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AIBU?

to think blimey its so much easier when one child isnt there

19 replies

wineoclocktimeyet · 08/04/2013 21:00

Firstly can I say I know how lucky I am to have 2 gorgeous boys and I would never want it any other way but the last 2 days have been a revelation!

Yesterday, DS1 was at a footy thing so it was just DS2 and I (DH working) - we played games at home (with no teasing/tantrums/wind ups) we went out for lunch (with no arguements about where we went), we played footy in the park for nearly 2 hours (with no tears cos someone tackled too roughly or comments about rubbish shots) we watched TV snuggled up (without a 30 minute argument about what we watched) and no kicking cos someone had 1.2cm more of the sofa

Today, DS2 went to a friends house and DS1 and I went to the cinema (without an argument about what we saw and squabbling cos someone had one more winegum than the other).... I think you get the picture.

We do try and do things one on one, but DH is self-employed so works such long hours and so the last few days are unusual and to be honest, as brothers go they do actually get on quite well, but the lack of underlying squabbling and tears cos the 'rugby' game has got out of hand, has been so refreshing.

So, having a bottle glass of wine to celebrate and ignore the fact its back to normal tomorrow!!!

PS I said this on the phone to a friend who has 3 children and she said she feels the same when 1 is out and she has only has 2 together

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MatchsticksForMyEyes · 08/04/2013 21:03

I agree completely. I had a rare day with just DD today and it was lovely. She was impeccably behaved today despite me taking her out for a lunch/catch up with my friend that lasted 1.5hrs. DS is a lot easier when she is at school too.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 09/04/2013 11:33

y'know its odd but it does not change the older they get, I have 2 DS the eldest (20) I have always had a difficult relationship with the youngest (17) is much easier. DS2 is away with DH and ds1 and I are really getting on well on our own. no idea why it should make such a difference but we are chilled and happy, missing DH and ds2 but ok together. weird as when we are all together DS1 and I seem to rub each other up the wrong way.

Icelollycraving · 09/04/2013 11:39

It is indeed nice on a day off without one ds.
I have one ds

ChasingStaplers · 09/04/2013 11:43

I have 3 DC and I love the time I get with each of them on their own (and they're all under 5!). Some days I feel like I'm constantly refereeing!

noblegiraffe · 09/04/2013 11:46

My baby is under the baby gym happily playing, my DS is at pre-school and I am sat with a cup of tea and some scrambled eggs on toast. This parenting lark is a piece of cake

EntWife · 09/04/2013 12:00

dd1 (3) is at nursery and dd2 (11months) was poorly this morning so i kept her home. we have had a lovely morning. she has played happily without big sis stealing toys and generally annoying her. we have had lovely cuddles and she has just eaten all her lunch without a fuss or a certain 3 yo winding her up.

tis a good day.

StinkyElfCheese · 09/04/2013 12:01

I have 4 yr old twin boys and a 7 yr old dd. I try to take one out for an hour on my own every Saturday just to remind me that they are lovely little beings rather than the complete monsters they are on mass :)

mummytime · 09/04/2013 12:10

I have 3, 16, 14 and 9. Yes it is still easier when 1 is away. My friends with 5 say the same thing. It just changes the dynamic.

jojane · 09/04/2013 12:24

I have 3 (-age 6,4 and 2) and its a case of divide and conquer, 2 feels much easier than 3 and 1 is a doddle!

Loa · 09/04/2013 12:30

yep - I think it's just because you have that extra attention available than normal.

AmberSocks · 09/04/2013 12:33

it doesnt change the more you have either,when i had 3,2 seemed like a break,now i have 4,when one isnt there it seems easy.

smoothieooo · 09/04/2013 12:39

I too have 2 gorgeous boys... who are polar opposites in character and temperament, who squabble, fight and upset each other on purpose. DS2 (13) bullies DS1 (14) because he's quiet, into football and a self-proclaimed geek. They are a nightmare together.

If I have only one of them at home it is bliss. They are truly lovely boys when not in the company of their brother!

Twattybollocks · 09/04/2013 12:53

You are so right. Dd1 and baby= easy peasy, ds + baby=easy peasy, dd1+ds= bloody nightmare, with or without baby!

choceyes · 09/04/2013 13:10

I thought I was the only one who thought like this! People always say how well their kids get on and play with each other and how it's easier than trying to entertain 1 child, but that was never my experience.
I have DS(4.5) and DD(2.5). I love love love spending time with them alone. It is soooooo much easier. DS in particular is very hard work when DD is there. Constantly annoying her, fighting over toys, teasing her etc etc. I'm constantly refereering them and I feel like I'm always shouting at DS to not do this and that, stop hurting DD etc
When it's just DS, he is a joy to be with, such a wonderful boy, behaves like an angel and I rarely have to raise my voice at him.
Although being with DD alone is still quite tough as she is a toddler and won't sit down, and touching things that she shoudln't be, it's still satisfying and I feel like I'm actually spending some quality time with her, even if it is exhausting!

cory · 09/04/2013 13:16

I used to think that.

Now that they're older it's often easier with the two of them. Dd gets panic attacks and ds is very good at distracting her.

But no doubt it is good for ds to be off duty sometimes and have a parent to himself.

KitCat26 · 09/04/2013 13:27

Divide and conquer!

I braved Tesco yesteray with both of them. They were both in the trolley and spent an hour headbutting each other and the little one kept wiping snot on her sister.

Its lovely with just one though. Everything is much more relaxed and they are angels. No fighting, playing rough til someone gets hurt or doing the 'She pushed me/She hit me' routine.

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 13:30

just me and dd1 here today and it is lovely without dd2 wittering on she is lovely but she does like a witter YANBU .

mrsjay · 09/04/2013 13:32

stepaway I agree it is the same when they are older obviously they need less looking after but mine are 20 and 15 and and it is such a break when only 1 is here ,

Scholes34 · 09/04/2013 13:34

I have three. With one away, everything seems easier (and cheaper), with two away the remaining child can't cope with all the attention, with all three away, I don't know what to do with myself!

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