To really resent how sucked in my dh gets when playing computer games.

(122 Posts)
mameulah Fri 22-Feb-13 22:39:28

Anyone else in the same situation? Has anyone found a way of making their dh realise how totally infuriating annoying it is?

NotDavidTennant Sat 23-Feb-13 12:31:23

This is why I gave up computer games, they are such a time thief.

NichyNoo Sat 23-Feb-13 12:33:57

I hate these games. DH plays call of duty whenever he gets a spare minute. Despite us having a 2.5 year old and 2 month old DS. He is currently playing now while I simultaneously breastfeed and try to look after toddler. After that I need to stack dishwasher, change pooey nappy and make a start on laundry. He played it for an hour earlier this morning as well while I once again did everything. He plays it all evening.....we barely speak. I really pray the laptop breaks. And yes, I always ask him to stop laying and to join in family life but to no avail.....

TheSeniorWrangler Sat 23-Feb-13 12:35:11

Gail, if i'd pre-arranged to be online at a specific time to do something as a group with my friends, then yes.. i'd expect my DH to respect that.. its no different than if i'd booked a meeting hall for a hobby meeting, its just that i can do it remotely from my laptop on my sofa instead of physically leaving the house.

luckily, my game being a browser game, also has a 3rd party programme that can 'nanny' the game in my absence, so if someone needs my attention, i just turn the nanny on and do whatever i need to do.. i also trust my friends with the account keys if it needs a live persons attention and i cant do it.

I do also spend nights with my DH and days with my kids.. as i said to the OP, if its an unpausable game, then the way around it is to ask him to have some nights off the game with the family.

YouTheCat Sat 23-Feb-13 12:36:33

Nichy, take the fuse out of the plug. wink

BertieBotts Sat 23-Feb-13 12:43:37

It's just so elfish. And it's not like it's impossible either - DP quit WoW because it was taking too much time out of his life, but he still plays other games, he just limits campaigns etc to say an hour out of his night or one or two nights a week, basically, he plays with people who understand he has a life and don't expect him to be available 24/7. Usually he'll give me a heads-up too that he's planning to play a game for X time. And occasionally he gets drawn in and ends up playing all evening, but I don't mind, I can get drawn in to my own hobbies or a TV series or mumsnet or whatever too!

It's about priorities and making time for what's important. We miss each other if we spend too much time doing our separate things.

Fairenuff Sat 23-Feb-13 12:45:02

It sounds like he has made a commitment to other people without considering you OP, or his dd. He has not asked how you feel about this or whether you are happy for him to give so much of his time to strangers.

This is not really ok is it? It's disrespectful and selfish.

He is not single, he has responsibilities. I see no reason why this would change as your dd grows. What sort of relationship will he have with her, when he has no time for her?

What does he say when you ask him about it?

BertieBotts Sat 23-Feb-13 12:45:44

Erm selfish grin

MrsTwgtwf Sat 23-Feb-13 12:47:45

Surely it's only elfish if it's WoW or LOTR?

And didn't you mean elvish, anyway?

wink

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 12:48:23

i would say that because you have a 12week old, he should stop playing the games.

seriously.
DH hasn't played a computer game in a year because of DD taking precedence (although in the last couple of weeks he's started playing again in the late evening before bed because he finally has time)

some priorities have to change when you have babies - i would say for at least 4 months (and possibly 6 if you're BFing), no one gets to do any of their own hobbies because the baby is the priority.

mrsjay Sat 23-Feb-13 13:04:41

DH has an xbox and a Ps3 I dont get it I really dont all that shooting and whatnot I just sigh and leave him too it or moan till he switches it off, tbf he doesnt play a lot cos he is working funny hour s but on days off <rolls eyes>

TheDetective Sat 23-Feb-13 14:49:51

Dp plays games.

In our early days he was a complete cunt idiot over them. He would come to my house in an evening, get a meal, a shag, then he would make excuses about having to go home (a large variety of excuses!) but all he was doing was making sure he was home in time for his WoW raid or whatever it is.

I soon got him out of that by saying I wasn't prepared to be in a relationship with a selfish twat like that. As I was a single parent at the time, he was my social life, and I resented feeling used for a couple of hours in the late evening, then dropped for a fucking game!

