Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To think lateness is the rudest thing?

(359 Posts)
slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:23:54

It says 'my time is more valuable than yours'.

I just don't understand this attitude where it is ok to be late. It's so flakey! And yet it seems that so many people think it's alright.

I feel like there's this perception that it's a little bit cool, and if you pick someone up for it, then you need to 'relax'.

Well, it's bloody not alright. It is RUDE.

Grr.

chickensarmpit Mon 25-Feb-13 15:25:31

Yes it's rude but not the rudest thing. The rudest thing is having breath worse than dog shit and standing really close to me in the post office. Which is exactly what happened today! Personal space and tic tacs people!

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:27:51

Ooooh yes chickensarmpit. I also hate people who 'bodge' you 'by accident' with their trolley from behind when you're at the checkout in a supermarket.

I understand you need to get your stuff onto the checkout belt, but really; bodging me with your trolley isn't going to make me move any faster.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:38:34

As long as you’re not 2 hours late! There is a limit! I just bloody hate it, I don’t understand how people can be all ‘Oh that’s totes fine babes that you left me in the pissing rain and sleet on a streetcorner waiting for you for 45 minutes. I soooo don’t even mind because I’m just sooo cool. Now, d’you think you could be a total hun and drop me off at A&E? I’m pretty sure I’ve contracted pneumonia waiting for you. Thanks babes!! LOL!’

Fuck off, it’s fucking RUDE! Bah.

WMDinthekitchen Mon 25-Feb-13 15:42:24

I think that any unpunctuality is rude unless, for example, there is unexpected traffic congestion. This goes for either arriving late or arriving early. My mother was always 30 minutes early (OK if it is the dentist but not if invited to someone's house for a meal - you go round the block a few times or find somewhere to have a coffee).

expatinscotland Mon 25-Feb-13 15:44:37

'Punctuality is the courtesy of kings.'

adeucalione Mon 25-Feb-13 15:46:03

Yes, rude.

The only way to deal with repeat offenders is to make arrangements whereby their lateness will result in them losing out - so meet for a meal, or at the cinema, so that you can order your food or start watching the movie without them.

Funnily enough most of them manage to be on time for the things that are really important to them - not many people sacked for being repeatedly late.

I agree. And DH is habitually late. It's a MASSIVE source of aggrevation when we are both meant to be leaving the house to go somewhere.

thefirstmrsrochester Mon 25-Feb-13 15:50:01

rude rude rude rude.
And it reeks of 'my time is more valuable that yours'.

AND his father is habitually late.

Imagine the aggrevation when I went to meet them both yesterday, DH hadn't showed up on time and his Dad was quizzing me on when he would arrive.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:51:59

I just feel like now though, so many people are late without even acknowledging it; I must be one of a few who really care about it.

I'm not talking about being late through no fault of your own, and explaining/apologising when you do arrive.

It's just like turning up 10-15 minutes late is almost 'acceptable' now.

I didn't even turn up late to my own wedding. DH would've been beside himself. And we had guests waiting...

PhyllisDoris Mon 25-Feb-13 15:52:06

I agree. And I make a point of not saying "that's OK" when people say "I'm sorry I'm late". Because it's not OK.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:54:30

thesurgeonsmate That would be more than I could bear! I'd permanently be on edge!

thefirst exactly. That is why it is so rude.

Do some people honestly not see this?

I have a friend who I've known for many, many years. She is always late. Coming over to my house for a drink or popping out, she'll be at least 30 minutes late.

The worst one was when she and her DP were 45 minutes late for DS' Christening, only just arriving in time to get to the church. I was so, so hurt and angry.

grovel Mon 25-Feb-13 15:56:52

I hate people arriving early too.

If I invite guests for 7.30 it means that I'll be ready to receive them (just) by 7.30.

adeucalione Mon 25-Feb-13 15:57:42

Yes it does seem to be increasingly acceptable - I feel a bit old fashioned to turn up somewhere on time nowadays, and you are definitely made to feel a bit unreasonable if you display any irritation at being kept waiting.

Hence, for my own sanity, I only meet late people at places where I can carry on with my day without them - so I'll meet you inside the museum, text me when you arrive and I'll tell you where I am so you can come and find me.

Worst offenders - people who keep you waiting when you are doing them the favour of picking them up in the car, so you either sit outside with the engine idling for half an hour, or are forced to sit calmly in their house while they run around drying their hair or whatever.

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 15:58:19

grovel I agree, but I think that's far less common. Unless you've had experience? I sense you have grin

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:00:39

adeu That's awful, and when they behave as if there's nothing wrong, or it's just a minor inconvenience!

There is NO justification for habitual lateness. None.

I'm actually beginning to think of drawing away from my friend a little because it hurts my feelings so much.

grovel Mon 25-Feb-13 16:01:22

Oh yes. We've got friends who consistently arrive early. Bloody rude.

For parties I was brought up to arrive 15 minutes after invitation time.

I feel that with DH he'd be dismayed if he had to wait alone, so he's actively trying to avoid being first. But that means I have to wait alone every bloody time. Grr.

neolara Mon 25-Feb-13 16:05:24

I totally agree with lateness being the height of rudeness, as is being early. (Still haven't quite forgiven one mum who brought her two not very well behaved kids to my ds's birthday party 20 mins before kick off.) However, I think it is also impolite to be on time for a dinner invitation - ten mins late is the acceptable time to arrive in those circumstances.

gingeme Mon 25-Feb-13 16:08:43

Oh I despise people who are late sooooo rude. Im never late and would never dream of being .
My Dh is never late but he leaves going anywhere right till the last minute which makes me panic In case were late envy

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:09:47

Ah, now grovel parties are a different matter altogether I'm afraid. I also think 10-15 minutes after the start time is correct. Because it avoids any awkwardness, and allows the hosts any extra time to run out to Tesco/clean the loo/finish dressing/sit down for a minute.

thesurgeonsmate but that comes down to being comfortable in your own skin, don't you think? Being able to wait on your own for 5/10 minutes?

slatternlymother Mon 25-Feb-13 16:11:10

neolara See for a dinner invitation, 10 minutes late is questionable for me. Why? Do you put parties and dinner in the same lateness acceptability bracket? grin

I make a point of not saying "that's OK" when people say "I'm sorry I'm late". Because it's not OK.

Personally I find not accepting someone's apology even more rude.

snooter Mon 25-Feb-13 16:13:37

My husband of over 20 years' duration is late for all social occasions which drives me nuts. He typically faffs about for ages doing irrelevant stuff, knowing there's limited time, & then goes into the shower 10 minutes before I think we ought to leave, gets ready in a rush & then zooms out of the door when he is ready, leaving me trailing in his wake, as if I am the one holding him up! I know it's a power thing, before anyone points it out.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now