To stop dds beloved violin lessons because she wont practice?

(71 Posts)
MariusEarlobe Mon 28-Jan-13 19:31:55

She loves her violin lessons and enjoys them after school each week but she will not practice at home at all, teacher isn't happy as she's never learnt anything she's asked to do and is never going to progress.

I've asked her and she definately wants to continue.

Pandemoniaa Mon 28-Jan-13 19:33:26

Then tell her that continuing is conditional on practicing. Otherwise the lessons will stop.

Sparklingbrook Mon 28-Jan-13 19:34:40

YANBU. We had this with DS1 and keyboard lessons. He loved the after school lessons but wouldn't practice. We cancelled the lessons.

badtemperedaldbitch Mon 28-Jan-13 19:35:47

But why won't she practice?

magimedi Mon 28-Jan-13 19:36:54

YANBU.

Practice or no lessons. Easy.

Does she have a good violin? I had a crud one that was always off and meant I couldn't play properly.

Give her til the end of the current term on condition that she practices.

casawasa Mon 28-Jan-13 19:38:45

What age is your dd?

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 28-Jan-13 19:40:39

YANBU. If she doesn't practice you may as well throw £10 notes down the toilet.

Snazzynewyear Mon 28-Jan-13 19:40:49

Final warning that stopping lessons will be the consequence if teacher thinks she is not making the effort. And emphasise it's not about being good but about trying her best or at least giving it a fair go.

Sparklingbrook Mon 28-Jan-13 19:42:38

Practising is boring though. It's the reason I gave up violin. I hated practising. I got to Grade 5 then jacked it. My Dad wasn't best pleased, but he was shouting at me to practice. sad

CashmereHoodlum Mon 28-Jan-13 19:42:46

How old is she and how long has she been learning?

bowerbird Mon 28-Jan-13 19:53:13

How old is your DD? And does she practise (or is she expected to practise) on her own? Depending on her age, you should probably sit in on the practise sessions.

Jinsei Mon 28-Jan-13 19:54:29

I agree, give her a warning and if she doesn't practise more, stop the lessons.

I used to play an instrument which I rarely practised as a kid. My parents asked me repeatedly if I wanted to continue, and I always said yes. Truth was, I wasn't interested but I thought I'd be letting them down if I quit.

If she isn't motivated to practise regularly, then she really isn't that bothered.

bowerbird Mon 28-Jan-13 19:56:03

If she's 10 or under then you have to sit in on the practising, every day (at least 5 days a week). It doesn't have to be for long - 20 minutes is okay (30 is better). It's unreasonable to expect a still-learning young musician to just "get on with it", especially with violin, as it's a fiendishly difficult instrument.

Sparklingbrook Mon 28-Jan-13 19:56:54

Does any child enjoy practising? I always looked at it as a chore. I played in the County Orchestra which involved going to practice all day every Saturday. sad

GoldenGreen Mon 28-Jan-13 19:57:07

I would ask the teacher to tell her exactly how much practise she needs to do e.g. 10 mins a day and then if possible sit with her when she does it at a set time each day. If she still won't then definitely stop the lessons.

I agree, lessons need to be contingent on practise. My dd is nearly 8 and she understands that, if your dd is younger that maybe she isn't ready for lessons yet? I would tell her that unless she practises between now and half term that you will be cancelling her lessons. She can either at a later stage restart them or take up a different instrument, but don't keep paying if she won't practise. In a year or two she might be more ready.

Weissbier Mon 28-Jan-13 20:03:30

What pictures said. I'd start with fifteen minutes a day six days a week, this is enough for a young beginner. It can be helpful to have them practice before school, not after - then it's done for the day, and they don't have to do it when they are tired after school and also have homework.

poodledog Mon 28-Jan-13 20:06:06

It's great that she wants to continue, and you use the word 'love' so that's fantastic! All children go through ups and downs with practice, and it's not uncommon for children to avoid practice at a young age. She will still be gaining a lot from the lessons, so it's not money down the drain. It might be a good idea to meet half way, starting only a couple of practices a week, perhaps on the weekend, using a sticker chart or something. Motivation and encouragement are key. (I teach the flute and I'm a mum of four)

Flossiechops Mon 28-Jan-13 20:06:44

Yanbu I think. My dd who is 9 is like this with flute lessons. We begrudgingly pay £65 a term for 15 minutes a week during school, she will not practice and I think it's a huge waste of money. We have signed a contract though and I'm not sure we can get out this term!

diddl Mon 28-Jan-13 20:13:10

Is it too expensive for her to do it just for fun?

Does it matter if she doesn´t progress??

I used to love playing the violin until I had a teacher who just took the joy out of it for me.

lljkk Mon 28-Jan-13 20:17:42

I let Dd do it just for fun for a few years & then I told her to pay for them or practice. We ended up with a system where I confiscate all her pocket money & she earns it back by practicing (cheap school lessons).

this has worked very well and she's now working towards Grade 3 (yr6).

Weissbier Mon 28-Jan-13 20:19:10

My teacher made us all practice for a minimum of an hour a day, even the five-year-olds, we had to fill out a chart she inspected every week. Not for everyone but it doesn't half work grin. I adored her, I always evangelize to my students that the more they practice the more fun it will be...

MariusEarlobe Mon 28-Jan-13 20:21:55

She's ten and in year 5, she's been doing it since September, teachers told her ten minutes a day and introduced stickers/rewards for so many sticker. No avail.

She's been given many chances to opt out, im not bothered if she stops or not but support her and sit with her.

She doesn't need to practice cause she can do it already hmm.

Viviennemary Mon 28-Jan-13 20:26:25

It is quite usual for children not to practise their music when they should. It's a difficult one but if the teacher isn't happy then something needs to be done. Can you not specify a time starting of with small amounts say 15 minutes three times a week and if she won't do it then I think you should considering stopping the lessons.

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