To think she's a idiot.

(58 Posts)
Altinkum Sun 21-Apr-13 09:22:05

About 2 years ago, a mutual friend took my eldest for a group play date (both were 4-5ish) her son is a hitter and a bitter.

On the play date her son hit my ds and unfortunetly my ds had a toy Hoover in his hand, and hit the son. Apparently this caused the child to have internal bleeding in his ear.
We apologised profoundly but didn't chastise ds, other than to say he should NOT hit with a object.

Normally we would say, tell x, never hit back etc but this child, however after numerous biting incidents, and hitting incidents dh told ds to hit back.

Anyway that was two years ago.

We can't separate the boys as they are in the same class at school and also play in the same grouping friends but me as dh do keep a eye on them when together.

Last week as a friends house ds and another friends child (A) was playing football and and X child didn't want to play, but wanted to play with A, who didn't want to play the game X wanted.

With that X went up to ds and kicked and pursued him over, ds started crying as he grazed his hand (boys are not 7 now).

X mum just sat their saying nothing, while I cleaned up but did go outside to tell A he had to play X game. hmm

I should state, that their was 5 other children present who were playing tig, skipping ropes etc.... So not as if X was alone.

When I came back everyone was quiet and looked puzzled but injust left it.

On Friday I find out that X mum will never tell her child off, because she will never get over that "the little shit gave her son internal bleeding and as far as she's concerned he can hit away"

My ds does not hit, in all this time he has hit once child, which was hers, he's not a angel he is a stroppy little mite, but he gets along with everyone, and he's never really been in a situation where he needs to hit, as he just walks away.

I'm furious and can't even look at the friend, ds says when x hits him he always tells the teacher, or us, which he does.

So I'm now torn what to tell ds, do we tell him to continue telling a adult or tell him to hit back.

Her son knows he can hit out child, and nothing will be done to him.

I see her everyday at the school and currently I can't even look at her, I find her whole attuide vile.

There is more to this but ie kept it short.

snooter Sun 21-Apr-13 22:27:12

"Internal bleeding" she's fussing about. It will have been a little cut just inside the fleshy part of the ear, long since healed up without any adverse consequences, unless a toy hoover has some sort of sharp prong that could go right down the lughole. This woman sounds very odd & a complete pain.

simplesusan Sun 21-Apr-13 22:45:54

You have done the right thing telling this mother that your ds will not be playing with her ds.

I would stop all out of school contact immediately. If your ds is invited to another friend's house, I would ask if this child is going and if so say sorry, he can't come and then explain why. I would let all the parents know that your ds is not allowed to be left alone with this child and then it is upto them to make up their own minds.
Go into school and explain the situation, ask that they keep an eye out.

Now tell your ds that it is not ok to hit, ever.

Also start and socialise away from this group. Try out activities away from school. I agree with the poster who mentioned scouts. let your ds experience a new, peaceful, calm side to life. Encourage other activities. Tbh I would not have let it get this far, I would have removed my dc from this terrible situation earlier.

pigletmania Sun 21-Apr-13 23:05:56

Tbh I would tell the parent and have little to do with her and her ds

Altinkum Mon 22-Apr-13 07:01:20

The other child does scouts, so for that reason we haven't enrolled ds, he does play football 3 days a week tho, as with judo.

Altinkum Mon 22-Apr-13 07:02:54

The thing is I'm really upset that in actually losing my friends, not the mum as they are lovely, and don't want to lose me.

Altinkum Mon 22-Apr-13 07:07:40

Just seems unfair that other mum gets to continue with her live with MY friends, and mine and ds1, have to change ours because of a child.

I need to protect my son and will be keeping to the no contact, in order to protect him, but woke this morning feeling really resentful of the whole situation as its me and ds who is missing out, and he himself is feeling punished, as he is not going to X party, this weekend, while all his friends are, we can't even make it up to him as we are both working.

Jinty64 Mon 22-Apr-13 07:11:58

You don't need to lose your other friends. Make a point of inviting them over, just don't invite the other Mum. You may miss out on some things but, if you invite some of them individually, I'm sure you will be invited back.

hairtearing Mon 22-Apr-13 10:43:14

My god what an awful attitude, I've had aggression issues with a DC in the past and the best is to talk top them ask them why etc,

I also heavily judge so called parents who swear around/about kids its says a lot about their moral compass.

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