did not try hard enough to get in touch with you.

I remember in Primary school being dropped off home twice by my teacher - a 30 minute walk. Cant remember why, something to do with it being half day and we had no phone at the time. The fact that you live across road and they didn't bother is pretty unfair for your poor DD.

Firstly they should have phoned all your dd contacts and secondly she shouldn't be placed in an area where she could just leave unoticed.

I once done the same, we are human it happens but my daughter's school phoned me to collect her. Not only that but the exit from the office is electronically locked too.

WahIzzit Thu 03-Oct-13 17:00:48

My nephew at that age was in tears because my dsis was late by about 15 minutes, and he was the last child. He reminded her for ages about it as it really upset him. I wonder what your dd must have been thinking sad

moldingsunbeams Thu 03-Oct-13 17:02:10

This would not happen at our school, four year olds are not allowed to leave classroom without an adult and if afterschool club they are not allowed through corridor door unless a parent there.

In our school you would have been rung up after 15 minutes and child would have been kept in classroom with teacher until you arrived.

MollyBear Thu 03-Oct-13 17:02:43

That is not acceptable in any way.

If no one was waiting with her/in line of sight, how on earth were they to know she had been collected at all, rather than just wandered off?

Definitely ask to see copies of their policies on late collection/club cancellation - I would put money on them not saying it is ok to leave 4 year olds alone - and then ask why they didn't follow their own procedures.

Smartiepants79 Thu 03-Oct-13 17:09:21

I do understand why you are upset. Yes your child is quite little to be left sitting alone and maybe they could have tried harder to find you. BUT it's a lot to ask someone to give up half and hour of their working time to watch a child. Are you sure she was alone the whole time? Was the secretary popping in and out?
Did they try to phone you at home at all? I am evey suprised they made no effort to contact you. Maybe make sure they have your numbers correct. I work in a small village school with lots of children who live close to school but I wouldn't consider leaving the premises ( and the child) to go and check and see if the parent was in. Personally I would have kept her in the classroom with me until someone turned up but perhaps the staff were all in a meeting.
Where was your son?
4 is quite little to be doing after school activities. We don't allow reception children to stay until they have done at least one term with us.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:09:22

Quite glad I'm not being precious. I was tear ful when asking teacher what happened, that made me feel really silly, I'm not normal wet but she was so upset. She wasn't there an hour, teacher took her to office at 3.35 so 25 mind outside the office, still a long time for a littley

Jenny70 Thu 03-Oct-13 17:10:56

Poor safeguarding procedure... my dd would bottle it up until I got there, then lose it. Did they try to call anyone else?

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:11:18

I wasn't asking for someone to give up working time, you can see my house from the office it would've been quicker than phoning which they didn't appear to do anyway. Ds was in art club.

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:11:39

No they didn't call dh not the merge by contacts

D0G Thu 03-Oct-13 17:11:56

Not the emergency

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now