Aibu to think all siblings should be fair to their parents when they're grown ups? Bridezilla alert!

[Caffe1neAddict]

Trying to keep this non-ranty! My middle brother has got engaged after 6 months- nothing wrong with that. They have set the date for THREE years from now and have told all family to save the date. So far so reasonable but They have then decided they need to pay for the wedding, buy a house and have a baby not long after so moved back into my parents home, saying it would be for six months whilst they saved up someone money. 9 months later... Well they redecorated the room they're "temporarily" staying in, bought new bedroom furniture, bought a new fridge/freezer and installed it in my parents kitchen, knocking out a cupboard in process and insisted their pet rabbits stay in their room which have subsequently destroyed the wallpaper in my parents house but not offered to repair/compensate meanwhile they've bought rolls or designer wallpaper for their future house which so far does not exist! They've paid no bills or rent to my parents and this week are off on a holiday to New York where they've paid for helicopter rides etc.
But they haven't got enough money to buy any biirthday presents etc or chip in to household bills. In meantime I'm getting daily fb notices about wedding details- they've already put deposit down on venue, cake and started to order decorations.

Would I be unreasonable to tell them I think they're taking the piss with my parents?? And that three years is a long time to keep up that level of excitement??

[SarahAndFuck]

You should probably leave it to your parents to say something, unless there's a reason why your parents are not able to do so for themselves.

Not saying you are being unreasonable to want to say something though.

[HugoDarling]

Your parents are being U by enabling them. They are taking the piss though.

I wouldn't get involved, it always comes back to bite you on the arse.

[Mia4]

Why is it just bridezilla alert? It's your brother and his parents so if anything it should be groomzilla alert and it sounds more like 'lazy pisstaker alert' on their both parts.

I think YABU yes about their piss taking, your parents should be doing it themselves. If it doesn't come from them then your brother will not accept/believe or understand it-let alone believe. If you do it, it could just cause friction and if your parents don't take your side or agree with you completely then it also causes tension between you and them because they haven't been honest.

YANBU however regarding cake and decorations. Venue is still early, unless it's a very very popular one and gets booked up that early-ost are 18 months - 1 year in advance but you might want to regard them that with the others a) their venue could be refurbed and completely change colour -making decorations look wrong- and b) the cake place may go out of business before then or no longer supply.

[Mia4]

*YABU about going over your parents head and talking to DB and SIL2Be not for thinking they are pisstakers

[parakeet]

None of your business. Stay out of it.

[Sirzy]

It's up to your parents to sort. If they are daft enough to let it happen then there is nothing you can do to change that.

[BrokenSunglasses]

Your parents need to tell them if they aren't happy with the arrangement, but presumably they would have already said something at one of the many opportunities they will have had if they don't like it.

Some parents like their children living with them well into adulthood.

[AnneUulmelmahay]

Ofc the grownup thing to do is keep beak out but how difficult!. Up to your parents really.

Good luck.

[raisah]

I'd be surprised if they were still together after 3 years particularly because they got engaged after 6 months. Your parents should present them with a bill after they get back from their holiday. One of many no doubt ....

[trixymalixy]

Hmm, I had a friend who set a wedding date 3 years later. Funnily enough it never happened. He did get married 6 years later but to someone else

I feel really sorry for your parents, but it's up to them to stop this nonsense.

[ShadowSummer]

Yes, it sounds like they're taking the piss with your parents.

But it's really up to your parents to tell your DB that themselves.