To think there are some things my parents did, that I would never do with my own?

(99 Posts)
gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 13:12:18

Of course, having a baby makes you see you own parents' parenting style in a new light, but...
1. People complain that kids today have no freedom. Well, we had loads. Total freedom, for hours on end, to roam around the neighbourhood in a feral style. No curfew, no set dinner time. This was 70s/80s.
2. My parents never taught (or got anyone else to teach) me to swim. This irks me now. I'm still a bit nervous in water.
3. They would buy me nice books, (first world problem here, ok) but nobody ever read me a story. If some of the books were a bit too difficult for me they just put me off and dented my confidence.
Suddenly these things just seem a bit sad. AIBU?

glossyflower Fri 12-Apr-13 17:05:04

Oh and my DH's father decided he wanted to make a homemade bomb. I shit you not! He asked his parents for permission though, and his father agreed only if he would do it properly and safely and to follow the proper instructions.
Which he did.
Then went and let off the explosives on a secluded beach.
Don't know how old he was but young enough to still be living at home and needing permission to do so.
shock

whippetwoman Fri 12-Apr-13 17:09:07

My parents would take us on holiday to the South of France to stay in a friends house (water from the well, no toilet, bats flying around inside, middle of nowhere).

They would drive us to a village, eat at a restaurant or commune (there were a few communes near by that would feed you for a small sum), drink loads of wine and then drive back down pitch dark roads that literally hugged the hillsides with a huge drop down a gorge on the other side, owls looming out of the darkness etc. We were stood up on the back seat with no seat belts on chatting away. We loved it but there's no way I'd do that now!

MortifiedAdams Fri 12-Apr-13 17:13:29

My DM wouldnt let ne have a fringe because she didnt like thenlm
She never showed me how or let me shave my legs or pluck my euebrows because I was "beautiful regardless"
I had to sit at the table.til.my plate was empty.

Thankfully she got all her madness out.of the way with me and when my sister came along seven years later, behaved entirely normal.

Pandemoniaa Fri 12-Apr-13 17:15:44

I see we have reached the explosives stage of the debate. My dm refused to allow me to have a chemistry set because, quite rightly, she feared the explosive potential in my hands. However, I was not discouraged from making small explosive experiments with whatever black powder remained in discharged fireworks on the day after Bonfire Night. All she asked was that I confined my activities to the bottom of the garden lest things went wrong and I blew the glass in the verandah out.

CelticPixie Fri 12-Apr-13 17:18:22

My dad used to take me to the pub with him on Saturday afternoons. This wasn't a family friendly place of the kind we are used to now either it was a proper mans pub! A dive really, but he'd take me with him as a treat some weeks and I used to love it. I'd have a little glass bottle of coke with a straw in it and I'd play with the dominos while my dad watched me from the bar. Sometimes he'd life me up and let me have a go at throwing darts at the dart board grin or pot some balls on the pool table and I loved the fruit machine! I can't have been anymore than six at the time.

VeryObviousBeforeNameChange Fri 12-Apr-13 17:23:18

My dad took me to the local pub and it was on a friday or saturday when they had a stripper/pole dance on. I can only vaguely remember my dad talking to her and us having a bit of a dance! I think i must have been about 3/4/5

Iwantmybed Fri 12-Apr-13 17:26:45

Its funny I've been thinking about this a lot. I think it was actually easier to parent in generations gone by as they didn't have as much "advice" and "guidelines" to be adhered to. I think they took advice from their parents and elders and used common sense. There's a sense of scare mongering around now that almost everything we do can damage our children and parents are to blame for "broken Britain". I think I'd have liked to have been a parent (not housewife though) in the 70s/ 50s etc to have the freedom of parenting without the fear of failure that is portrayed in media.

Iwantmybed Fri 12-Apr-13 17:28:33

Oops went a bit serious there hmm

Good thread op, sorry if I went off on a tangent.

Happydotcom Fri 12-Apr-13 17:33:08

Smoke in the car with dc in tow.

Smoke in their bedrooms

Can't think why I have asthma!!

EuroShaggleton Fri 12-Apr-13 17:35:30

TTC here so no kids yet, but I imagine a huge difference will be smoking. My mum gave up when she became pregnant with me. My dad was supposed to give up when I was born (not much was known about passive smoking around pregnant women back then). He gave up when I was 22 and living in France... The car was often a fug a smoke, as was the living room in the evening. I hated it and used to wheeze when I had to run at school. I don't have asthma, apparently, it was just the smoking! I must have been passive smoking the equivalent about 20 a day through my whole childhood. shock

Oblomov Fri 12-Apr-13 17:40:53

I do alot of the things you lot don't like. And am proud to do so. I spit and wipe. Dh occassionally takes ds1 to the pub to watch football games. Coke and crisps seems like total bliss when you are young. Nothing's changed that alters that.

bettycocker Fri 12-Apr-13 17:47:38

"I used to be allowed to have an alcoholic drink on special occasions.
A snowball aged about 7 ... Yummy!"

