My ex and I separated 4 years ago and have a 6 year old. She is fantastic but one of the main reasons I left him was that he had nothing to do with her; it got to the point where she'd cry when he entered the room because he was shouty and he made our life a misery. For the first 2 years after we separated dd was inconsolable at the thought of contact and had to be physically restrained to get her into his car. He didn't care. He'd put her back in nappies when toilet trained, let her draw on walls, eat junk all day - anything to make my life difficult and his easier. Now she's 6 dd still doesn't want to go to contact but accepts she has to. I am positive about it and have never bad mouthed her father but time and time again he lets her down and makes things harder than necessary. For example; he promised her 3 days out/weekends away over the summer but didn't do any of them. He promised her a birthday party - it didn't happen. For last Christmas and this birthday he's simply wrapped up his own expensive gadgets and pretended they're new ones that are gifts for her. Meanwhile, within a few weeks of Christmas/her birthday he has a weekend away with his girlfriend - courtesy of the money given to dd as gifts from his family. He sees her twice monthly only, never extra in holidays. He takes no responsibility for her and in my opinion, does not deserve her in the slightest.
I, on the other hand, spent hours and hours on a really thoughtful gift for dd. Have spent weeks organising and planning a birthday party she loved. Scrimped and saved to take her away in the holidays. I do her homework with her, read with her everyday, brush her teeth, get her to school on time etc. I don't expect a medal; these are things mums all over the world do - I know. But I so wish her father wasn't around to take the shine off everything. Dd adored her gift and party from me but whenever talking about her birthday she always ends with 'remember he promised a party but didn't do it?' Or 'why did he pretend to give me something that belongs to him?' AIBU to hate sharing her with him and to wish he'd leave us to it?
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AIBU?
To hate sharing parenting with my ex?
27 replies
JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 11:06
OP posts:
TVTonight ·
23/09/2013 13:00
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