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To be shocked and appalled by this book

(152 Posts)
becsparkel Sat 16-Mar-13 23:45:52

I realise this has probably been raised before but I have only just become aware of this parenting book vile piece of shite, currently available for sale on amazon. The book advocates whipping babies as young as 4 months to "train" them to obey:

"At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree."

Many more sickening quotes on this anti site Why Not To Train A Child

There's a petition to stop Amazon from selling it here: amazon refuse to carry books which advocate the physical abuse of children

Great blog piece here: amazon we find child abuse offensive

plaingirly Sun 17-Mar-13 18:27:54

They write a lot of books.

There is one called Preparing to be a Helpmeet for single girls as well as Created to be a Helpmeet for married women.

They are quite popular in certain circles.

Youtube has interviews ..... www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtGcadeCevg

pointythings Netherlands Sun 17-Mar-13 18:31:48

Signed. Just thinking about this makes me ill.

ErrorError Sun 17-Mar-13 18:34:32

I'm struggling to believe this is a real thing. To quote: "When the baby bit, she pulled its hair (an alternative has to be sought for bald headed babies.)"

I notice a lot of bible quotes in the Amazon extracts. Not a great fan of religion but I don't slate others who believe, I just find it really disturbing that whenever practices such as this emerge, it is often a pretext for religious teaching/indoctrination.

In one example the author deliberately advises putting forbidden objects in easy reach of the child, to tempt them into touching so the parent can train them to learn the word "no." That's messing with the child's emotions. Unbelievable!

seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2016875109_hana28m.html - details 3 deaths attributed to the teachings of the book

becsparkel Sun 17-Mar-13 21:02:35

The campaign got some momentum a few years ago but it has tailed off a bit, in the UK at least - partly because it's now run from the US I think. Spread the word and yes, please use twitter/Facebook etc, the more signatures the better. It makes me so angry, that this is deemed ok by amazon because it's a child rearing book. Would they sell a book on how to train your wife to be obedient, using physical vioence as the main tool?!

plaingirly Sun 17-Mar-13 21:38:31

From the book for wives -

"You are created to be “a helper suited to the needs of a man. This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing….You are created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him.”

“You can freely call your husband “lord” when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husbands hands just as the Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities.”

“…first know that a husband has authority to tell his wife what to wear, where to go, whom to talk to, how to spend her time, when to speak or not to, even if he is unreasonable and insensitive.”

pointythings Netherlands Sun 17-Mar-13 21:40:38

plaingirly <boak>

Makes the whole 'Surrendered Wives' thing look positively benign, doesn't it?

plaingirly Sun 17-Mar-13 21:49:13

Scary stuff and the youtube videos are weirder.

“When a woman gets old and realizes that there is no man to love and cherish her, it is sad indeed, for she has failed in the very purpose for which she was created – to be a suitable helper for man.”

“The Scripture clearly teaches that the only safe place for a woman is under her husband’s authority.”

plaingirly Sun 17-Mar-13 21:52:50

www.youtube.com/watch?v=msUTDiDh9i8

Getting the younger generation involved ....

someoftheabove Sun 17-Mar-13 22:02:29

I remember watching a TV programme about 3 years ago on so-called "biblical parenting". The family had a tree in the garden from which the parents cut switches to hit their children with. In one scene, one of the children had done something wrong, so the mother went and got a switch, turned to the camera and said "It's switchy time." It was absolutely stomach-churning.

pigletmania Sun 17-Mar-13 22:06:55

Is this book from 100 years ago, certainly these methods are not in line with modern child rearing, anyone who treats teir child like tat would obviously go to jail

the book was published in 1994 so not that old at all

BertieBotts Germany Sun 17-Mar-13 22:23:36

Not in America piglet sad I don't think that kind of discipline was even illegal here in 1994 either TBH - although it is now of course.

One of the saddest things I ever read was a blog post by a Christian woman who had followed these techniques for the first few years of her childrens' lives and then had a revelation when somebody told her that there was another way and that actually the "rod" referred to in the famous bible quote (spare the rod) was a club which was used to fend off intruders, not a punishment tool! She was horrified at what she'd been doing to her children and totally changed her parenting approach and it worked (so happy ending, but still sad)

Manchesterhistorygirl Sun 17-Mar-13 22:31:35

Signed, tweeted and facebooked. Pls RT the fuck out of it MN followers.

Disgusting, those poor, poor kids. I'm sure Jesus wouldn't approve that's for sure!

pigletmania Sun 17-Mar-13 22:50:34

I have read some of the reviews and those who agree with this book are disgusting, one cals herself a Doctor, god help her patients. Everything about this bookis repulsive, and I used to smack but not now. Using a switch on a baby because they want to be picked up, what sadistic crap. I am shock. That's why ter are so any messed up adults in the US if this goes on

Softlysoftly Sun 17-Mar-13 23:27:16

Fuck me backwards only just finished reading through while comforting a badly sleeping 9 month old. Perhaps I should have beaten her until she learned to lie quietly and submit instead.

Bastards absolute Bastards. sad angry

Bluelightsandsirens Sun 17-Mar-13 23:37:03

The Amazon reviews are at least reflective with the opinion that it is an abusive book.

Manchesterhistorygirl Sun 17-Mar-13 23:38:19

I am @lexxity in twitter please follow me and RT my tweets to amazon.

candyandyoga Sun 17-Mar-13 23:43:20

I feel sick - do some people really buy this and use the methods? sad

I feel so sick for any poor child/baby whose parent follows this.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Mar-13 23:44:50

The gentle parenting groups I am part of have been campaigning against this since amazon first started stocking it, but they simply don't give a shit.

The Pearl's are majorly fucked up.

plaingirly Mon 18-Mar-13 07:09:16

I'm not sure how popular they are over here - most of the blogs mentioning the wife book were American.

Fairylea Mon 18-Mar-13 07:26:20

I've signed. I won't be buying anything else from amazon now. That's disgusting.

hamdangle Mon 18-Mar-13 07:28:00

Errorerror, it's not just punishment for a baby biting it's for If your baby bites while breastfeeding!!! What woman would actually pull the hair of their baby while feeding it??? Or think of an alternative physical punishment because their baby was bald? I have a four month old and just thinking about that is making me feel quite ill.

ErrorError Mon 18-Mar-13 07:41:18

hamdangle I agree, I noticed that later on. The baby wasn't even being 'naughty' as it was just doing what babies do, and far to young to know mum didn't want them to, so this treatment would be very painful and confusing for them. There's a lot of mixed messages with this 'method'. Totally shocking.

Ilovexmastime Mon 18-Mar-13 07:44:19

Unbelievable, what is wrong with Amazon?

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