Evening meal 6.30 for 9&11 yo DC's is NOT 'too late'...

(141 Posts)
wol1968 Fri 17-May-13 14:15:35

I'm fed up of DH chuntering and grumbling if I don't get the DCs' dinner done before 6pm. I do aim to do it, and we all do have dinner eaten and cleared up before 7pm on most nights. But with the best will in the world, I get days when my timing slips. Interruptions happen, preparation takes longer than intended, sometimes I'm not on form, I get sidetracked and my organisation is crap. AIBU to get really annoyed when 'D' H starts rolling his eyes and making critical mutterings about what I should have done when and know darn well exactly what I should have done when but I was being crap and didn't ? AIBU to be even more annoyed when we then get an 'unexpected' phone call from MIL (who always did 'tea' at five when hers were kids) in the middle of our meal, and H then has to disappear into the next room with the phone, pretending to have eaten, with me being the one to keep the kids quiet in the kitchen?

He says he does this so his mum doesn't tell him off. I told him it was none of his mum's business what time we had our evening meal. And I don't think 6.30 or thereabouts is that catastrophic for 9-11 year-olds anyway, is it? 7.30 might be taking the mick a bit on school nights, I suppose...

Off to keep up with the ironing.

KatyTheCleaningLady Mon 20-May-13 18:31:13

I'm rarely home by 5,and neither is dh!

If you are eating so late the kids aren't getting enough sleep, then it's a problem. Other than that, it's whatever works for you and your family!

IfNotNowThenWhen Mon 20-May-13 18:13:13

Why thank you ladyclarice!

DollyClothespeg Mon 20-May-13 13:01:46

I'd class 6.30 for tea late, as they're usually in bed for half seven in this house (yes, even the 9 year old! grin
We usually have tea about 5ish. Any later and they're declaring they're dying of hunger. hmm
It's absolutely bog all to do with your MIL, that'd wind me right up! Everybody's different. Just because she did it at that time doesn't mean you have to.

valiumredhead Mon 20-May-13 12:49:37

Can't we all be different?
We eat any time between 4 and 7 depending on activities/work. We eat together. If I eat late then I snack before so I prefer to eat early and it works for me if I'm exercising/working later. If the kids eat early they'll have a snack when they get in later too.
I have lots of friends who eat late, but feed their kids earlier. Or all eat later. I used to think people who ate later were either foreign or posh, but then I grew up a bit!
I think the real issue is your dh, ruled by his mother and quite happy to treat you like crap.

This ^

Surely, if you can afford or justify something is a joint decision. Do you get a say in the household accounts and how the money is allocated. I do the household accounts side of things but DH has an equal say on what we spend and how we spend it. We both also have some pocket money each month that we spend how we like.

wol1968 Mon 20-May-13 11:29:08

Cheers everyone, thanks for the perspective! thanks I've always thought H was a bit neurotic and OCD about some things. He's not lazy and he doesn't sit around - in fact, sometimes I wish he did, he's always on the go in the evenings with allotment stuff/DIY/household accounts etc. etc., all very thrilling and fascinating as I'm sure you can imagine hmm...and of course he's better at housework than I am - he's a great one for finding corners of dust behind heavy cupboards that I haven't been able to get to, not being much of a weightlifter. And of course, all this busyness in the evenings makes me feel much too guilty to sit and relax. Hence Mumsnet when he's not here. grin

I'd love for us to actually go out somewhere to enjoy ourselves. Nothing much. A film, maybe, or a concert, or a meal out of an evening. But I know what he'll say. 'We can't afford/justify it'. Miserable sod. Last of the big spenders, us...

HerrenaHarridan Sun 19-May-13 15:57:08

Pretending to his mother he has eaten is pathetic and spineless.

My 16mo eats dinner at 18.30 as a matter of course.

If he wants it serves at a particular time he had best cook it.

*disclaimer my ex regularly used to serve 'dinner' at 1 am by which time I hd usually given up and gone to bed. He would considerately wake me for it though hmm

Lweji Sun 19-May-13 15:00:03

I've never had dinner before 7:30 and that's when DS was younger too.

Surely 5pm is tea time (meaning light snack in the middle of the afternoon), not dinner.

Londonseye Sun 19-May-13 14:54:42

630 used to be "very late" when my kids were younger. But the older they get the less late it seems. We eat at 5-6pm ish as that suits us. Sometimes we don't have a dinner time at all and eat on the go! Glad my MIL couldn't care less, but if she did, she would be told to mind her own.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Sun 19-May-13 14:42:17

'But your husband is a cock. Tell him to get his pinny on if he wants it earlier.
Good Lord, sometimes I come on here and thank my lucky stars I don't have some knob of a husband to answer to.'

EXACTLY. IfNotNow, you're my new hero.

