AIBU to want to take a dump on my own?

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Sorry for being crass but I'm at the end of my tether! I need the loo. With closed doors. Alone.

[Nagoo]

YABU. I need this small playmobil coin removing from my nostril. NOW.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

At least you can breathe with the other nostril!

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

DS is 19m and likes to sit on my knee while I'm on the toilet. I've reached a point where I have to laugh about it or I might cry.

Revenge is going to be so sweet when he's a teenager.

[LadyBryan]

I have never got this.

Just shut the door. Leave children somewhere safe. It isn't going to damage them if they have a trantrum in the time it takes for you to go to the loo

[EagleRiderDirk]

My kids can open our bloody bathroom door (non functioning lock). OH has a new lock on his list of things to do. I just want to poo in peace, why is that so unreasonable??!?!?!

[ChairmanWow]

My DS will just stand outside and scream if I shut him out. It's actually preferable to dump in front of him. God, the indignity.

Tbh I'd also like a full night's sleep, a lie-in, a bath, an meal where I'm not constantly getting up to get more water/fruit/wipe up spilt drinks etc, a night out, not to take 15 mins to leave the bloody house....aaaarrrrgh!

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

My DD said to me yesterday, "you don't do poos, do you mummy?" because I always do them alone!! I feel for you on the lack of door lock. Can you wedge it shut with a chair or broom like they do on tv?!

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

He screams and then it's too much pressure to get it done quickly. Clearly my bowel has performance anxiety. Thankfully the sitting on the me phase is starting to pass, in favour of just meandering around the bathroom taking things off shelves.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Sorry, had to go out.

DD is 2 years abd 8 months. I was mopping the floor when the nature called me. I sat down snd the moment I did that, DD started to clean the floor.
'DD, leave the mop alone. OK, have the mop, just away from the walls. Tes, the walls. Don't touch the walls. That's right, there's a good girl. No, leave the gloor spray alone.'
3 times repeated. With each sentence I was ready to get up so butt mus les not very relaxed, I tell ypu.

Yes, I could've closed the door but the aftermath would've been disastrous.

[MTBMummy]

YANBU - this is exactly what I asked for when DP asked what I wanted for mothers day - I got a whole day of being able to go to the loo in peace, it was bliss...

I may ask for it for my birthday

[Andro]

EagleRiderDirk - replace the lock yourself?

[EagleRiderDirk]

andro If there was anyway to segregate the kids off some can use power tools I would. though if I could segregate the kids I wouldn't want the lock replaced. our loo for the record is downstairs leading off the living room.

[Andro]

EagleRiderDirk - now THAT is inconvenient! Um...buy the lock and off load the dc on your OH for a while maybe? Have some sympathy and anyway.

[EagleRiderDirk]

yeah, we bought the house pre dcs and the thought if a downstairs bathroom being a problem never crossed our minds then.

if anyone knows someone about to have a kid and they're looking at typical 1930s housing let them know they will never use the toilet again on their own...

[celestialbows]

I find it nigh on impossible to shit with toddlers tantrumming outside the bathroom. It kills my poo-buzz. I like to luxuriate and let it flow naturally not force it out risking piles because I'm scared of what devastation I might find when I open the door! Letting them come in is even worse as they want a running commentary as well as asking to check the used loo roll and look in the bowl. Plus dd has started asking about bloody tampons and wanting a good look at my privates to see how to compare to hers.

[ChairmanWow]

at poo-buzz.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

I went in the afternoon after all day of sluggishness in my stomach and it was lovely. Child was watching tv. Well, youtube on my phone but it was worth it.

[x2boys]

I would just like a bath on my own nearly seven sodding years having to share my bath!

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

I never have baths. Either it's too late in the evening to bother with one or if I wanted to have it pre-DD's bedtime, I'd have to factor in a floating poo in the relaxing soak. She just loves a good dump in the bathtub. All the weewees go in the toilet but poo likes to swim.