Yy, or the occasional Babycham or Baileys too.

Do people still do this?

gail734 Fri 12-Apr-13 18:01:04

betty I'm donning my flame retardant suit as I type, but I honestly think that mystifying alcohol and never letting them try it before their 18th birthdays will make it more attractive? I'd like to be altogether more French about it!

Iwantmybed I went round a baby shop before pfb arrived and left a nervous wreck. There were so many expensive gadgets designed to help you avoid accidentally injuring your infant. I came out convinced that I'd need a thermometer for the bath and about a hundred other things.

Oblomov Fri 12-Apr-13 18:05:51

Apparently not Betty.

glossyflower Fri 12-Apr-13 18:12:15

gail you do have a point re alcohol.
As I was generally allowed it on special occasions or at home with my dad offering me his lager which I declined as I hated it; when I was a teenager I never did the whole go out get drunk in the park thing. In fact I disliked alcohol and generally avoided it. I did try odd times when out with my mates, but I could never get drunk just sick!
When I did get drunk I hated being so out of control - and then sick later!

My first hangover was aged 11 on Baileys at my aunts house , can't remember how much but doubt it was a lot.. I didn't feel drunk but got the most awful migraine and was sick. I've hated the stuff since.

I'm expecting my first soon and I would allow them to try it at home with a meal when they are older if they wanted.
It's not illegal for an over five year old to have either wine, cider or ale with a meal at home under supervision.

fizzykola Fri 12-Apr-13 18:39:11

My mum smoked throughout pregnancy in the 70s and even lit up while in labour! The doc offered her one to help calm her down shock.

There was also a fair amount of snacking. My parents were overall really good, but I have a strong memory of smacks. And times my mum didn't follow through on a promise eg 'jump in the pool of course I'll catch you...'

Good post OP. too good. I got so absorbed the 3 and 4 yos have run riot and I've just been scraping fecal matter off the carpet. Sure my DCs could claim neglect!

fizzykola Fri 12-Apr-13 18:40:39

*smacking. I don't think snacking had been invented in the 70s

biryani Fri 12-Apr-13 19:00:18

Ah, those were the days! Most people in our community didn't have cars, so we didn't go far, but we could wander about our local mountains to our hearts' content. People were very strict a

VodkaJelly Fri 12-Apr-13 19:08:44

gail734 your op was exactly my childhood too and I was a 70/80's child. No set meal time, roaming the streets for hours. I couldnt swim and when aged 8 nearly drowned in a swimming pool.

And the sunroof also, with plastic fake leather seats!

My kids were dragged to swimming lessons!

Scrubber Fri 12-Apr-13 19:17:59

Glossyflower - my brothers used to make bombs too. The eldest nicked chemicals from school science club. There are still scars on the trees behind Mum's house and that was 40 years ago. They did not tell mum until they were adults!

magentastardust Fri 12-Apr-13 19:19:27

My sister and I were allowed a half glass of wine with Christmas dinner, we used to lie around in the back of the car (pre seat belts) and we used to get a quick shot of sitting on my dads knee and driving the car-on a private road.
We used to play out for hours and swim in the local river ourselves and with our friends from a youngish age -none of these things I would ever do with my dc's.

I remember my childhood as being a lot of fun though! (Hope my dc do too)

magentastardust Fri 12-Apr-13 19:24:20

Oh and I wasn't allowed to wear ankle bracelets as a teenager -as it was the sign of a woman of the night apparently?????

ClaraOswinOswald Fri 12-Apr-13 19:37:35

Well I wouldn't let my kids eat hash fudge for a start, or sell it at festivals. Friends think I'm a bit of a hippy Earth mother type- laid back, liberal, easy going but compared to my parents I'm positively draconian!
smile

nurseneedshelp Fri 12-Apr-13 19:45:38

Cramming into the boot of the car wen we went to the zoo so they didn't have to pay for us kids!

CheerfulYank Fri 12-Apr-13 19:57:50

My dad let me have a go with his rifle when I was 4/5, several times. He did help hold it though, so the kickback wouldn't break my shoulder.

Riding in the back of a pickup truck...was so lovely in the summer.

We were also smacked on a fairly regular basis.

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