are fathers equal to mothers?

(231 Posts)
tittytittyhanghang Mon 28-Jan-13 22:33:12

Regarding parenting babies/toddlers. I thought they were? If a mother and father are no longer together they surely it is important and right for that child to maintain an equal relationship with both parents (given that both parents love the child and want as deep and loving relationship with the child as possible). Bars breastfeeding then, i dont understand how mothers are somehow superior to fathers and a baby/toddler 'needs' to be around the mother at all times, (I actually find this argument deeply insulting to mothers who have went back to work and left their babies in the care of childminders etc) whereas it would only need to be around the father a couple of hours a week. AIBU to think this is more to do with the mothers insecurities and that in fact a baby would be cope fine spending more than a couple of hours/overight with the father.

This probably is a thread about a good few threads i've read on mn, so flme me if you feel the need but im a bit irked (and shocked) that the likes of this can be said - 'That aside don't talk about your rights as you don't have any, she as the childs mother & primary carer calls the shots so the sooner you get your head round that the better you'll get along.' and hardly anyone challenges it.

Wallison Wed 30-Jan-13 21:53:06

eliza, if that situation (crying baby, impossible to settle etc) did arise, then the OW should get out of the bed and sleep on the sofa. No way should anybody share a bed with a child that isn't theirs.

5madthings Wed 30-Jan-13 21:57:29

Exactly Eliza and even if it was an amicable split I still wouldn't be with a man that didn't treat the mother of his child with respect and kindness. I would expect him to put the babies needs first and work on building a relationship with his baby.

elizaregina Wed 30-Jan-13 22:32:37

same here, wouldnt that also be so much more endearing and attractive - assuming it was an amicable split....than a man trying to give someone a nervous break down through un reasonable demands.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 30-Jan-13 23:01:29

Can I just jump in and say I was not saying its ok for any adult to co sleep with a child that is not there's because I don't think it is.

And I agree no way would I evolve myself with a bloke who ditched his pregnant or new mum partner, its far to easy to have the same thing done to you.

5madthings Wed 30-Jan-13 23:10:34

sock don't worry I didn't think you were saying that smile

And I think we agree that a man that abandons his pregnant wife or doesnt treat the mother of his child with respect and kindness is a bit of a turn off tbh!

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 30-Jan-13 23:57:21

I just noticed I put evolve instead of involve, it made me giggle.

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