He still plays games, no idea what, but all I know is if I ask him for something he can drop the game where he is. I think he has chosen his games carefully. I'm fine with this. I make sure we get equal downtime (have 13 week old!) so I can MN, watch a programme, sit on my arse and scratch it, and he is in charge of the baby for that time. Then I take over.

It works for us. If he was playing something that wasn't dropped immediately when I asked, I'd be very fucked off. As I'm sure he would be if I did the same.

I've noticed the stupid headset and chatting absolute shit to his mates/random strangers has stopped since the arrival of the baby so he can't be completely unaware of his annoying habits!

TiffIsKool Sat 23-Feb-13 15:53:36

Why is spend hours on PC games any different to spending hours here on MN? confused

lougle Sat 23-Feb-13 16:18:05

I agree. I don't go to the pub, I don't have expensive hobbies, I don't buy trendy clothes or expensive make up. I do like to play WoW.

WoW costs £9 per month - a cheap form of entertainment. I have friends there (as does my DH - we're in the same guild). I'm the Guild Master and I feel no obligation to log on if I'm busy with family. The guild I lead is run strictly on the understanding that WoW=pixels and Real Life comes first.

YouTheCat Sat 23-Feb-13 16:27:22

Same here, lougle.

I met dp in Wow. We are in the same guild and raid together but it's RL first.

Theicingontop Sat 23-Feb-13 16:28:11

Before me and OH had DS we'd attend game tournaments and win money. But since his birth we've completely changed our lives, we play when DS is in bed or if one of us are doing an activity with him outside, the other might squeeze in some games.

It's all about compromise.

The only thing that I've never understood is his love for football manager. That irritates me no end, when he's got a file going with his mate he can sometimes stay up all night playing the shit.

lougle Sat 23-Feb-13 16:28:20

Oooh what Server, YoutheCat? smile I'm on Alonsus.

YouTheCat Sat 23-Feb-13 16:31:06

Blades Edge. smile Might see you in lfr

TiffIsKool Sat 23-Feb-13 16:47:59

Why is spend hours on PC games any different to spending hours here on MN? confused

mrsjay Sat 23-Feb-13 17:55:31

Why is spend hours on PC games any different to spending hours here on MN?

well he is usually on the xbox so why not and I dont spend hours if everybody is in and I dont ignore them or swear at mumsnet well sometimes I do it is how engrossed gamers get baffles me, I can get up walk away from mumsnet, but DH has to shoot some terrorist or 'something' before he can, TBF we dont have young children and he didnt play as much when they were wee just sometimes it really gets on my nerves

Because of the level of involvement of the game tiff. At least with mn you can instantly put the PC/tablet/phone down and interact instantly with whatever's going on around you but with an mmo game or mmporg you can't pause the game and the game is very intense, it's completely different to gently looking at some websites.

seeker Sat 23-Feb-13 19:11:10

I can- and do- bake and mumsnet every weekday. I can and do mumsnet and chat in RL at the weekends.

Couldn't bake and game. Or chat and game.

ChuffMuffin Sat 23-Feb-13 19:22:55

I never got in to EVE. I used to visit Something Awful when all the Goonsquad implosion thing happened and it turned me off it. Tried it once and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.

WOW I played for years but I got bored with everyone and their DPS meters, gear scores etc. maybe I was on a server with idiots, I don't know.

EQ2.. I love that game so much. Really really good. Haven't played it for a few years. Used to be a Guide on there (like a mini GM).

Haven't tried SWTOR but my first MMO was SWG. I'm expecting TOR to be like Galaxies and it won't be. sad

TiffIsKool Sat 23-Feb-13 23:49:08

seeker - you can MNet and floss at the same time. Still doesn't make MNetting for hours, albeit in small chunks, any different from guys who spend solid hours playing games.

Some posters seem to make a big deal about how kids should be out there having fun instead of studying. It's kind of ironic how parents are spending hours online discussing how their kids should do more with their lives than sitting in front of a PC.

YouTheCat Sat 23-Feb-13 23:51:22

I bake. I game. I chat. I drink wine. I MN. I even find time to pee. grin

"Couldn't bake and game. Or chat and game."

Some of us can and do game and do other tasks (not bake, can't bake for shit)

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