Wolfiefan Sat 18-May-13 14:53:19

My 3 year old needs to eat at about 5 or 5:30. My 9 year old could happily wait. If the kids aren't shattered (at 6pm I'd say unlikely!) or fading away from hunger, then what's the problem. Why should anyone who doesn't live in your house dictate when you eat?!? Weird!

LifeHuh Sat 18-May-13 14:35:52

Always interesting to see how other people live!
We have never eaten before about 6 - we ate together when DH got home from work,with a bit of juggling if anyone was exceptionally hungry or tired.
Neither DD or DS went to bed before 8.30-9ish,even (especially!) when they were babies,DD particularly treated an early night as a late nap for years and would be wide awake and raring to go just when we wanted to sleep....
I can't get to 8ish without eating without getting really tetchy,but couldn't eat at 5 either!

DH should cook tea himself if he wants it done earlier,and man up and admit to MIL that no,he can't talk because you all are eating.What can she do,for heavens sake?

How odd! We don't have dinner until 7-8ish, quite often that's DS 20 months too. If he's tired and hungry because he's not napped, he eats earlier before going to bed, but for the most point we all eat together. I like it.

I grew up with always having dinner at 6. Dad would walk through the door at 5:45 and mom would serve dinner not long after. It was nice, but it doesn't work for my family

arabesque Sat 18-May-13 14:22:30

Tell your DH that times have changed. The days when mothers all stayed at homd, served up dinner during the day and had the children's tea on the table the minute Blue Peter was over are gone. Nowadays a lot of mothers are out at work, at least part time, and are only getting home at about 6 o'clock (if they're lucky). As a result a lot of fathers now get involved in making the evening meal as opposed to complaining if it's not on the table at the same time every evening. And a lot of people have now got out of the habit of eating very early in the evening ( and as a result raiding the bread bin or biscuit jar at 8pm) and are quite happy to eat later or keep meal times a bit fluid.
As for lying to his mum in case she tells him off for not having dinner over by 6.30 - does she also pop over every evening to read him a story and iron his shirt for tomorrow?

MirandaWest Sat 18-May-13 14:15:42

We eat at different times depending on what activates the DC have. Tuesday is early as DD has Brownies at 6:30 so eat about 5:45 ish. Wednesday is about 6 as DS has cubs at 6:45. Other days are around 6:30 to 7:00 ish. DC are 9 and 7

LaQueen Sat 18-May-13 13:45:07

"The ones person I know whose DH insisted on a cooked meal every night at a specified time was married to a big old bully"

Agree Jaime the only person I've known to get all anxious if the dinner wasn't on the table, on the dot of 5.30pm was my MIL. She would jump through hoops to ensure this happened, in order to please my FIL...

She even carried on ensuring that Sunday dinner was prepared, and on the table for 5.30pm, even when he stopped ever coming home from the pub, for it shock

Ironic, really...I've never cooked Sunday dinner for DH, in nearly 22 years...and, there's MIL concscientiously cooking it every Sunday, for her DH who never eats it hmm

Remotecontrolduck Fri 17-May-13 21:51:57

6:30 is NOT too late. Tell him to sort it out himself if he wants it earlier.

What is with some men honestly.

We always ate later than most people, DD has made it to 19 without any issues or dying of starvation.

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 17-May-13 21:47:02

We eat at 6. But your husband is a cock. Tell him to get his pinny on if he wants it earlier.
Good Lord, sometimes I come on here and thank my lucky stars I don't have some knob of a husband to answer to.

nenevomito Fri 17-May-13 21:18:54

On the weekend we eat at 5ish but 6ish during the week. But I'm in the frozen north and we need sustenance early to stay alive.

deleted203 Fri 17-May-13 21:18:06

We eat at 7.00pm every night, because that's what time DH gets in from work.

DCs are aged 21 - 7.

nenevomito Fri 17-May-13 21:17:02

grin @ Plomino

FuckThisShit Fri 17-May-13 21:11:35

DD3 is 4 1/4 and we eat supper around 7 on school nights. Weekends it'll be anywhere between 7 and 9.

Our usual dinner time when DP is working is around 6:15 to 6:30. We've done this since DCs were young and they are 13 and 9 now.

They have a snack when they get home from school and we like to eat together as a family.

And unless it's urgent, anyone calling us when we are eating gets told we'll call back.

SacreBlue Fri 17-May-13 21:04:03

Ditto cory sometimes I think I will explode a blood vessel if my DS claims 'starvation' again 10mins after already eating.

It is good practice <serious face> to get kids and mummy's boys to get their own food if they are too hungry to wait and to stop unnecessary interruptions at mealtimes. I'm fine if someone inadvertently calls during dinner - can't be helped occasionally - but pretending not to be busy/eating? Um not after the first couple of times!

BOF Fri 17-May-13 20:43:25

Plomino, you sound like a formidable woman grin

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