Dc (nearly 4) is in nursery, and fully toilet trained. Have not experienced any accidents in months but unfortunately today did a rather runny poo in nursery, most of it in her underwear. She was very upset about this when we got home, and seemed generally a little unwell so had a good cry while being cuddled in my lap. She then told me with a quivering lip that some poo went on the floor and a teacher had to clean it. I reassured her its ok accidents happen, and she said 'but mummy, the lady said am dirty!' I told her she isn't dirty and the teacher did not mean it, its not nice cleaning poo and she meant poo is dirty.
Anyway she was ok after a short while but I felt a little annoyed as that label of being dirty had made her feel so sad. (I know dc can make things up, but I know when she is fibbing or making up stories, and I have every reason to believe her as she likes to tell me all the nitty gritty details of everything and its usually always accurate).
Dc is at the stage of still getting used to nursery but as she is extremely shy and more or less mute while there so it is quite tough and emotionally draining for her. She told me she did not eat her yogurt in packed lunch other day as she couldn't open it and I wasn't there to open it, but didn't want to speak and ask the staff for help. So we have a lot of obstacles for the poor lamb to overcome yet! However I dont want the toilet becoming an issue too. Hopefully this was a one-off but calling her dirty is not great for the little confidence she has and I cant help feeling slightly annoyed. I know I may be being a little OTT but it breaks my heart to think she will have been so upset (she wails if her sleeves get wet while washing hands, she's THAT sort of child) and must have felt mortified at soiling her clothes. I won't be making an issue of it, but Aibu to think nursery staff should watch what they say, no matter what minging toilet mess the kids make?
AIBU?
To think its a bit mean calling a 3 year old 'dirty'
WahIzzit · 26/09/2013 23:29
Did she just mean it as in 'ooh, y'mucky pup' kind of way?
Or 'It's OK, I'm just cleaning this bit up, it's a bit dirty'.
I've got a nearly 4 YO too, and although she can talk the hind legs off a donkey, she doesn't have the skills to accurately get across everything that's happened (although she remembers every detail of things you would rather she'd forget 
)
If there are no other reasons for not being keen on it, I would give the nursery the benefit of the doubt.
"Oh you're dirty lets clean you up"
That's such a good example, they do take some things literally unless you explain the context behind it.
Like when I told DD to put her hand up when she was coughing, and she put her hand up like she was in class with a 
look
I am happy with the nursery overall, no issues at all. Dc would go in at weekends too if she could Its not part of a school btw. Its very big and has a large number of children and staff, though I am not familiar with all of the staff yet. The children have their allocated groups and rooms but are free to mix and all play together. They all seem happy and as most are there full time, the poor mites do get very tired.
Dc is mute with teachers and in their presence, but has many friends and does chat to them when she thinks no adults are around
The staff in dc's group including his keyworker are all English, and it isn't a problem as dc is fluent in English much more than his native language. There are a few kids who speak very little English, so perhaps due to dc's mutism this staff member assumed dc is one of them.
Ok well because thats the only 1 I know and I know that DH and his brothers don't mean it in the nicest way when they chuck it at each other 
It took my DD a little while to get used to it and she still hides a bit behind me when we get there, but she'd stop over weekends/nights too if she could
All the noise (which leaves DD talking full volume at home because she's used to having to shout to be heard!) and colour, different aged children, new people, new toys, it's bound to be a sensory overload for her.
If she's happy, that's got to be a good sign.
She'll come out of her shell once it's normal life for her.
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