to just want a night's complete sleep without one of them fucking waking us up

(136 Posts)
hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 04:46:46

We have a four year old and a one year old, not a night passes without one of them waking up and waking the rest of us up. Why oh why can the pair of them not understand that bedtime is for sleeping? so utterly sick to death of it.

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 02-Sep-13 11:12:03

The last time I had a full nights sleep without being woken was 9½ years ago confused

Tailtwister Mon 02-Sep-13 11:13:09

Also, I don't know what your family working pattern is, but make sure you both get at least 1 lie in a week. We used to take turns at the weekends (DH works full-time), or if that wasn't possible made some time for a nap later in the day.

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 11:22:29

yep hoochie! 5+1!

if Chaos hadn't snapped it up, my user name would have been ChaosTrulyReigns!grin grin grin grin

please don't waste your energy crying!wink

why do they wake up? what time?

YouAintNoLady Mon 02-Sep-13 11:23:04

I feel your pain! Went through exactly the same thing with my three when they were younger, as what with breastfeeding, then teething, illness, nightmares, wetting beds and so on, I got to the point where I seriously wondered whether it was worth going to bed at all because I knew that I would be woken up so many times by one or all of them at some point in the night. ON top of that, we usually ended up with at least one of them joining us in our bed, so that didn't make for a good nights sleep either.

Used to obsessively count how long I had gone without a proper nights sleep and it mounted up to years.......... Was so tired I couldn't string a sentence together some days, because having been woken a couple of times, I couldn't get back to sleep and had massive sleep deprivation and no chance of a lie in to catch up. DH and I used to compete over who had had the least sleep! If he got up with one of them, he always seemed to have the knack of falling asleep again quickly, whereas I couldn't if I had got up because one of them was ill, because I would be worried they were ok.

BUT, it does eventually get better, just hang in there as best you can. It takes you some time to adjust to being able to sleep again, so be prepared for that, as I found that even when they eventually slept, I would still keep waking as it had become a habit.

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 11:32:38

btw - my situation doesn't mean you'll never sleep again, sorry if I implied that! thanks

I'm an owl naturally, so I've always been up late, I used to study at night (less distraction) and rarely feel sleepy before midnight.
I do my best creative thinking between midnight and 2am (again less noise helps me focus) and have been known to sew all night coz I had the inspiration!

I hate mornings though...

hoppinMad Mon 02-Sep-13 11:47:42

Yanbu

Mine are 3.10 and nearly 1. Older dc was an absolute nightmare until 1.5, waking up up to 20 - yes 20 times in the night. I recall many a time sat in bed bawling my eyes out along with baby. I stopped breastfeeding and progressed to only 3 or4 awakenings, and now he is brilliant. May moan in his sleep once or twice occasionally and a quick shush or a whisper of 'its ok' instantly works.

Dc2 on the other hand is teething sad been a week of sleep deprivation, he wasn't too bad last night except dc1 needed the bloody toilet at midnight, so went to sleep after that and woke up at 4.30 wide awake, unable to fall back to sleep!

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 13:13:19

the eldest has always been a pretty good sleeper, bar sickness and random stuff, but since dd was born he's been dreadful. taking hours to go to bed, coming through to us in the night continually, deliberately waking his sister up because he thinks it's funny, deliberately hurting us i.e. we take him into our bed in desperation and he waits till we're asleep and starts poking, biting and headbitting us. i think most of it is jealousy. His sister is such an absymal sleeper, still up three or four times a night screaming the place down. I think he just sees the chaos and attention she gets and wants piece if it. doesn't help that she's still in our room. the plan was to get her in his room like a year ago, but she' too fucking noisy

purrpurr Mon 02-Sep-13 13:28:43

Zing, 6! shock Where do you put them all? What if they all wake up at the same time? Are you an octopus?!

In a desperate bid for sleep, I put my DD in bed with me this morning. She punched me in the face, bopped herself one then went fast asleep and snored for two hours. If she was tired enough for that, why was she farting about doing her sundial impression (stolen from MiaowTheCat) at 5am and then getting stuck and being all waaaah? Is it really that hard being a tiny baby? She's currently snoozing open-mouthed on my shoulder and I'm still in my pjs. And I look about 50. I'm 28. I've had to change all my make up shades from Ivory to Fucking Dead.

allthatglittersisnotgold Mon 02-Sep-13 13:47:11

I know I'm going to get flamed and I'm not being facetious(sp), but why do you all do it? Is the upside worth it? I'm thoroughly put off.

