To think lateness is the rudest thing?

(359 Posts)
slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:23:54

It says 'my time is more valuable than yours'.

I just don't understand this attitude where it is ok to be late. It's so flakey! And yet it seems that so many people think it's alright.

I feel like there's this perception that it's a little bit cool, and if you pick someone up for it, then you need to 'relax'.

Well, it's bloody not alright. It is RUDE.

Grr.

livinginwonderland Mon 25-Feb-13 16:13:46

it's so rude, and it drives me crazy. it's basically saying "i don't care that you have to wait around and that my actions are inconveniencing you, i'll do what i want because i can". if someone is continuously late, i stop hanging out with them and i won't hesitate to tell them it's because they're always late should they care enough to ask.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:17:48

living wow! How courageous! What kinds of responses have you had from these people?

gingeme Mon 25-Feb-13 16:23:36

Oh snooter I feel your pain angry.

thefirstmrsrochester Mon 25-Feb-13 16:24:12

My DM has made an art of being late. Her way of showing that, ultimately, she is what it's all about. And challenge her on it? Weeping & wailing and poor picked on me. Passive aggressive. As I think many persistent late comers are.
She left after me on my own wedding day fgs because she was so 'up to high doh' that she had to be allowed a solitary cup of tea in the house before striding in, in her own good time, as the mother of the bride, so the fekking wedding could commence.
Lateness is rude. End. Of.

CelticPixie Mon 25-Feb-13 16:25:28

Unless there's a good reason for it then I think its very bloody rude.

Argh huge source of annoyance for me!! I always make the effort to get places 5-10 mins early, so I can account for traffic or navigation issues etc.

Biggest source of irritation is DH's ex-wife. Always at least an hour late when dropping kids to us, to the point where DH and I have had to miss out on taking them for meals with family etc because they've not arrived on time; are NEVER ready when we go to get them (on time of course, have now started to show up early so we can chivvy them along!), and sadly this attitude seems to have rubbed off on my lovely DSS, who was dithering about getting ready soooo slowly for a party he'd been invited to by a school friend - when we reminded him of the time, he shrugged and said 'so? We'll only be half hour late, that's ok." We spent the next 5 minutes trying to explain that any later than ON TIME was rude!!

I probably wouldn't mind as much if the XW hadn't kicked off in a huff the two times we have been late to drop the children back (once due to traffic jam, other due to not realising clocks had gone back). Double standards!!

mamanancy Mon 25-Feb-13 16:27:47

My DH was late for our wedding..there nearly wasn't a wedding!! anytime we go anywhere now I tell him it starts 30 mins before it does so we are on time! Totally agree about it being rude.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:27:52

thefirst shock Good grief! What is WRONG with your DM? I'd have had to have cooled off a bit before I spoke to her again! You are a saint!

Seriously, is it a passive aggressive thing? Persistent lateness/flakiness?

AmberSocks Mon 25-Feb-13 16:29:56

lateness doesnt bother me at all unless its for something special and that person beig late affects everyone else.

and to me,it just says that person is either unorganized or got slowed down o the way,i wouldnt just assume they thought their time was more important than mine.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:30:16

maman What was his explaination for that?!

phoenix that is really, really sad she's bringing her DS' up like that, don't you think?

AmberSocks Mon 25-Feb-13 16:33:08

i was an hour late for my wedding,the world didnt end,no one died,they all just chatted ad had a drink ad some canapes,it wast intentional.

AmberSocks Mon 25-Feb-13 16:34:13

bloody n key

CrapBag Mon 25-Feb-13 16:35:29

Woo, my kind of thread!

I LOATHE LOATHE LOATHE lateness with a passion. Did I mention how much I hate it!! grin

It is rude and drives me mad, and like others have said, there seems to be this acceptablilty about it nowadays. People can swan in when they like etc and you are clearly U if you moan about it.

