ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.

to want to throw the coffee in her face?

(58 Posts)
RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 17:53:49

There is a woman at work, she is higher than me but is a completely different department so I don't work directly with her.

Every time she sees me she asks me to make her a coffee, which I do and then she never drinks it.

confused

I'm thinking it is just a power trip kind of thing but it's bloody annoying.

<disclaimer - I wouldn't throw coffee in anyones face.>

quoteunquote Wed 03-Apr-13 14:00:15

Are you sure she is not drinking the coffee? I love cold coffee, so leave it sitting for hours.

disclaimer I am not your boss, everyone makes me coffee without me asking

Doingthedo Wed 03-Apr-13 13:15:47

get to the pound shop in Scarborough, they have mugs with 'twat' on the front... for a pound!

ChasingDogs Wed 03-Apr-13 13:11:08

"Sorry, I'm on my break/working/about to have a wheelie chair race with Bob".

Or laugh, say "very funny! You get me every time! You don't even drink coffee you joker!" and walk off.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 03-Apr-13 13:07:27

Rocking I really hope you've found a good solution amongst all these suggestions because I really want to know what happened! grin

I really wouldn't make any comments about why doesn't she drink it? That's effectively agreeing you should be making it. Next time she asks, you're either on your break, or you're busy, but if she's making one, you'd love one thanks.
Been trying to think how I'd feel if a colleague of my boss did this. I'd do it, no question - because they would be asking as a one off and a favour, not doing it to have some stupid power trip!

Pagwatch Wed 03-Apr-13 12:28:46

X-posted with mansview. grin

Pagwatch Wed 03-Apr-13 12:28:02

If she doesn't drink it just keep it and give it to her again next time.
My mum used to do that if I didn't eat my cabbage.

MansView Wed 03-Apr-13 12:24:08

RE: "she is higher than me but is a completely different department so I don't work directly with her."
So why do you think you have to take orders from her?

this...

tho, it does seem very strange that you do make the coffee in the first place...

but if you feel as tho you have to - do you have a microwave oven? - then simply reheat the same cup over and over again... smile

SanctiMOMious Wed 03-Apr-13 00:25:05

it was heavy that yoke as well! i had to focus on not going red in the face when I was walking accross the office with it for the second time in half an hour.

ONE job I was prepared to do was change the water cooler. I remember a bunch of men standing around it gasping for water, 'oh i'm so thirsty, is there a maintenance man about?' and I picked up the old empty, and replaced it. Not saying it was easy, but it wasn't that hard. I was five foot 2. a line up of six footers stood there waiting for me to finish so they could have some water. they were so HOT!! standing around n all.
in their ties. bless.

GreenEggsAndNichts Wed 03-Apr-13 00:24:15

It's a shame she doesn't drink it, otherwise you could just make very very bad coffee every time until she stopped. Easily done if it's instant.

Anyway, agree with passive-aggressive responses above. It's a shame you've been doing it so long; you've set a bad precedent. Just 'forget' and go from there. Though I like the idea of noting that she must not like your coffee.

SanctiMOMious Wed 03-Apr-13 00:21:40

You sound like me Mrsdevere. I once had a man (again, senior to me I guess, but not my boss) put a typewriter on my desk. on MY desk. department of abotu 35,and me the only woman, so the typewriter went on my desk. logical to him. I put it back when he was at lunch. it had been at his desk when he arrived and he was new. He got the ache an put it back on my desk. I walked back to his desk with the typewriter and put it back on his desk, this time with him sitting there watching me, and the other 33 in the office slackjawed waiting for a good row. I said to him "i think it's important that whatever home you find for this typewriter, it not be on MY desk, as some people are prone to make sexist assumptions as it is, contact maintenance perhaps?;'

I had cojones when I was 24. what happened?

SanctiMOMious Wed 03-Apr-13 00:17:21

It doesn't matter whether she likes it or not. I wouldn't want ot be pigeon-holed as the woman walking around the office bringing other people coffee. So I'd just keep saying 'sure, coming right up" and then forget. and rinse, and repeat, and rinse and repeat. If challenged about your forgetfulness say'oh I'm sorry I had this report to complete and I guess I prioritised it!'.

ZacharyQuack Wed 03-Apr-13 00:04:35

Could you keep the previous day's undrunk coffee and just microwave it for her?

BruisedFanjo Tue 02-Apr-13 23:47:56

Power trip. Def. I kinda agree with those saying to ask her why she doesn't like it or say something along the lines of "Oh I would, but you don't seem to enjoy my coffee very much". That way, its all polite and above-board, but with the right tone, and look in your eye...

She will know that you're on to her

<twitch>

BruisedFanjo Tue 02-Apr-13 23:45:37

Power trip. Def. I kinda agree with those saying to ask her why she doesn't like it or say something along the lines of "Oh I would, but you don't seem to enjoy my coffee very much". That way, its all polite and above-board, but with the right tone, and look in your eye...

She will know that you're on to her

<twitch>

scrap my suggestion - the best passive-aggressive solution is to simply nod and then not make it. If she calls you up on it then you simply forgot because you are too busy doing your actual job

This happened to me once and in the end I just replied calmly "I'm sorry I'm really busy with xyz - but the coffee machine is over there"

Could you start wearing earphones? Especially when she is about - then you can pretend not to hear her? Does she actually wait for you to make it, do you bring it to her? Are you often near the kettle when she is about?

I would make it with cold water, especially if she doesn't drink it - she will stop asking, if she notices.

MrsDeVere Tue 02-Apr-13 22:45:46

I was a very young and very busy medical secretary in an A&E dept. I was the only one working for two consultants and a registrar and all the SHOs. Plus admin for nurses etc.

A new Manager arrived. On his first day he handed me his cup and said 'two sugars'.

I handed it back.

I was a shy 20 something but even I wasn't going to put up with that shite.

He never asked me again.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Tue 02-Apr-13 22:36:04

Or you could try 'sorry, I know you're management but you're not actually my manager and I don't really appreciated being ordered about'.

What's the worst that could happen if you're polite about it? Unless you are contracted to make someone's tea I can't see how she could expect you to carry on once you've raised the point.

"she is higher than me but is a completely different department so I don't work directly with her."
So why do you think you have to take orders from her? confused

BOEUF Tue 02-Apr-13 22:28:27

Can you mention it to your own line manager and say its making you feel uncomfortable? She/he might be pissed off at someone outside their team trying to put you at their disposal like this, and they might have an icy word.

YouTheCat Tue 02-Apr-13 22:25:39

I have a Twat mug. grin

If she asks again and you are on your break, just say you'll do it after your break. Then forget.

TheCraicDealer Tue 02-Apr-13 22:19:39

Wait, so you're being asked to do this on your break? That is downright rude! Part of my job as the office junior was (sometimes still is) to make drinks/get post/general dogsbody, but if my boss asked me to do it on my lunch, in my own time....no. Just no.

If she asks you again say, "Sorry, I'm just about to head out on my break [faintly apologetic smile]". If this is beyond you, take some hints from my charming forces DP. Tea-related revenge horror stories include willies being rubbed on rims of mugs, pee used as a flavouring...I could go on. My personal favourite was a friend of DP's dropping a "piss cake" from the urinal into their boss' tea and then leaving it on his desk. The Sergeant went, "What the fuck is this?!", the friend whisked over to his desk, picked up the mug and smiling brightly said, "oh, that was meant for the dickhead who made me make his tea again, sorry." and walked off.

Xmasbaby11 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:58:08

Why not ask her if you're making it wrong? You probably aren't, but it'll make her realise you know she isn't drinking it, and she'll have to make an excuse then, and perhaps think twice in future.

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