To ask what SAHM,s with kids at school do with their days?

(454 Posts)
totallyfrazzled Tue 29-Jan-13 22:53:34

I am mainly a SAHM but both my children are now school age. I do work PT, but as I work freelance my work days are erratics so I often find myself being a SAHM for a full week. Despite the fact that I do work, albeit slightly randomly, I find that I cannot give myself credit for the multiple tasks that I perform in anyone day at home....getting the DC's dressed and ready for school, driving them to school, clearing up the breakfast chaos, making the beds, doing the shopping, blah blah blah, preparing the evening meal, collecting the DC's, getting thru the homework, etc etc etc. i seem to be able to fill a whole day with domestic drudgery and still I am treading water, i.e. I am keeping everything at a status quo rather than actually achieving anything. I feel duty bound to keep on with domestic duties whilst not actually in renumerative employ. I feel guilty doing otherwise.Wondering if any one anyone else is in the same boat?

Squeakygate Tue 29-Jan-13 23:33:00

I'm about to become a ft sahm after 7 years pt worker. I'm worried I will be bored.
But I will have a preschooler full time until September.
My friend tells me it is a mind set, easy for some, not others.

FlipFlopFloss Tue 29-Jan-13 23:35:36

A bit of housework and household admin and drudgery

A bit of me time - bath, book, TV, a run, mumsnet

Shodan Tue 29-Jan-13 23:40:26

I do whatever I like, when I like. Sometimes this includes housework. Sometimes it just means twiddling my hair. Usually it means some form of exercise (running, the Shred etc)

But sometimes I do wish I had some kind of career. Not job, career.

However I am very much looking forward to learning a couple of new languages, finishing writing my book ( if only just to finish the sodding thing), maybe joining the WI-a lot of stuff, really.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Tue 29-Jan-13 23:42:17

I was off sick today and kids all at school, I was still bored in between throwing up. It reminded me of being a SAHM
And I just felt secluded and lonely. As much my job stresses me out at times and my housework has gone to pot, my wee job is my lifeline and I'd hate to go back to being a SAHM again.

Shodan Tue 29-Jan-13 23:44:10

I like being on my own a lot, though.

Maybe if you're more of a 'people person' the solitude might grate.

LouMae Tue 29-Jan-13 23:45:32

Really jealous of the sahm with a cleaner and a cook!

WorraLiberty Tue 29-Jan-13 23:47:36

Actually my 13yr old was off sick Thurs, Fri and Mon with a nasty virus and now my 10yr old has come down with the same thing today.

That always makes me wonder how some WOHPs manage, especially if they don't have family to help out.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Tue 29-Jan-13 23:49:58

See I like my own company, I don't (or I didn't) think I needed anyone but day in day out of solitude drove me mad and I was diagnosed with depression when I didn't work. Maybe living in a small village with all my friends working and no adult conversation all day didn't help.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Tue 29-Jan-13 23:53:09

worra thankfully my boss is amazing if the school call me to pick up a sick child or I call in because of a poorly child. I don't have any family to call on so an understanding boss is a godsend.

WorraLiberty Tue 29-Jan-13 23:56:17

Brandon that's fantastic to hear.

I was just thinking because my 13yr old had 100% attendance and yet this bug knocked him for six from Thurs to Tues and then with my other DS coming down with it...that might mean another 5 days sick but without the weekend covering part of it.

Then if I came down with it too...that could be another week or so again.

I know a lot of employers just aren't that patient.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Wed 30-Jan-13 00:01:57

Yeah I know what you mean. Infact I got a call today from my sick bed to pick my 13 year old up from school as he had fainted. He's fine now, but now my 5 year old is coughing her lungs up and has a temp. I don't like to think I'm seen to be taking the piss with having been sick myself and then maybe having to take tomorrow off too with sick dd. thankfully as a family we very rarely get ill, do t know what the hell is going on this week, we're dropping like flies!

rainbowsprite1 Wed 30-Jan-13 00:05:30

I have just changed my work hours (due to unsympathetic new boss about me taking time off for ill kids - long story) & now only work 1 weekend day + night & 3 other nights a week. I'm not totally a SAHM but I am during school hours, I'm loving it! If I have worked 3 late nights in a row (like now) I know that after doing the school run tomorrow I can go back to bed for an hour! Bliss!!! I'm sure after a week or so I might get bored but at the moment its great.

damppatchnot Wed 30-Jan-13 00:06:11

I want to be a sahm!

I work full time hours in 4 days and volunteer at school on Fridays teaching

I'm up at 6am and don't sit down till 9pm and still have enough time to have a hobby and have quality time with dc's age 5 and 9

When I say sit down at 9 I actually mean fall down grin

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Wed 30-Jan-13 00:09:45

damppatchnot

Wow, I'm impressed! grin I'm shattered ready that! Is your hobby sleeping?

LouMae Wed 30-Jan-13 00:12:58

Worra, I'm lucky in that my dad is retired so will look after ds if he's ill. Work would actually be fine with time off but I would feel guilty as I'm one of two managers in an extremely busy dept and the other manager's workload would be so heavy.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Wed 30-Jan-13 00:13:56

Reading*

WorraLiberty Wed 30-Jan-13 00:15:55

That's what I mean Lou I don't understand how people without family cope.

HousewifeFromHeaven Wed 30-Jan-13 11:29:06

I've just put our house on the market so that'll keep me busy for a while. In fact, have just worn myself out hiding things in cupboards!

I sit around miserable and depressed, constantly searching for jobs but feeling like a complete failure

I do lot of vague wafting.

I MN, walk the dog, muck out the horse, food shop, cook, read the paper, do the crossword, visit my father, lunch with friends.

I work part time but I am taking voluntary redundancy so I will have even more wafting time.

Hurrah!

Speedos Wed 30-Jan-13 11:36:31

Become a gym addict!

I study with OU

I volunteer

I do dps accounting and admin

And I work part time from home

I'm still bored most days tbh... I think I'd lose my mind just minding kids and doing housework all day every day.

I mean fgs, I'm curled in a chair mning with a cat curled on my lap atm. Yes I could write a very impressive sounding list of what I've done this morning but the fact is it was all done in an hour and now I'm just killing time til I can collect ds2 from playschool.

wallofdoom Wed 30-Jan-13 11:42:43

I crochet, read, knit, go for long walks and look for a part time job. I love my own company but do find it very isolating being at home all day.

KellyElly Wed 30-Jan-13 11:56:16

I work so don't have that time but if I did I would - exercise, read, nap, lunch with friends, clean (not every day though!), pamper myself (face mask, maybe a massage), take up a hobby (in my case quite fancy photography), watch a film, bit of daytime TV, if I was tired I'd go back to bed after dropping kids at school, go for a walk, sunbathe (in the summer obvs), I really could go on and on. That's why I keep doing the lottery because I have it all planned out grin

HousewifeFromHeaven Wed 30-Jan-13 11:57:12

Oh cat you're not a failure I'm sure! Times are tough for job hunters I know but something will come up soon fingers crossed

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