To feel so upset regarding contact.

(1000 Posts)

Some of you may know my backstory from the nature of my post. I namechanged a while ago and have been trying to put the past behind me and move forward with 5mo DD.
Me and my ex have a rather volatile relationship. He didn't want me to keep DD. since she has been born he hasn't provided physically or emotionally. He pays half the maintainence he should.
I tried to keep him seeing DD, him coming here, me there (2.5 hour drive). Supervised by me.
I don't want or agree with any child been taken away from their father but he is so inconsistent and to put it bluntly useless it had crossed my mind that it may be better if he goes away.
He has had a new girlfriend who seems to have taken priority since when I was 5 months pregnant.
It's now 22 days since any contact with him. He's ignored my attempts to send pictures and updates and is like to know if I am BU by thinking this is not acceptable and letting it upset me.
I'm a bit of a wreck today. I know this is AIBU but please try to be gentle.

I emailed the lady that helped me ages ago that previously worked with women's aid and is now with another charity.
I will wait and see shock

Mediation obviously rang him because I just got the worst email I've ever had

flow4 Fri 08-Mar-13 18:55:23

Oh goodness, I just realised there can be only 25 more messages before this thread gets 'closed'. sad Make, you'll have to start a new one! smile

clam Fri 08-Mar-13 18:57:03

Stick it in the pile with the other rants and pour yourself one of these: wine

I think ill move to OTBT so everyone knows.

I'm a bully, I'm controlling, if I carry on he will walk away and tell her the truth when she can decide.

CruCru Fri 08-Mar-13 19:15:15

That's one not to reply to. What is OTBT?

Casserole Fri 08-Mar-13 19:16:52

Well that sounds like a result Make!
Let the fucker walk away. Your DD will know the truth x

He won't go though? Mummy pulls the strings for him.
Another threat.

OTBT- off the beaten track, but ill have to find it and we have to think of a title so I don't loose all you ladies smile

balia Fri 08-Mar-13 19:19:24

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Or post here so we can all take the mick.

wine

CremeEggThief Fri 08-Mar-13 19:21:37

Told you he doesn't deserve a birthday card wink. Fucking prick!

I'm a stupid little girl with a head full of lies and fantasies I'm ruining DDs life

StrugglingBadly Fri 08-Mar-13 19:37:29

Make, shut that email down. Ignore him. Seriously, let your mum filter these for you. You don't need that crap.

I love the fact they go in my junk folder.
I have wine and a book and a snuggly baby smile

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 08-Mar-13 19:39:33

On the bright side, make sure you keep all if these abusive emails text, they will look good for you, and bad for him.

Oh yes I print them straight out now

Oooh ignore, ignore ignore.
Keep the emails.

Let him go. He's not worth you investing your time and energy into love.
You can tell her the truth about him too, and it's far bleaker.

You don't have a bullying bone in your body.

And YY get someone else to filter your emails.

Got to run as having issues with DD this evening. Will try to get back later.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 08-Mar-13 19:46:30

Wow, Mummy needs to put that boy into time out.

Has he not got what he wanted make?

StuntGirl Fri 08-Mar-13 19:54:23

He's escalating because his bullying tactics haven't worked so far. What it means, every time you get one of these arsey emails, is that you're doing the right thing grin

Hope DD is okay
He is a first class tool, I need to forget the good memories as there are far more bad

GregBishopsBottomBitch Fri 08-Mar-13 19:57:09

Everytime he sends one of those email, things get a little more in your favour.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 08-Mar-13 20:00:21

Has a chip the size of Norfolk on his shoulder doesn't he? if he spent the nervous energy on building bridges that he actually puts into firing off spiteful texts/emails, he really could have a constructive meaningful relationship with his DD.

Jux Fri 08-Mar-13 20:07:14

Make a subfolder in your Inbox and then set up a filter so that they go straight in there. Then you don't have to even open the subfolder (unless you want a laugh) and you're not going to lose them when the junk gets emptied.

Is anyone else thinking he chose these mediators because they don't do shuttle mediation? Or do I have a stupendously warped imagination?

When you go for the initial assessment, take all the abusive texts and emails with you, along with any diary or catalogue or other record you have of his delightful little ways. Show the mediator what the bastard's like. Show them all the contact things you've tried to get agreed with him, everything.

Then ask them why they think you will feel confident being in the same room as him.

That's if you can't find another mediator in your area.

That's a great idea.
He's got a chip the size of the uk!! He can see her anytime he knows that... Still not asked or made any plans to see her.
It's all about getting at me, and I think he's struggling now as I don't let him know if he's getting to me I ignore him.
Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry but I don't let him know a thing.
It's so sad, as it never had to come to this. They could have had a brilliant relationship from before she was born.
I deep down know he wants to walk away and I think sometimes the resentment he has for his parents forcing him to be involved is thrown at me.
The emails get sent to provoke me to send a reply to show his parents that I'm a evil bitch. Yet, he never gets one so the more he tries by fabricating things and trying to twist my thought patterns.
It will be the same no matter what the outcome of the future whether it be mediation or court. What really bothers me however is the fact money is going to be spend somehow trying to rectify this. It doesn't matter regarding legal aid as he won't recieve it but that could have been money for DDs future.
Something such as in my dreams a pony, in which would both families could have bonded. I can dream my pipe dreams.
It hit me hard today what the doctor said about not letting me have CBT until I'm lifted a little as I won't accept it. That was on the phone, my medication was doubled, and the prescription she dropped in our letterbox with a note on her way home, saying to call anytime. She didn't have to do that.
The messages I post on here are so up and down. Sometimes I find I tend to put myself down in a attempt to protect and hurt myself to lessen the blow before someone else does.

Ill move to off the beaten track now, you will see me smile

SoftKittyWarmKitty Fri 08-Mar-13 21:00:34

You've summed him up right in your last post. All this - the threats of court, the abuse via email - is to mess with your head. It's nothing to do with DD, as proved by the fact that he hasn't arranged to see her this weekend. What a compete twat. Mediation will see right through him, but they get lots like him (unfortunately).

See you over on OTBT/lone parents/wherever you decide you're best off.

flow4 Fri 08-Mar-13 21:01:55

Oo, I've never been message 1000 before smile
Hope I can find you on OTBT...

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