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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry with my neighbour about a spoon?

277 replies

Hullygully · 26/03/2013 15:25

It may sound petty, but two months ago my neighbour had a coffee morning (I wasn't invited, fine, we aren't best buds or anything), and she asked me if she could borrow some teaspoons. I lent her four, and she gave three back a few days later. They were wrapped up inside a napkin so I didn't notice until she'd gone that one was missing. Time just went by without seeing each other so there wasn't a casual opportunity to mention it.

I know it's only a teaspoon, but I feel really angry that she has basically stolen it. I don't feel I can mention it now because it's been too long and it is only a spoon, but I feel angry everytime I make a cup of tea and am reminded. I can't help thinking she must know. They are quite distinctive sppons, she must know when she sees it that it isn't hers.

OP posts:
abzfrom5ive · 26/03/2013 15:26

put a 'lost' poster up in your window
that'll shame her

MrsVJDay · 26/03/2013 15:27

Um, if it bothers you just ask her??

FreyaSnow · 26/03/2013 15:27

I can't possibly comment without knowing the monetary and sentimental value of the spoon in question, and its rarity.

TheVermiciousKnid · 26/03/2013 15:27

At least you can afford spoons. :(

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 26/03/2013 15:27

She's a spoony fucker. Alas, it's possible that your beloved spoon has gawn dahn the tip. At least, I think that's what happens to my mysteriously disappearing spoons. Spoon is an awesome word. Spoon. Spooooooooon.

Mutt · 26/03/2013 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Hullygully · 26/03/2013 15:28

They belonged to my grandmother and have a small monogram on the handle, but no real monetary value (except as silver)

OP posts:
bedmonster · 26/03/2013 15:29

Were they special (to you, like sentimental) teaspoons? It sounds like an over reaction to feel angry every time you make a cup of tea.

Mutt · 26/03/2013 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Acandlelitshadow · 26/03/2013 15:30

Ask her.

And buy a set of Tescos value jobs for future lending requests.

TheRealFellatio · 26/03/2013 15:31

You should not have lent her posh spoons. Foolish. Especially as you weren't invited.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 26/03/2013 15:31

Spoons? You have spoons?
As in more than one?

Spare a thought for all the people who can't afford spoons.
Obviously your neighbour is poor.

Can't you have a bit of compassion for people who aren't as rich as you?

I think you were jealous because you were not invited.

bedmonster · 26/03/2013 15:31

X-post, apologies. Well then i'm not sure why you can't just knock on her door and ask for the matching spoon to your others that you lent her for the coffee morning. If she's anything like me, she'll have just completely forgotten about it and never get round to doing those odd little jobs.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 26/03/2013 15:31

You lent your neighbour your grandmother's silver spoons? Dear God, woman, why?

Original poster
Hullygully · 26/03/2013 15:31

It might sound like an overreaction, but I just feel really aggrieved, because she MUST KNOW she has it.

They aren't sentimental as such, because my grandmother was really vile and prosecuted for animal cruelty, but they are a family possession and I wanted to give them to dd when she grows up.

OP posts:
HazeltheMcWitch · 26/03/2013 15:32

Just say - nicely - hey, did you find my other spoon? I lent you 4 you gave me back 3.

She can deny it (but will look a liar), say you gave her 3 (again, you'll both know it's a lie), or say she's either lost it or will look again.

If she'l look again, say yes please. It was my GM's and it has sentimental value. If she says she's lost it... never lend her anything again.

FunnysInLaJardin · 26/03/2013 15:32

I'm with Mutt, it's not hard to just ask why she hasn't given you the spoon back Smile

lurkedtoolong · 26/03/2013 15:32

Ask her. It's exactly the kind of thing I would do without noticing then wonder what the strange teaspoon was.

She may not be an actual spoony fucker (although that was my first thought on seeing the thread title) but you'll never know unless you ask.

ginslinger · 26/03/2013 15:32

Well you're lucky that you have spare spoons. Some people don't have ANY

Original poster
Hullygully · 26/03/2013 15:33

It's too humiliating to ask her...and what if she says, "No?" Then I'll know she is lying, she'll know I know she is lying and I'll know she is a thief, and then what?

OP posts:
HazeltheMcWitch · 26/03/2013 15:33

The £ value is immaterial! She borrowed 4, she needs to return 4.
My grandma was a witch, but I treasure a couple of (non-£) things I have form her, as that's all I have from/about her. Ie I have no especially happy memories of her.

TheRealFellatio · 26/03/2013 15:33

Then you kill her.

HazeltheMcWitch · 26/03/2013 15:34

If she says no, repeat - i gave you 4. You gave me back 3, where's the other one.

HazeltheMcWitch · 26/03/2013 15:34

Put me on the phone to her. I do stern really well.

Original poster
Hullygully · 26/03/2013 15:34

I can't phone the police and say my neighbour stole my teaspoon, can I? I suppose I could mention it to the Chair of our Neighbourhood Watch, do you think he could say something?

OP posts: