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aibu to realize marriage isnt like a fairy tale?

(58 Posts)
littlediamond33 Sat 11-May-13 10:23:11

Iam 34 years old and have been brought up to believe that your husband should be a knight in shining armour, protecting you,looking after you etc etc. (my parents were happily married and had 'traditional' roles within that marriage for 40 years until my father passed away) while iam an 'independant' lady (i have my own career,bank account ,friends, interests etc!!) i feel that my husband who, i have to say is lovely and hard working just 'lets me get on with things' without being a 'strong alpha male' and backing me up.I am sorry this makes me sound like an imature nutter, but only got married last september and it isnt how i imagined!

scottishmummy France Sat 11-May-13 17:52:14

god your poor husband has to live with your princess's expectations
you know what he's probably a regular nice guy,the irregularity is your stereotypical expectations
ease up a bit,stop trying to make him be alpha ale.and you stop acting like a wee wifey

Tigresswoods Sat 11-May-13 17:55:54

Urge

Tigresswoods Sat 11-May-13 17:56:05

Urgh.

ElectricSheep Sat 11-May-13 17:56:10

Is like a fairy tale really what you mean OP?

Or do you mean a relationship with mutual affection, warmth and respect?

From your other thread, I could understand why you might feel that your DH needs to support and appreciate you more. YOu might be able to get clearer on what you expect from your marriage if you go over to relaitionships and start a thread there.

Please can people read the other thread. Or, OP please tell people what your expectation of behaviour is. Because some of the 'funny' jabs and the judgement will be feeding into the OP's frankly abusive relationship and low self worth.

OP, please tell people about the glasses on this thread. Please.

BalloonSlayer Sat 11-May-13 18:45:08

There is only one post from the OP on that thread.

It's a bit odd TBH.

Why hasn't she got a credit card? Why did she need glasses in such an emergency? What was the matter with her old ones? Did she tell her H that she was going to have to take out a payday loan or just do it because he said no?

Vacuum cleaners are nothing like as expensive as glasses. You can get a cheap vacuum cleaner for £20-£25. He might have had that money but not enough for a pair of glasses.

Most of these questions were asked by posters but the OP did not come back to answer any of them.

I don't feel able to call the OP's DH an arse quite so readily on the basis of one post as some people do.

cory Sat 11-May-13 18:48:51

Regardless of whether the OPs dh is an arse or whether the OP had unrealistic expectations, I think there is only one reasonable standard to be set in marriage and that has nothing to do with fairytales:

are my partner and I treating each other with mutual support and consideration in the way that decent adults do?

If that isn't happening, there's something wrong with the relationship. Simple.

ElectricSheep Sun 12-May-13 00:01:19

Good question Cory.

OP, I think you might have an emotionally abusive DH and are just waking up to and admitting that things don't feel right in your marriage. Get over to relationships where there are lots of women who've been in similar situations and can advise you.

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