Mamatomanymunchkins Mon 02-Sep-13 13:53:48

Feeling for you all x

Mine are 11, 8, 5, 3 and 6 months ~ gave up with everyone having their own beds as all like / need to co-sleep. 2 super king and 2 king beds so they can snuggle in with whoever they choose without anyone being squashed or falling out bed. If too many come in with us DH just moves elsewhere! Basically, they can sleep where they like as long as everyone gets a sleep. Friends think sleeping arrangements in our house are mad but it works for us smile

I feel your pain. I have 7mo twins. I am so brain washed and dog tired that I consider being woken 5 times a good night. They will sleep eventually won't they?!

ElleBelly Mon 02-Sep-13 14:22:05

It's worth it, times a million. Now DS is fast asleep on me with boob drunk face, and DD amusing herself being a pirate I have forgiven them both. I am still in pjs and no lunch yet but ah motherhood!
You can quote me back to myself hourly tonight if you like....

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 14:37:10

purr the older four are no trouble as they don't cry and wake others up!

they all sleep in a big wardrobe on different shelves - we just shut the doorsgrin

we do "musical beds" a bit like the munchkins household (high 5! wink )
and DS5 is getting easier to settle (almost 3.5) when he wakes up.

last nighr he fell out of his bed. I heard the thump, heard the cry but I was making a cup of tea so I waited for a few minutes. he stopped whimpering after a minute, and when I checked on him soon after he was back in his bed, fast asleep.

and yes, my name real name is Paul, I'm an octopus and I predict that if unlike me you eventually stop having babies it will get better!

that is until they start coming home in the middle of the night and wake you up for reasons we all remember....grin

Monkeyandanimal Mon 02-Sep-13 14:45:35

same story here. YANBU.

At least there's nobody here saying they're up all hours with a 10year old. So 8 more years then?

purrpurr Mon 02-Sep-13 17:26:18

Zing - snort at them all sleeping in a big wardrobe! grin

My 2 yo who has previously been an excellent sleeper from 14 months hmm has started wakening in the night for daddy cuddles since having the chicken pox 2 weeks ago.

Dd, 8 months, was an excellent sleeper until 5 months. Now she is the devil, and a couple of nights last week had me up every half hour. I actually was horribly ill, and I'm sure it's because I'm so rundown and tired.

I empathise.

AngryFeet Mon 02-Sep-13 18:02:04

Mine are 8 and 6 and we have had unbroken nights for about 2 years now. It happens in the end smile

Deathbyladybirds Mon 02-Sep-13 18:05:48

Children are bastards. No one tells you this before you have them.

onepieceoflollipop Mon 02-Sep-13 18:08:33

It did happen for us in the end, dd2 was about 4 iirc. Thing is, even after 1.5 years of fairly good sleep, I am disproportionately unhappy if one of them wakes me now, even for genuine reasons. Oh and I do one night a week on call overnight (for work, not dcs!) and I begrudge every minute of it.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 02-Sep-13 18:27:21

PMDD is spot on with people telling you to enjoy their cute, tiny days but it's impossible to enjoy anything when you're so tired for so long. I thought their was something wrong with me for hating the time.

I do wonder sometimes how much (in my case) is pnd and how much is just being knackered.

Mine are 3 and 1 and we've had five-week stints of hourly wakings. They're better now but I could not do that first year with two again if you paid me.

NeopreneMermaid Mon 02-Sep-13 18:28:41

*there. See how tired I am (spent last night on floor of 3yo's room while she puked).

EugenesAxe Mon 02-Sep-13 22:08:10

I saw this last night and went searching for it specifically to find out your DCs ages. Ours are 3 and 1 (22m) and the other month they did both sleep through and we woke naturally. I realised how conditioned I'd become to stumbling out of bed to deal with one or other of them (even if only for a little while), as I felt amazing and wide-eyed in wonder.

Every now and then I think your thread title. I recite like a mantra 'It will pass'.

I'm not even that sleep deprived really; they usually settle quickly or DS can sleep with me happily and I'm not disturbed by him. It's just amazing how much a difference sleeping without being aroused at all makes to my energy levels.

washngo Mon 02-Sep-13 22:14:12

I have a 5yo, 3yo and a 5 month old. Last night I was up at 11, 1.00, 2.30, 5.30 then 7am. A good night. So tired I am balanced on the edge between just about holding it together and total hysteria.

thebody Mon 02-Sep-13 22:34:50

you never ever forget this torture of sleepless nights.

oldest 23 now was bloody awful until cc at 2.

other 3 as bad and all had cc... it was my magic spell. it was paradise pill.although I know not for everyone.

they do all eventually sleep and this holidays it's waking the teens up that's the problem.

but you don't want to hear that.

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