to be pissed off that everyone is saying I will "need to move house"?

(84 Posts)
MortifiedAdams Fri 26-Jul-13 22:32:07

We have just informed the family that we are expecting a second baby. The first things out of, without a doubt, each of their mouths has been about us needing to.move.

We live in a two bed ground floor victorian terraced flat. The rooms are, pardon, fucking huge. The children will be two years apart so will share a room,.and probably the most.of their toys.

So.whh why why do.people need to question it? With actual serious concerned faces? My friend has a newbuild three bed which, while.it is nice, is smaller, square footage wise.

It might be the hormones but I would just like a grin and a "congratulations". FFS my Dad is scpurong the net looking for 'reasonable' three beds....like.we are in some.sort of emergency situation. I love my flat!

ThereGoesTheYear Sun 28-Jul-13 02:04:40

Congratulations! We have an empty room because my DC prefer to share. I felt the same as a child and much preferred to share a room. (I would creep into a sib's bed as soon as I could.)

everlong Sun 28-Jul-13 02:03:43

Just remembering when I was pg with ds5.
We had 3 other ds's living at home which was a 3 bed 2 reception rooms, kitchen and dining room cottage.
Beautiful but small.

We had just been for our 20 week scan and was on the way out when I bumped into someone I knew.

She was flabbergasted at me being pregnant and said ' what and you're still in that house ' well that was enough for DH..,the week after the house was on the market and we moved into a bigger house when ds5 was teeny. All very stressful.

Some people need to think before opening their traps.

everlong Sun 28-Jul-13 01:57:56

Ignore if you can, easier said than done I know.

People are just dicks sometimes.

Congrats!

TheBitchInTheHouse Sun 28-Jul-13 01:54:20

Congratulations, and also THANKYOU for starting this thread. I live in a small house, one large bedroom and a small boxroom. I have two, a boy 2.5 and a one year old girl. I had the same reaction as you "you'll need to move" and "how will you manage with two". Well i manage just fine. I don't want to break my back paying off a massive mortgage for the sake of having more space. My mortgage is low and so I don't have to stress so much about it. I'd rather stay where I am and be a happy stress free mummy. Most importantly my daughter was born in this house so I don't want to leave. I didn't realise there were so many others in the same situation and fine with it. Thanks, everyone.

ChippingInHopHopHop Sun 28-Jul-13 00:31:38

Congratulations!!

People are weird - ignore them smile

deakymom Sun 28-Jul-13 00:28:09

i had to move as there is and eight year age gap between my daughter and my son now we have had a third and people are squeaking about moving but the room is plenty big enough

the thing that annoys me more is people telling me get rid of you cats they will KILL the baby umm they live outside and they HATE babies and avoid them at all costs

treacleturkey Sat 27-Jul-13 15:46:35

ps. Congratulations! grin

treacleturkey Sat 27-Jul-13 15:45:45

i grew up as one of five kids; my 3 sisters shared a room til they were 18, and myself and my brother shared til we were 11 and 13 (not as bad, i know!)

Some people dont seem to realise how lucky most of us are in this country just to have a roof over our heads and food to eat.

MidniteScribbler Sat 27-Jul-13 15:23:56

I am slightly obsessed with british real estate porn, but it always astonishes me at the people moving "for more space" when I look at their houses and think "or you could just throw out half the crap you own".

I actually dream of downsizing to a small place. I want minimal house space, so a lot less cleaning (not to mention several acres of land to maintain). I'd love a little two bed place for DS and I with maybe a little terrace (the aussie in me must have some outdoor space). It would actually force me to spend more time getting out and about and seeing things, rather than rattling around in a big house that takes ages to clean, and costs a heap in maintenance.

Good for you OP. Enjoy your house and your new baby.

smokinaces Sat 27-Jul-13 10:45:19

I moved from a three bed to a two bed with two dcs! Their room is bigger, the house is bigger and in a nicer area and at five and six they can share for a long time. This whole needing their own room thing is very modern.

Congratulations!!

DigestivesAndPhiladelphia Sat 27-Jul-13 10:32:05

Congratulations!

I know just how you feel and it is very annoying. We went from 2 to 4 children (obviously the twins bit was unexpected) in a 3 bed flat. I got totally fed up with being quizzed about where they would all sleep (we have two in each room) and told "You'll need a bigger house" from people who hadn't even said congratulations.

We are planning to move at some point but we're happy as we are for now. I had one friend (who I no longer think of as a friend because of this) who greeted me with : "Where will they all SLEEP?" as soon as I saw her, without a congratulations. She then questioned me about it the next time I saw her (after I had patiently explained the sleeping arrangements). THEN, this friend visited in hospital when I was recovering from a crash c-section... and she started questioning DH in detail about the size each room and how the sleeping arrangements would work!! hmm Even DH thought it was bizarre and most things go over his head.

She is otherwise lovely, but the constant interrogation about bedrooms has really put me off this person. She happens to live in a huge house and I could only feel as though she was judging me in a negative way and that she was unable to hide it.

Anyway, sorry to digress there, it's obviously still a bit of a sore subject grin

Congratulations again!