I know someone who has a bit of reputation for being late but god forbid if you mention it! She gets really shitty then states that she has reasons. Yes she may have had in the past (just about?) but these said reasons have gone and she is still always late. I am really fed up of the bloody excuses now, there is ALWAYS something. What do I not have a life also? I manage to always be on time though.

I have a very flakey friend who can swan in any time. She was late for getting the taxi to pick me up for my own birthday night out one time. I was fuming at having to wait over an hour whilst everyone else was out and waiting for me.

One time a friend of mine was over half an hour late to my DSs birthday party. I had delayed starting the games for her, then I had to stand there whilst she wittered on about her reasons for being late (not valid or relevent, something to do with the night before confused). I was really pissed off but as usual I said nothing.

Phosphene Mon 25-Feb-13 16:35:41

It is incredible rude, so YANBU.

DeepRedBetty Mon 25-Feb-13 16:36:29

Snooter I've got one of yours...

For DP, we resorted to ultimate measures, or rather his sister did. She had a special wedding invitation printed, just for him, with the time half an hour early. I was in on it too. It worked, we got there with ten minutes to spare! I considered putting him out of his misery on the way, especially the bit when we were stuck behind a tractor on a narrow lane, but he really deserved the punishment.

He's been much better since!

mamanancy Mon 25-Feb-13 16:36:38

slatternlymother: his transport was late but only because he hadn't booked it early enough in the first place! tbh I laugh at it now but it really annoyed me at the time..don't think I've ever been that mad lol

CrapBag Mon 25-Feb-13 16:38:12

A funny thing is though, why is it always the same people? Even when they come up with a valid reason, why is it never the ones who can manage to get places on time who ever have these reasons for being late? I genuinely don't understand that one!

flangledoodle Mon 25-Feb-13 16:38:19

I have always had a problem being on time I find it v difficult estimating how long it will take me to leave the house and make my jouney etc also, for some strange reason I find being early for anything strangely anxiety provoking. Sorry to all those I have kept waiting blush

nenevomito Mon 25-Feb-13 16:39:51

I'd much rather be early than late. At the very least I'm on time.

One of my loveliest friends is permanently running 20 mins late. She's not rude, just completely dippy. I just adjust my own timings when I'm going to meet up with her.

slatternlymother yes it does frustrate me and DH that our otherwise lovely little boy is being brought up with these very selfish kind of values, but we try as best as we can to correct the behaviour in the time he is with us! Luckily older DSD is much more mature and empathetic to other people's feelings.

SigmundFraude Mon 25-Feb-13 16:43:02

Extremely rude. YANBU.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:44:42

crapbag Yes, it IS always the same people. And a genuine reason is a genuine reason, but disorganisation to that extent should be dealt with.

lustybusty Mon 25-Feb-13 16:48:00

My now-exP was always late for everything. I tend towards 5 mins early. On the couple of occasions he apologised, (after we'd been together a while and chatted about his lateness) I just replied "good" (as in, "I'm sorry I'm late", "good"). Then I started on the "what time shall I pick you up? 6? Ok. I'll call at 10 to and if you're not in the car by 10 past, I'm going without you". I did, twice. But that STILL didn't stop him from causing us to be late leaving the house for my brothers 21st birthday party, causing us to miss the train, so he ended up forking out £45 for a taxi to get us there. I assume he will be late to his own funeral.

tabulahrasa Mon 25-Feb-13 16:50:04

<stands in the late corner with flangledoodle>

How do you be on time? I seem to be completely missing whatever it is that allows you to estimate how long things take...so I'm late or early for everything.

SmilingMakesMyFaceAche Mon 25-Feb-13 16:52:14

Well, I've just ended a friendship over this. Said friend decided to go off somewhere for the morning, knowing as a group we were meeting at 3. Threw her toys out if the pram when at 2 she was rung to remind her to turn up and wanted us to wait for her to arrive! She's a repeat offender. She called me a bitch for not wanting to wait. I've realised I can do without spending hours if my time waiting for her to turn up to things.

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