To not want DP to have a 10-man poker match at home...

(20 Posts)
mayorquimby Sun 16-Jun-13 21:07:56

Completely unreasonable

Bue Sun 16-Jun-13 20:48:52

How would you feel if it were reversed? If you had moved into DP's house with few possessions and he wouldn't let you have 10 friends over while he was away? I think you'd feel seriously miffed, and rightly so!

Can't you have an adult discussion with him and make it clear you expect no breakage of your stuff and a full clean-up afterwards? If those criteria are met, I can't even see how this affects you!

whistleahappytune Sun 16-Jun-13 20:48:32

YABU. Is he your partner? Or your child?

cantdoalgebra Sun 16-Jun-13 20:44:46

Sorry, I mean YANBU.

cantdoalgebra Sun 16-Jun-13 20:42:35

YNBU - I would be deeply uncomfortable with this too, even if I was in the house and even if he contributed to the mortgage. As it is, it is your house, he is not your husband, you have only lived together for a few months, and he is inviting people you do not know in in what is a slightly odd situation. A 10 person (not friends) poker match? That would be a deal breaker for me. What is going on?

estrella79 Sun 16-Jun-13 20:16:53

10 is the max - that's why he has a 10 person poker table.

estrella79 Sun 16-Jun-13 20:15:55

Complexnumber - Apparently you can play poker with 10 people. I only learned that from him tonight myself as I've never played before either (I assumed it was fewer, which was why I wasn't remotely bothered by this gathering before)

I don't want to be unreasonable and haven't said anything to him about my feelings of unease. I know it's his home too - he pays half the bills, etc, he's no cocklodger. I guess it still feels more like my home though as he moved in with no furniture / very few personal possessions (he was renting before).

There will be hangover style drinking - the getting drunk itself doesn't bother me - it's more the potential glass breakages / drink spillages / my stuff getting ruined as a consequence of that. I know I'm probably over thinking things, I'm just not used to living with someone!!!

ParadiseChick Sun 16-Jun-13 20:15:36

You could do hold `em in a couple of groups in a tournament kind of way.

livinginwonderland Sun 16-Jun-13 20:15:36

YABU. You let him move in, so it's just as much his home as it is yours.

ghayes Sun 16-Jun-13 20:11:12

Wouldn't you run out of cards? At least if you play texas hold em. There's only 52 cards in a deck. Unless you use 2 decks. I don't know how that would work.

complexnumber Sun 16-Jun-13 20:05:24

Can you play poker with 10 people?

(Genuine question, never really played before)

YABU. Seriously. How would you feel if the situations were reversed and he said you couldn't invite your friends to your home? The LTBs would be flying like confetti.

The jumping the gun on the date isn't great, but not a huge deal.

ilovesooty Sun 16-Jun-13 20:01:11

Another who thinks YABU, sorry. It's his home too.

stealthsquiggle Sun 16-Jun-13 19:56:47

YABU. Either it is his home or I isn't.

parakeet Sun 16-Jun-13 19:56:22

It's his home too - now. You made that decision when you agreed he could move in with you. Do you want him to feel like a lodger? This would be a deal breaker if I were him.

NatashaBee Sun 16-Jun-13 19:55:10

It's his house too. Unless you know these people can't be trusted based on a previous experience with them, then YABU.

IsotopeMe Sun 16-Jun-13 19:54:37

Yabu. it is both of your house as a couple.

Massively so, sorry.

It's his home too.

Unless you think he's going to be having a house wrecking, Hangover-style piss up (and if you think that I'd have to question why you've moved in with him), then fgs you do need to unclench about this.

ParadiseChick Sun 16-Jun-13 19:51:47

In a word yes.

He's not your nineteen year old son. He's your partner, you're equal.

You live together, he has everything to entertain in his home.

estrella79 Sun 16-Jun-13 19:48:41

I've been with DP for 2 years, he moved in with me in January. I'm very houseproud, have spent a lot of time and money making the house I bought 8 years ago look and feel like a home. To say that DP is less houseproud is an understatement, but he cooks / pulls is weight in other areas, so it's not a huge issue.

Through him I made a great female friend, whose mum recently passed away. She suggested going on a girly weekend away to have something to look forward to after several months of crap for her.

DP asked if I minded him hosting a poker match at our house when I was away - the idea was to invite three friends of his whom I know. I said no problem - just don't invite people until I'm sure when we're definitely going away - date is only provisional at this point.

I speak to him today, a week on from this and find out that not only has he steamed ahead and already invited people on the provisional date, but he has invited 10 blokes, 7 of whom I have never met or even heard of!

I have to admit that the thought of people I don't know in my home when I am away makes me feel really uncomfortable. DP said that I should trust his judgment and it's not that I think he would invite anyone "dodgy", it's just the thought of so many strangers amongst my personal possessions that makes me feel really uneasy. I'm trying my best to see it as "our" home and let him get on with it without my interference, but I know I'm going to feel awkward about this the entire time I'm away! AIBU?

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