IfIonlyhadsomesleep Sat 27-Jul-13 10:12:44

The best "oh but we'll have to move now" argument I heard was from someone who felt they'd need an extra bedroom when number three arrived otherwise they would have to share when their occasional overnight visiting mother came. They might want to move, but need was very far away from the truth.
Op big bedroom to share trumps shoebox on your own IMO, although both are fine.

Ah, pff. You stay where you love.
You never need move at all. Partitioning is very flexible and used a lot for a reason.

Bunbaker Sat 27-Jul-13 10:00:38

Congratulations.

I grew up in a 2 bedroom ground floor flat, with large rooms and a huge garden. It was in a naice area as well. My sister is 17 months younger than me and we shared a bedroom. We weren't deprived in any way.

I must admit that I hated sharing with my sister as she was extremely untidy and I am very tidy, but other than that it didn't do me any harm.

I guess that if your children are of different of different sex then it will become important when they are older, but that will be ages away.

"I grew up sharing a room as there are 11 of us and it was fine."

shockGulp

As a teen my darling cousin lived with us. Female and same age as me. More like my sister than a cousin.
Enough bedrooms in parental home for one each but we chose to share and have spare room as teen living room. Was fab grin

amandine07 Sat 27-Jul-13 09:46:04

Congratulations OP! smile
You are definitely not BU, your flat sounds fabulous, I live in a new build flat and while it's lovely, modern and new there just isn't that much space.

Older properties, especially flat conversions, have the high ceilings and much more floor space.

Sorry your family/parents are reacting like this, they sound like mine. I mentioned us starting a family next year with the OH and my parents were insisting "but you don't own a property yet" and that we need to do things in the "correct" order.
This made me laugh as both my younger siblings had babies before getting married and one was still renting a flat (the horror!)

Well, I'm heading towards 36 and so don't have time til the property market becomes affordable- we need to just get on with it! Having a baby that is...

I've got friends/family members who are waiting to buy a bigger home before trying for baby no. 2 or 3
I can see the sensible side to this but equally, having a baby is not always that easy when you come to trying- I think you may as well just get on with it.

Sorry I am rambling...

EnlightenedOwl Sat 27-Jul-13 09:33:22

we had five of us plus mum and dad house small 3bed semi bed 3 being boxroom.
two boys in boxroom (just!) three girls in the other bigger bedroom and mum and dad in other largish bedroom
easy!
only concession they made was put an extension on the downstairs to create more living space.

ShoeWhore Sat 27-Jul-13 09:33:22

Congratulations OP!

My younger two share and it's fine, lovely in fact. The majority of their friends share too. I can see them wanting their own space in years to come but I think you are a good 10 years off that!

MrsOakenshield Sat 27-Jul-13 09:31:40

oh, and I grew up in a 4 bed house but my sister and I shared for years, at one point in bunk beds in the smallest room! Loved it.

MrsOakenshield Sat 27-Jul-13 09:30:41

out of interest, are you English OP? The reason I ask is that my Glaswegian mum and all my Glaswegian relatives grew up in/live in huge 3/4 bedrooms flats in Glasgow or Edinburgh and it seems this is much more the norm up there that in England, where we are obsessed with having a house and a garden. And it's very common on the Continent, isn't it, living in flats with no garden? Friend in Paris (English, as a matter of fact) couldn't understand why a garden was neccesary - 'that's what parks are for!')

A friend had a similar problem in that they were in a huge 2 bed flat but wanted to move to a house (girl/boy sharing, older girl age 7 getting a bit fed up of boy's bad sleeping) and found it nearly impossible to find a house with similarly proportioned rooms, or indeed more square footage.

Oh, and congratulations!

signorapacino Sat 27-Jul-13 09:30:00

Congratulations thanks Start praying that your second dc is the same sex as your first or everyone's head will explode!!! If its a different sex the will be all "well that's it you'll def have to move now.........." Stick to your guns op and good luck with your pregnancy. X

FoofFighter Sat 27-Jul-13 09:23:46

We live in a one bedroomed cottage and I am about to have a baby, we've also had the pressure from the out-laws to move, but why? Most babies end up sharing the parents room for at least 6 months anyway so what's the point in rushing?
Yes, we accept that by a year old we really will need to get a 2 bedded place but I'm not knocking myself out moving whilst pregnant, sod that!

MadeOfStarDust Sat 27-Jul-13 09:19:15

We live in a 3 bed - but our 2 DDs decided to keep sharing anyhow...

Rooners Sat 27-Jul-13 09:18:11

We live in a similar flat by the sound of it, but one of the bedrooms isn't huge, it's pretty small (room for a bed and possibly one other thing, but that's about it)

But I have already got two larger children and have just had a baby

I'm now sharing with ds2 and 3, ds1 has his own room

It is getting difficult.

You should be fine though.

MortifiedAdams Sat 27-Jul-13 09:16:27

We used to use the Master as the Lounge, the Lounge as a dining rm nd the 'little' bedroom was ours. Then when dd came along we moved into thw master, lounge into the real lounge and dd into the back bedroom.

In essence, we could swap rooms, once they start wating sleepovers etx, and the room.is big enough to split into two large rooms if needed.

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